I’d kind of like to do this all in an aside; a great big stage whisper into your ear, with the knowledge that I can be overheard and a slight twinkle in my eye that I know it, you know it, and everyone else listening in knows it, but that we all ALSO know that what I’m saying isn’t really meant to be overheard, and are all complicit in maintaining the facade that I *really* just whispered in your ear and no-one else is any the wiser.
Even though we all absolutely are.
Anyway, imagine me whispering.
Something about an intrigue makes it all the more exciting, don’t you think?
If we’re careful and figure out a way, we can make magic, and I’ve encountered it in abundance this week, in tiny, veryverysmall spaces (ok, and a couple of larger ones) and it’s given me a set of new perspectives to try out and focus on.
There was the magic of receiving a most beautiful glitterbomb full of gorgeous presents from my darling friend Kristi, who is one of my longest-standing and most loved friends here in the World Between the Wires. She’s been there for me through some AWFUL times, and there in some of my best ever times, and she’s there in my in-between times, and I’m so, SO grateful for her thoughtfulness, humour, and care. Her gift made me smile, then laugh out loud, for the first time in what felt like a LONG time, and I think that was the beginning of the undoing of the darkness.
A constant magic (couple of magics (can you even HAVE a couple of magics?)) I’m thankful for is (/are) my family, who provide solace and comfort and inspiration and such HOPE, as well as the more material aspects of looking-after and making-better and sharing a gazillion moments of shining loveliness, connectedness and deep,deep love.
I saw a flower. Unremarkable, really, except it was one of a few spots of pink in a sea of dew-dropped green. It was something lovely to look at and focus on during the sunny morning of a clinic on the third day of headachey lacklustreness, and I was thankful. I crouched down and took a (not brilliant) pic of it, but just knowing that I HAD found something beautiful and worthwhile sharing a pic of, was a LOVELY #RainbowMoment for me, and made me think I must be making some kind of comeback.
I had ideas for writing. Didn’t actually write, but the thoughts were there, so I know I’ve not lost it *entirely*. I probably won’t try to stage-whisper any future posts (and I imagine if I really was, for real, your ear would be all tickly by now from hearing so much) BUT it’s fun to consider What Next.
I’ve been VERY thankful for the Facebook Memories thing, because a YEAR AGO, I was in Murica, meeting my people and falling utterly in love with the country and my friends. I’ve LOVED seeing the photos again and it’s been a time of beautiful, bittersweet nostalgia and MISSING THEM SO SO MUCH ❤ (and I heard back some heartening news from the college director, who is still ALL FOR me coming over to study and wants to find ways forward on the visa front – SO reassuring to know he hasn’t given up on me in spite of all the tanglyawful red tape).
I sent glitterbombs and THEY ARRIVED and made people (like my Abbie) happy, which made me VERY happy. So there was HUGE happiness in that. I have two more glitterbombs to pack and send imminently. That makes me happy too. And I’ve arranged an INCREDIBLY twinklysparkly surprise, which might be quite the best thing ever. So there’s that. And it’s all because Love, which is even, even better.
Mary, Chris and I have an ongoing love affair. Two love affairs in fact – one with each other (we’re QUITE the winsome threesome), and one with CAKE, which we all love and wish there could be more of (without the impact of, yaknow, the after-effects of actually EATING it). Anyway. My constant bane is that sad, lip-trembling upset of knowledge that Good Vegan Cake is hard to come by and usually aspensive and far away. I discovered a local Vegan Bakery, which looks AWESOME…but aspensive. HOWEVER Mum, wonder that she is, has found a VERY local cafe which sells vegan chocolate cake. So we’re going to try it out this weekend. YAY!
My very most wonderful friend Mr B, made a FILM about bikers who protect children who are witnesses in abuse trials. These bikers do HUGE good work, and Mr B’s film is getting AWESOME FEEDBACK and is starting to get him noticed in the world of movie-making, which is amazing, incredible, and I’m SO proud of him for a) highlighting such an amazing bunch of people, and b) putting it together and making the film HAPPEN. He’s had this dream for a long time, and I’m so happy that things are finally starting to shape up for him. I’m so glad to be able to watch as his hard work comes into fruition.
I got inspired by a kind-of-asideways comment from another blogger, that a way to make change happen is through BOOKS, which, duh, but also BIG DUH, because when I thought about the amorphous and delightful concept that is ‘writing a book’, I always considered fiction or creative non-fiction, as the way forward. Bitter experience tells me I have little-to-no stickability with an idea, that my ideas don’t marry up or follow through, and that at the first sign of criticism I pack the whole thing in and give up entirely. I think I’m not the kind of writer who creates a world you can immerse yourself in, and I wonder if that’s because (for better or for worse) I’m so thoroughly immersed in sharing the world inside my head. One of the things the world inside my head likes to do is to try to encourage people to DO things which embetter their world, or other people’s, somehow. So perhaps THAT is the way forward. Maybe. Not sure how it would look, or what I’d write that’s different from any of the other bazillion books out there already, BUT it’s a germ of an idea, and one I rather like. I’d like it if I wrote something that made a difference.
I like being able to make a difference. It might just be my ‘thing’ 🙂 I kind of like that idea. Embettering, however it happens to make it work at the time. That would be good.
ANYWAY…I’ve whispered in your ear for long enough! What has your week held that’s worth talking about? Tell me 🙂
*explodes into a puff of of sparkly confetti, and mysteriously disappears, leaving only a grin*