I don’t know how to write this, other than to climb onto my soapbox and plead to the skies to be heard; to have my thoughts acknowledged and recognised – for once not by the people who visit here (because I’m pretty sure most would be in agreement, and if not, the disagreement would at…
Tear. You can have it both ways with this one – ‘tear’, as in the things which drown my eyes and shine tracks down my face in the lamplight; or ‘tear’, as in the portion of my heart which ripped and ripped again with each loss and each reminder. A year ago today I shared…
I’m lying absolutely still next to my sleeping son, adrift in my thoughts when I notice his silhouette appearing around the corner, shrouded in darkness and nighttime haze.
Dear Life, You win. You’ve been winning for years, but I thought I was a fighter. I thought I had Right on my side. Or Love. Or *something*. And it’s not that there wasn’t love, not by any means – it was there. Lots of it. But you cheated. You fucking cheated.
This hearkens back to the spirit of one of the reasons I decided to write so frankly and openly here – to document the dual horrors of miscarriage and infertility and the ways they impact, in the faint hopes that someone, somewhere, will read it and feel less alone; less the way I did while…
It’s been a while… …to the point where I discovered that Facebook ‘yells’ at you if you’ve not published anything for longer than it deems appropriate – “Your paltry number of Facebook Followers haven’t heard from you in EIGHT days! Write them something! Have you disappeared? Buck your ideas up!” I stopped writing so that…
By the time my Grandma died, she no longer knew me. She barely remembered her children (her biggest smiles reserved for her youngest – my uncle) or her doting husband, who sat by her side, silent in his grief at watching the shell of his wife slip away. Her soul had gone ahead, as is…
I don’t want to write this, not really – and I know I don’t owe it to you – but I feel like I owe it to myself, in a way, because I’ve committed (as part of my justification for having a blog) to documenting the ups and downs of infertility/child loss, as a kind…
