I am beautiful

Have you ever tried something you thought you’d (probably) be amazing at, only to find that your abilities were slightly underestimated or applied wrongly? Have you ever discovered, quite by accident, that there’s something you’re really pretty good at? Excellent, even? I have. I started taking drama classes as a teenager, absolutely convinced that I…

No Greater Love

Don’t grow up war-torn. It can leave you battle-scarred in the most unexpected of ways – I have the physical scars, because very few escape without them, and the mental and emotional scars of seeing so many deaths – of a constant, agonised community bowed low under the weight of so many bodies needing burial…

Shadows and Stardust

Have you ever experienced a moment in life where something caught you *so* by surprise that you could barely breathe for fear of breaking the moment and having it end? I’ve had a few, and they stay with me, tucked away in my memories in a snug, tiny box marked ‘Here be Treasure’. When you…

There simply isn’t enough time

The crisp, freshly-laundered coat is crinkled at the waist, causing deep runnels like mountains and valleys or the pattern you get in the sand after the tide has receded. It smells sweet, almost like flowers but with something a little deeper and more cloying than a natural scent – perhaps artificial scents, flavours and colourings…

Ashamed and Chagrined

Did you ever have to deal with a feeling of dread? That one where your stomach sinks and clenches, and you want to be sick just to be rid of the gnawing in your guts? I’ve got that now. Because I think that there are times when trying to be transparent is way overrated, and…

Going Deep

As I park at the harbour and check the weather again for the last time, I can feel myself begin to unwind. It’s a perfect day with the sky stretching blue as far as the eye can see and the water sparkling, ruffled with cats paws as a gentle breeze plays over it. A special…

At last, I can speak freely

You just never know when life might change completely. For me, it was a few years ago, when I stepped off  the pavement to cross the road. Perhaps I shouldn’t have crossed by that van. Perhaps I should’ve looked again. Perhaps I should have just stayed home that day, and never tried to get out…

Tattoo Memorial

It was the day after I was 18. I walked up to the dark, little parlour, sandwiched between a take-away and a Thai Massage Parlour (probably a knocking shop) and stared for a moment, bewitched by the overwhelming number of images in the window and a little over-awed by the enormity of what I was…