Ten Things of Thankful 159 (On Encouragement) #10Thankful

Encouragement is *such* a powerful thing. It requires connection, demands communication, and deepens the relationship between two beings. It happens in the animal kingdom, but I think it happens far more beautifully between humans, where (possibly) so many more nuances can be appreciated.

This week I have had HUGE cause to be thankful for encouragement, both in the times I’ve been able to offer it, and in the times I’ve been on the receiving end. To those people who took the time to stop and find space in their day to encourage me, I am SO grateful. Each time, I’ve felt as though connections have been strengthened, and the relationships have been imbued with the richness and depth which comes from their nurturing.

It’s not always the case that the more you put in, the more you get out (as my boxing coach used to say), because sometimes people (and relationships) are bottomless pits, and you could throw in the whole world and not hear it touch the sides on the way down. I always think that when relationships break down, unless there has been gross misunderstanding, there is a damn good reason for it, even if it’s not pleasant to admit at the time.

On the other hand, where relationships work, each added drop of encouragement, nurture, input, whatever, is like adding water to a pool, keeping it filled to the brim and crystal clear – able to overflow and bless others with the delight of a human being doing what humans are designed to do (we’re a social species; we’re made for relationship – we thrive there).

I sometimes wonder if I’m a bit of a hopeless case because I do so very BADLY on my own. It used to be worse, I admit, and thanks to the input of friends-and-relations, I am less likely to go off the deep end when I feel my connections have disappeared. I am less inclined to decide I’ve done something horrendous, or that I didn’t deserve the connections in the first place. I am becoming confident in the idea that I matter, because I’ve seen the concept backed up, time and time again by the wonderful, giving, encouraging, patient people I’m surrounded by.

Thankful for Encouragement - summat2thinkon.wordpress.com

I won’t name and fame, because I want to share the encouragements I’ve so appreciated this week, but to know these moments were just between whichever ‘us’ it was, and that I cherish each and every one of these.

❤ THANK YOU for letting me come round and be grumpy and sulky and irritated with EVERYTHING, and not mind that I was in a bad mood. We cooked, we laughed, you let me stay later than either of us thought. You gave me the borrow of dry clothes, and you knew exactly how to cheer me up on a day when the rain had most utterly quashed my spirits. Whatever the weather, know that I’m devoted to you, and I hope that not a thing will come between us.

❤ THANK YOU for trusting me so very deeply, and for the privilege of being someone who matters a lot to you. I love that I’ve been able to support and encourage you back. I love that I know I can trust you. I love our friendship, and how we’re both becoming more ourselves and just…more, and that so much positive change in each of us is attributable to the strength and vitality of our connection. Thank you for loving me in my darkness and in my light, and for letting me love you anyway, in yours. I love that you’re in my everyday; I hope it’s for always.

❤ THANK YOU for sending me music, which is still surprising me with new tracks I didn’t know where included, and introducing me to new bands which I *love*, and providing me with songs which I can use to tell people things when I can’t say it so well myself. I’ve just spent about 20 minutes looking back through old posts trying to find the one I’m thinking of to show you…but I can’t find it. The essence is that for SO long, I’ve relied on music to help convey my emotions when I feel inept or incapable or as though music will somehow be more acceptable than whatever I might have to say. I’m learning that in many cases, what I have to say is something which is welcomed, but I still love sending music when it fits. Thank you for such deep and wonderful, meaningful connection, and for just KNOWING.

❤ THANK YOU for always, always trying to find the good in people and bring situations around to ways they can be moved forwards for the best of all concerned. I so appreciate your excellent example of choosing to behave in ways which build people up. I am HUGELY thankful for all the ongoing efforts you make on my behalf, and the ways you cheer me on every day. Thank you for your wisdom (which I so often recycle) and your preference for giving people the benefit of the doubt. You’re a Wonder.

❤ THANK YOU for sharing such beautiful, important moments on your journey as you take charge of yourself and grow into the person you want to be – the you who you’re happier being. I am so happy to see the little moments of victory, of forward movement, of steps towards a better future, and I SO want that future for you – it’s beautiful, and I feel privileged to witness your transformation. Thank you for your friendship and your insistence that I’m part of your future. All the purple hearts to you.

❤ THANK YOU for your parcel, with its wonderful contents of such, SUCH beautiful encouragement on a day when I really needed it (cosmic timing, I think). I’ve loved your words since I’ve known you, and I’m so touched that you thought of me and sent me your thoughts and explanations, and an ENORMOUS dose of encouragement not to give up on my dreams. I will keep dreaming, and keep doing, and thank you, thank you, thank you.

❤ THANK YOU for reaching out, when I haven’t (because *shamefaced* sometimes I’m not good at keeping up) and for your CONSTANT, longstanding encouragement and ‘being FOR me’, and so much LOVE. I know you’ve been snowed under with life, and I really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and keep our connection going. You’ve been someone who has seen (and helped) SO much change in me, and I love that you’re still so much a part of my world and my being, even if we’re frustrated by our inability to connect as much as we used to.

❤ THANK YOU for challenging me to step outside of my comfort zone, and for thinking me beautiful and worth encouraging. I love your determined sparkliness and the way you’ve decided to take charge of your life, your thoughts, and your attitude. I so appreciate the chance to read your thoughts, to see how RIGHT you’re getting it, and for the way you want to bring everyone up with you in your quest to be your best self. I’m glad I had help to meet your challenge, and I’m glad I took part. I am so pleased you think I sparkle, too, and that I’m worth your while.

❤ THANK YOU for your love in 9-second increments, and how you never fail to make me grin, just at the sound of your voice and your exuberance. I am always and forever delighted that you’re part of my world, that we’re hardwired, linked and inked together as friends for always. I am ENORMOUSLY thankful for the ways your You-ness has connected with and supported my Me-ness, and how we’ve both walked a path of becoming so much more comfortably Ourselves. Your timing this week was *brilliant*.

❤ THANK YOU for the things of your everyday, and for being part of my every day. For so often being my first and my last. For being my supporter, my BS-caller, my cynic, my muse. For wanting to know the things of my every day, and for all the days and all the things. For being one of the first people I really trusted, and for proving beyond shadow of a doubt that I mattered, and you wanted me. Thank you that I still matter to you, and for still wanting me. The feeling is entirely, deeply, wonderfully mutual. And…hi.

And thank you, to ye who read this, in spite of its deliberate obliqueness, because in spite of the obfuscation, you know these things have made a difference to me this week, and THAT is the thing we’re here to celebrate, as a community – the things which made a difference in each of our weeks, which made them wonderful, workable, or livable-through.

Thank YOU for being here, for being part of this.

Thank you, for all the connection.

P.S. Happy 4th July to all Muricans celebrating it this weekend. In recognition of your heritage of willful determination to wander off and do your own thing, I’ve extended the linkie an extra day to the 5th July, so you have PLENTY of time to join in.

 

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44 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful 159 (On Encouragement) #10Thankful

  1. I am currently working through my mood swing of ‘all my so called friends are not really friends at all’ and that its clearly something about me.

    Or maybe – maybe I’ve been that doormat so long that it’s time to stop apologising every time something happens and say ‘no, actually, fuck off, its you.’.

    Sorry – randomly wandered into your space and found, as always, words I could connect with.

    YOU attract good friends who stand with you and support you. Good for you. Keep at it. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • There’s always room for improvement, and even today I had reiterated how crappy of a friend I can be, and acknowledged that yes, I’m every bit as much of a letdown as anyone else, so…I think maybe it’s where you’re at with those people. We can all be alright, or we can be shitty, or other people can be either…

      Luck of the draw combined with circumstances combined with all sorts of complicated factors which I guess in the end add up to a point of making changes or accepting the point of no return. Sometimes it IS other people though. The brain makes patterns to make sense of things, even if a pattern doesn’t *actually* exist.

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  2. Oh, such beautiful words and thank yous! Encouragement is such a powerful thing. At the right moment, it can spur us on to great heights!
    Hope you’re well. Just wanted to pop over for a moment and say hello. Taking a little breather today as we’re visiting family and chillin’ in the hotel room. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • HELLOOOOOO! I hope you’re well and hope you’re doing well, and that all manner of things are well with you, dear heart. It’s so nice to be a bit more in touch, even if only through blog comments. That’s why they’re where the magic happens, I guess 😉

      Encouragement is ENORMOUSLY powerful. I was thinking today (because of a book I was reading, which had in it about astrologers and children being labelled, and self-fulfilling prophecies, and I thought to myself, if ONLY those astrologers took the opportunity to purvey the GOOD, rather than the negatives, even if it’s hokum (even if it’s not) – how much DIFFERENTLY things could turn out!

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  3. This is exactly what you are so good at–forming connections, making others feel important and valued, sharing sparkly goodness! Thank you for all your efforts!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love doing it. They (the wonderous ‘They’, who always seem to get quoted) suggest finding your passion and doing it, is the thing which will give you fulfillment and happiness in life. If mine is forming and nurturing connections and valuing others and sharing *twinklysparklygoodness*, I can think of no finer thing 😀

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  4. You deserve everything good Lizzi. Remember to remind yourself of that….often.
    You are by nature a compassionate, giving person. You have an imagination that is unique and a talent for writing.
    I’ve never ascribed to the “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”. F that. Doesn’t make sense. I want you to have the cake and to eat the cake Lizzi but I know how often, despite our individual talents, we need a lift, a little push, a little acknowledgement to keep that one foot stepping ahead of the other.
    I’m glad you have so many to help you do this. I hope they know how lucky they are to know you. I do 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhhhh *still* not good with that D word, but thank you 🙂

      I hope we DO get to have our cake and eat it too, just SOMETIMES would be nice. For all of us. That’s what I’d wish for – for us all to have a blessed handful of days where we just GET it. But yes, we all need a lift, a push, a shove, a kick in the backside, and the painful face of reality if we DON’T, to keep us going.

      I feel lucky to be blessed by each of my friends. So lucky to have people who have chosen me and who stick by me, and want to be part of my world. So SO glad you’re part of my world, and I am exceedingly glad you’re also part of my Real 🙂

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  5. And thank YOU, for always being there ANY TIME I should need your love and encouragement. No matter how much time goes by, I KNOW I have you in my life and in my heart- always, forever.

    I love us, no matter how much time goes by. Through all the currents that take us in various directions, I know that always- we are anchored to one another. ❤

    *I'm so proud of you and incredibly HONORED to be your friend and sister in this lifetime.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You do, you SO VERY DO! We’re absolutely linked, I hope in this world and the next, and I love the idea that we get to share our triumphs, our frustrations, our peaks and troughs, and still be FOR one another, even though the involvement ebbs and flows. I am so, SO thankful for you, Kitty, and all of the wonderful ways you’ve influenced me and helped my understanding and just BEEN THERE for me, so much. I love you. I love us.

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  6. * my fav thing being identification, as in, ‘to identify with another’ because the benefits are mutually independently available without the need to exchange ‘like for like’. (Sounding harsher than it is, the idea (for me) is that I benefit from your triumphs and I benefit from witnessing your un-successes because I know how it feels. And it is a not dependent on your reciprocating or validation…. it’s just because.
    so, purely for my own enjoyment, I’ll say, ‘Thank you.’

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heheh I like that you say these [whichever they are at the time] things and they just make SUCH sense to me. I mean, they would, but it’s nice to have it affirmed. Slight rogerian aspect coming out of hiding there, maybe.

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    • Well…you’re very welcome, and I’m very pleased it was a nudge you’ve taken on board and appreciated having. I know these things can sometimes come across as preachy or demanding, but I do think that thankfulness is something we SO benefit from attempting, *especially* when we’re in adverse circumstances or are feeling decidedly ungrateful about the day.

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  7. Happy fourth you honorery Murican. I haven’t been around much, sorry but am super glad others have and youve found and always find such good things in giving and receiving the intangibles.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awwwh Happy 4th. I hope you have a good one, and I hope you get to celebrate and enjoy the day. And…we play Words With Friends…I feel as though I know you’re there, if that makes sense…we’re still connected.

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    • Ohhh thanks so much, Gulara…it’s one of my favourite things to do; spread light and love (and glitter) whenever possible, and if I can encourage others to do the same then so much the better!

      Liked by 1 person

    • I know, and I couldn’t *couldn’t* put all of the words into words, but just some of them which matter, but I love you hugely dearly and THANK YOU for being such a wonderful friend ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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