The Blogosphere Inequivalency

All good ‘Finish the Sentence Friday’ posts tend to start with, well…a sentence you have to finish.

Except in this case I can’t, which is an indictment of my skill as a writer, or a comment on my experience. I rather think it’s the latter.

The sentence to consider boiled down to ‘The Blogosphere is a lot like high school – discuss…’, which I suppose for some people might be the case. For me it’s absolutely the very furthest thing at all EVER from high school (which, for one thing, I didn’t go to, being English (though apparently now it’s becoming a ‘thing’ there, and I’ve seen one or two in the neighbourhood (a fact which presents me with some acceptance issues, after all WHAT NEXT?!))).

I can kinda sorta see where the sentence is going, in a ballparkish way. There are cliques, make no bones about it.

I’ve seen/heard of/been part of/been part of and left/was never invited to/never wanted to be one of the mommy bloggers, poets, fanfic set, affiliated up the whazoo, storytellers, authors with platforms, world-savers, social activists, so yes, there are groups of people who can get a bit, hmmm, territorial at times, but that hasn’t hugely impacted me.

Maybe because I’ve never really belonged properly to any of them (okay, THERE’S my ‘yeah, it’s the same’ moment). I’ve always felt pretty peripheral, mixing with all sorts and happy to knock along with anyone as long as they were friendly and I could stand to read their posts (never said I didn’t have my own brand of snobbery). I’m the kind of person who needed very little encouragement to decide that someone’s a person I’d like to get along with, then bug them and flood their posts with comments and likes and shares until they gave up and let me hang out with them.Yaknow, way back when the Blogosphere was a bit more vibrant/populated/involved than it is now. In my corner, anyway.

Life changes, and thank goodness it does.

In school, we didn’t have the same cliques as American high schools. There were no such things as cheerleaders, jocks, geeks, princesses, or whatever elses. We had people who played sports, people who were smart, people who were time-wasters, people who were popular, people who played musical instruments, people who were into art or drama…and losers. All the groups, however undefined and amoebic could agree on that last one. Losers – the ones who didn’t fit in, weren’t worthy; were awkward, unfortunate-looking dorks with the personalities of freshly hocked phlegm.

The one thing all the losers in my school could agree on (despite their disaparate and widely varied qualification for being losers) was this – I was utterly beneath them.

I could sit and go through the hundreds of ways the consensus of my unworthiness was hammered home day after day after day, but the TL;DR version is ‘abuse sucks; bullies suck; school really sucked.’ The longer version you can catch never, or possibly piecemeal, in person.

My point is this – the Blogosphere has been (for me) a magical wonderland of the very antithesis of my school experience.

I’ve made friends, been included, had my experiences not only acknowledged, but accepted and related to. I’ve written my way into (whom I would consider) the upper echelons of fabulous writers, and largely feel that my place amongst those stars is validated by their insistence that I absolutely belong there. I’ve been complimented and complemented by fellow writers. I’ve had opportunities made available to me thanks to the way the Blogosphere levels the playing field: any member of society can belong…as long as they can write.

Is that the killer? Is that the thing which makes us remote and incomprehensible? Non-writers, people who aren’t into social media, people with busy lives, would probably struggle to comprehend the good in spilling your deepest darkest minutae over the internet. To actually take the pieces of your life and render them readable by strangers is anathema to a goodly number. On one hand I kinda get it, because the world (and especially the internet) can be a terrible place. On the other hand, the world (and the internet) is chock-full of really, amazingly wonderful human beings, and the chance to connect, in a very measured and cherry-picked kind of way with people who (in spite of their unfortunate geography) are your people.

We’re human. We’re tribal. And in a world where the busyness of each day seems to be actively trying to stop us building relationships with those around us, the Blogosphere enables connection in a deep, immediate, and intimate manner, with strangers who become friends. Those people become stalwart members of your life, and the fact you carry them around in your pocket on your phone, or only see them onscreen, makes no difference. Once you’ve hardwired your heart, it’s easy for people to plug in, reach into your world, and become functional, important factors.

If school was one of the things which broke me most, the Blogosphere is one of the things which has healed me most. It has connected me to people I’ve learned so much from, lived through so much with, and have loved. Still love. I’ve even met lots of them in person. I have plans to meet more. My life has been wonderously and irrevocably changed, and (because life is a series of stepping stones, and we only get to who and how we are now by going through all the things which went before) I am so very thankful for all the crap, and for wandering lost for so many years, because what has happened to me via the Blogosphere is absolutely and in every way COMPLETELY WORTH IT.

And really, that’s it – we write our souls onto the pages in hope that somewhere along the way, someone will read it, understand, and we will be found.

Pop on over to see what the originator, Clark, had to say about his sentence, and don’t forget to check out lovely Kristi, and everyone else in the link-up.

And FYI those two ^^^ made BIG, very real differences (in different ways). I’ve met them both. I love them both.


30 thoughts on “The Blogosphere Inequivalency

  1. Well, this is an interesting topic, Lizzi. I recall you being a part of The Sister Wives and that was a hot writing group 🙂 You flood posts with likes and shares, aw that’s the best way to make blog friends. Your life experience has definitely contributed to your writing style that I admire so much. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sadly, I’ve seen how the ‘sphere can be a bit too much like high school, which is a big reason I’ve drifted so far away from it. I have no desire to be involved in any drama, I have enough problems to worry about.

    I’m very happy for you that it has been a positive experience, and I’m also very glad to have met you through that experience. There are a handful of others I’ve met on this platform whom I cherish, but for the most part interacting with other bloggers has brought more pain than happiness…probably because I’m broken and so are the lot of us who pour our souls out through our words.

    I’m sorry to hear that your schooling experience sucked. Obviously your classmates had no clue how amazing you truly are.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. To this day I don’t know where I was in the grand scheme of things. I always felt invisible to talk to but visible enough to gossip about because that’s what everyone did, whether there was anything to gossip about or not. I was poor. I was shy. All I tried to do was not make eye contact to those I felt intimidated by, which was practically everybody. And yet, I had people who accepted me as one of them. We Fringe Walkers, who live outside the circle of all those who see us as losers, know what it is like to not be accepted, and I think that changes us in ways far earlier than that circle of “winners”. And they may never change. I am more accepting of others and their ways than I ever would have been had I been one of the inner circle. I don’t think I have many prejudices while many of the people I grew up with still do. Some of them still act the way they did in high school.
    What I know for sure is that you and I would have been friends had we gone to school together because you are exactly the type of person that either gravitated to me or I to them. I know this because I still do it. The outcast and underdogs are the ones I root for and love and make friends with. I love knowing that I would have found you back then, because I did (in a much bigger universe) here.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am immensely glad you found me here.
      I would have definitely been an underdog but I have changed a LOT since then. I had to do a lot of work on myself because I wasn’t really a nice person. I was in my shell and all edges. I could be very mean when I had the chance…. I would have loved a friend though, really and truly.
      I think you’re right. If there’s no need to adapt you can get stuck. If you have to adapt to survive that’s a skill you can take forward.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. …hey Kristi stop with the saying what I was gonna say before I could say it (and better, too)…

    I enjoyed your Post.

    But then I enjoy most of your posts.

    Of course, by ‘enjoy’ I mean ‘I identify with…’ and by ‘I identify with…’ I mean I benefit for the reading. This benefit is twofold: a) I know that someone else has experienced something that I have, 2) by virtue of being another clark, your experience offers an opportunity to gain an insight into my-own-self and, C) I get to write Comments like this that the real people writing and commenting at your blog* will scratch their heads and perhaps say, “Er Liz, this American chap, he’s harmless, no?”

    Because while I enjoy the playing with imagination and ways that we might see the world around us, no matter what, I nevertheless benefit from the exchange. I think I said something (in my post) that surprised me***
    [one’s}experience does not define the entire person’. My personal history, the social one inferred in this post, is not the summation of my potential. It is a description of choices I’ve made.
    Glad to to get together on this here ‘hop here… see ya on the circuit!

    *I’ve always admired** your ability to relate to people in such an accessible way that normal and real and regular people get enough from your posts to write fairly excellent comments

    **= been totally jealous of

    *** don’cha love that when it happens?

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I hate that high school was that way for you but love love love that blogging and online relationships have been the complete opposite. I know you’ve found tons of people in your tribe, who you love and love you back. I’m so glad to be one of them!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Me too. And thank you.
      I think part of the reason I love the friendships in the Blogosphere so much is because I put so much more value on them than if I didn’t know what it was to be totally friendless.


  6. YES!! I’m in tears reading this Lizzi. While I absolutely abhor that you had to endure such a horrible school experience, I LOVE that you have experienced the OPPOSITE online. Yes yes yes… what an incredible beautiful inspiring testimony to the internet’s ability to CONNECT hearts and FILL yours. I’m honored and so very very grateful we found each other here too… You are and always will be a cherished part of my life and YOU my love, are folded into the heart of my family too. (Do you know that Cade’s window STILL has your precious words on it?)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awwwwh I really love that. I am all the millions pleased I found you here in this world between the wires and that you found me as well and let me in. I am endlessly grateful for the huge impact you’ve made and are still making on me. Thank you forever for your friendship. I love you HUGE ❤️❤️❤️❤️


  7. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ This crazy writer/blogger world changed my life as well, YOU changed my life. I was often one of the odd ones out, a little to *me* for many of my classmates, I sometimes tried to play along, but grew weary of it quickly. Fast forward to taking that leap and starting my blog, finding you and you finding me back and everything since that day – so much more than simple acceptance . . . It seems I’ve lost the original thought I meant to share, no matter, this will have to suffice 😊 {{{loves to you}}}}

    Liked by 1 person

    • This made me smile so much.
      You were never too you for me. Just the perfect amount. And your writing was (and is still) beautiful. I am so happy to have come across a small and delightful sub-set of bloggers whose souls are poets first. I am SO glad we met. And still bummed I now know how close we were to Jesi that day.
      We’ll just all have to come back.
      Love you 😍😍😍


  8. Yep to own brand of snobbery. There’s that. LOL! As for blogging, it’s interesting, I do feel like I fit in just as I did in high school. It’s kind of just right. I haven’t pushed myself into anywhere or I haven’t stayed where I wasn’t comfortable. And people like me 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • They definitely do. I know I do.

      Yes I guess there truly is some snobbery but also it’s a wide and diverse enough set of groups to allow people to belong without their existence being blighted by having been outcast/not fitting in with a particular set.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. In High School, I think I could be classified among the misfits, a diverse collection of those in the “Not A ____” category, and odd balls like debaters, drama club-ers, and the subversive editors of the student literature collection. My experience in the Blogosphere has been much like yours, including many of the same people who dare to accept the Mad Hatter’s invitation to Tea. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehehe and what a wonderful tea party it is! Every day I can attribute some portion of loveliness to blogging. It has changed my entire world SO much for the better.
      And yeah, I guess we had the ‘not an anything else’ kids too. Less to live up to; more freedom to be yourself, I would imagine.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m so sorry that you ever felt that way. But I wonder if (like me) you’re now thankful for it because A) it made me who I am now (and I like her) and B) it gave me experiences that made me introspective and in the long run, probably a better writer…

    Either way, I feel very lucky to have met you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutely. I am a HUGE believer in stepping stones, and if hadn’t gone through what I did, I wouldn’t be here today. I literally wouldn’t be in Hasty’s kitchen in OKC… and that thought isn’t worth entertaining…so yes. I hated living it, but I am SO fine with where it took me.
      I am thankful I met you. You’re one of my wise ones. You’ve helped me on my way to now, and I am just so glad of you xoxox 😗😗😗


  11. I’m not a fan of these blogging prompts anyway, Lizzi, but I would never advise engaging with this particular sentence-stem unless High School was a *total* blast and you t-totally loved it. Otherwise it can only make it tougher to blog because any residual negative feelings would unconsciously creep into your feelings about blogging and color it darkly. My two cents anyway.
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to transform a world!

    Liked by 1 person

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