Quirky, am I?

When I mentioned to WonderAunty that Dana’s latest link-up required me to list the ways I’m quirky, she grinned a glinty-eyed kind of grin (the kind I often grin), and she laughed under her breath. It was the kind of glinty-eyed grin I could have taken affront to (had I not known that she loves me completely and only wants good things for me) as it had ‘overtones’. Mum’s reaction was almost identical. Apparently my nearest and dearest have such knowledge of the breadths and depths of my quirkiness, it goes without saying…but not without being giggled at.

YOU, my lovelies, may or may not know something of my quirkiness. WonderAunty (shortly after the aforementioned conversation) pinged me an email with a link to an online dictionary which defined ‘Quirky’ as “We all know her – the one with pink hair…”

Quirky - summat2thinkon.wordpress.com

 

SC: And that pissed you off, didn’t it? To be so easily and transparently pegged as ‘one who is quirky’ because of that ridiculous pink fringe of yours. And by an ONLINE DICTIONARY, at that! Something utterly generic has you slotted neatly into a weirdo-shaped hole, with every other self-professed non-conformist who ever attempted to un-mundanify their existence with bleach and a bottle of cheap dye, and that really pissed you off. You’re quirky alright – just like the rest of them.

Um…Hi, Sub-Conscious…you’re back. You didn’t get kinder while you were gone then?

SC: *feigns surprise* Yes! Look at that! I’m *back*. How utterly unexpected I must be. I’m sure my presence here is in no way related to you attempting to demonstrate your quirkiness to your ‘dear readers’ (how many even bother with you now, I wonder?) because you have absolutely no way of putting your bizarre personality into words in a way which won’t make you sound like a complete nutcase.

Thanks for that. To be honest, I was doing perfectly well until you showed up, and could continue to do perfectly well should you take it to your head to sling your hook.

SC: Seeing as I’m IN *your* head, it’s hardly likely, is it? Besides, I’ve missed being able to show your ‘lovelies’ what goes on beneath the surface of your ‘oh so pretty, don’t you paint a luvverly picture with your words’ posts. Which, by the way, whatEVER! Who do you even write them for? The kind people who’ll bother to comment? The ones who share it on social media and make you feel like you created something worthwhile? The people who used to read you and now don’t have time for you, hoping that they might come back and decide you’re worth bothering with again? It’s surely not for yourself, is it? Otherwise you’d write all your *twinklysparklybullshit* in a journal someplace it didn’t need anyone else’s validation…

This is a piece about my quirks, if you don’t mind. And shut up if you can’t say anything nice. Which you can’t ever, so if you could shut up FORever, I’d be grateful.

SC: Wouldn’t THAT be convenient. Ha! Quirks then, seeing as even your colleagues have you pegged as ‘quirky’, and it’s gotten you in hot water with them more than once. “People sometimes don’t know how to take you” – wasn’t that said? “She just hasn’t got used to you the way we all have…” – and that. TRANSLATION – you’re a fucking loon and don’t know how to ‘people’ without being face to face so that the poor sod you’re interacting with can SEE you’re a fucking loon and use their ‘bloody hell, here we go’ mental filter to understand you.

I was going to say something about glitter…

SC: Yeah – craft herpes – and the way you scatter pestilence and sparkling filth over your poor unfortunate friends, who then have to clear the damn stuff up every time they hear from you. It’s cute in a toddler but you’re nearly 33, for goodness sake. Is THAT a quirk? Trying to be cute with things little kiddies do, when you’re meant to be a grown-up? Are you making it ‘retro-cool’? No! Loon.

…or blankets…

SC: Wonderful! Tell everyone how you spend every minute you can wrapped up in some disgusting fleecy thing probably last washed when the Israelites found the Promised Land. Or how you got nicknamed ‘pink slug’ after being relentlessly coccooned day in and day out. THERE’S an attractive quality in a grown-up – a blanket addiction. Perhaps you’d like to regress to thumb-sucking, too?

…or naps…

SC: Probably a bad idea to boast about how exhausted you make yourself by staying up too late, which enables you to nap inside tiny moments. Not to mention the ridiculous amounts of carbs you consume late at night and try to pretend doesn’t happen. You’re running on empty half the time, no WONDER you damn well nap.

…or veganism…

SC: Great, now the entire vegan community will troll the shit out of you for reducing a responsible, mindfully-made life-choice to a ‘quirk’. Whatever is wrong with you, it’s no small thing.

The more you know, sometimes the less you wish you knew - summat2thinkon.wordpress.com

FINE! Tell me, then, seeing as you’re so all-knowing – how do YOU think I’m quirky?

SC: This is assuming I choose to look at ‘quirks’ as something charmingly off-kilter and a little bit adorable, rather than something which might get you locked up, like the way you have a semi-constant flow of self-narrative running in your head the whole damn time? Or how you have to wipe your hands on a ‘safe’ fabric if you touch one you don’t like the feel of? Or how it actually upsets you to accidentally open packets upside down?

Yes…the charming one, if you please.

SC: Your determination that #LoveWins and your insistence on living life in #SilverLinings (always hashtagged, weirdo) are vaguely charming I suppose, but…nope. I got nothing.

THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN…?

SC: Let’s make no bones about it – you’re quirky – *some* people probably do find you adorable or charming, and I’m sure you propagate it by writing *littlesparklythingsinstars* and going around blessing their boots, but don’t you think it’s time to grow up a bit? Get a bit of a grip? You write pretty things and send glitterbombs and I’m sure it’s all very nice, but where does it really GET you? You make some friends. You matter a bit to people who otherwise would never have known you. Big fucking deal. All this obsession with writing, with connecting, with damn well meaning something to someone (or anyone) whose geography is utterly and irretrievably at odds with your own…what does it actually achieve? Surely you’d be better taking a look around you, like you keep saying, and living in the NOW – enjoy the people you’re with. Spend time with them. Stop obsessing about how much you’re missing out and look at what you’re included IN. Knuckle down, do some actual work for once, instead of skating by on the least you can do, and perhaps THEN you’ll get somewhere.

*sulkily* Ten Things of Thankful is a good thing. That matters. That makes a difference. So does 1000Speak.

SC: Neither of those came from quirks, though, did they? They DO matter. They make a difference and are meaningful to people but you can hardly claim ownership, or even that you’re integral to either, now they have their own communities and operate under their own steam…as they should, because unlike YOUR little slice of egocentricity (as I know you like to call your ‘niche’), they’re bigger than you. Gratitude and compassion are inherently Good Things, not quirks you manifested.

So you’re leaving me with, what? Pink hair (like every other weirdo) and blessing people’s boots?

SC: Pretty much. Any attempt to distill the bizarre charm of your personality, wit, or humour, into anything more comprehensible than an Arabic translation of Dostoyevsky, via a group of Montessori 3 year-olds, will surely fall short. People will just have to meet you in person.

BRING IT ON!

SC: I just thought of one – you’re melodramatic in the extreme and tend to scream whilst you’re cooking.

Oh shut up…

SC: You wore a tiara home from ‘Murica and cried the entire way

Seriously, stop now…

SC: You think you’re good at accents and are not-so-secretly crap at all of them, even your own.

Okay, we’re done. 

SC: You’re socially inept and utterly oblivious to it a lot of the time. COME ON I’M WARMING UP NOW!

This post is over. Finished. No more. Goodbye.

SC: You suck.

YOU suck.

SC: You also argue with yourself…

I hate you.

SC: Shoes and hats?

Okay. THAT one we can agree on. Shoes and hats. The funkier or rainbowier the better.

7b370-jazzyrocketdogshoes

This was part of Dana’s ‘Who Am I‘ series, co-hosted by Bev. Feel free to pop over and read the other entries for March (ignoring, if you will, that this piece was technically submitted in April (TimeZoned, Late, Lazy…whatevs) and join in next (this) month.

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61 thoughts on “Quirky, am I?

  1. Today, you are you, that is truer thank true. There is no one alive that is youer than you. (Not taking credit – that’s my second favorite Doctor, Seuss.). You SC is a mean bastard – I’m glad you’ve taken to defending yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If I could pull off that pink hair and not have it fade on me in a week, I would totally do it.
    I saw someone wrote in the comments that being grown up is overrated. Totally is! Even though by some definitions I would be considered a “grown up” I still have yet to feel like I’m one. Perhaps that’s a quirk in and of itself? Or maybe no grown up ever really feels that way?
    By the way, SC deserves a smack on its head 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • SC is a pain in the ass (or the brain) and I haven’t entirely managed to quell him yet, but I’m working on it 🙂

      I’m glad you’re another person who doesn’t feel properly ‘grown up’ – maybe we never do, and that’s the secret of getting through every age – we’re all just big kids making it up as we go along.

      And…the pink fades, but if you get a good dye, it fades prettily into a colour I like to call ‘sunset ginger’. I decided a long time ago that life was too short, and too long, not to do something funky with my hair. And I’m really glad I did. I’d recommend it to anyone.

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  3. Pingback: Best blogs of the week – 8 April | Shoebox of memories

  4. You ARE adorable and charming, and that doesn’t mean “not grown up.” Growing up is overrated, anyway.
    Your SC is a dick, by the way.
    And I love those rainbow colored sneakers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can’t wait to get back into the rainbow shoes. Roll on summer! And thank you – I’d like to think I have some redeeming qualities though right this second I’m hard-pushed to believe any of them.

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    • I’m doing my best, Mo – lots has changed in the last few years, and my determination to love (and be loved (maybe one day even by myself)) has become ever stronger, and my anxiety and insecurities have weakened their grip, only raising their heads above the parapet every now and again.

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  5. This was really well done, but I can’t “like” it because it makes me so sad that SC is so horribly mean to you. We ALL have our quirks and craziness, some more obvious, some less, but we have them just the same. And we all worry about what others would think if they knew us truly well. My A-Z post for today says it very well… you are beautiful just as you are, love yourself, all of it, embrace it. Life isn’t easy and you are doing ok, muddling thru it right along with the rest of us! HUGS

    Liked by 1 person

    • *HUGS* I muddle, sometimes in a more muddly manner than others, but always through. I sometimes feel like life is a bit of a ramble – open fields and sunshine, then forays through deep woodland, brambles, and swamps. It’s been a bit of a mixture at the moment but in the middle of the muddle, I guess I’m still mostly okay, and getting okayer as time goes by. My SC is a lot quieter these days, which is a huge relief 🙂

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  6. Very creative way of approaching this prompt, Lizzi, although your self conscience can suck it. We all have quirks, weird and charming. I’m not a rainbow shoes kind of gal, but I love that you are and that you totally own it. And I would spend all day wrapped in a blanket if I could.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yup, my friends have stuck the label of Quirky on my forehead too. Sometimes I don’t catch on that they’re thinking that. Like the time my friend came to pick me up and I wasn’t quite ready. I was outside on cold paving slabs in my bare feet and I did a high-kick to show her, saying, “Look, no shoes!” “Do that again” she said. So I did. “Is it so that you can see how flexible I am?” “Nah, I just like how you have to prove you’re not ready.”

    Liked by 1 person

  8. SC is such a prick. I mean, he’s kinda sorta funny but he’s a gigantic ASSSHOLE! I like your pink hair and that you wore a tiara home from the US and cried the whole time. I like your accent and thought your Indian one was pretty good. So there, SC.

    Liked by 1 person

    • *grins* I suppose it makes sense that my ‘Indian’ accent is reasonable, because I live in a city with a high proportion of Asian people…that said I think my accent is probably a caricature of Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi…

      Yeah he’s an asshole, but so can I be. And I’m glad you like my pink hair and that I wore the tiara. And as others have said – the crying means the connections were real and important, and they truly are 🙂

      Like

  9. I’m almost scared to like this post as it’s bordering on terrifying! It reads like your subconscious is more self-destruct if left unchecked. Good to see so many commenters having your back!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m afraid he’s been a lot worse in times gone by. Channels a weird distillation of someone who used to treat me much the same way, for too many years. I’m very lucky to finally be getting through the lies and BS, and coming out the other side.

      But yes, also SO lucky to have friends rallying around me – if I say that the connections I’ve made in this World Between the Wires, have kept me alive and in many ways helped me become the person I am today, it’s no exaggeration. (I *do* tend to come off better than I did here, though 😉 )

      Liked by 1 person

    • \oo/_ *happysighs* Ahhhhhh my BW, you make me feel so much more okay about me than I do on my own. SC’s an asshole but he hasn’t been bugging me for a while, which I’m pleased about. He’s gone again today – turned to echoes 🙂 ❤ ❤

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  10. The SC is as quirky as the person I love, Lizzi. You need the pink hair on the outside to show the inside. Put that SC voice into a box of glitter. That’ll teach her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • *SNORKS* Now THAT would be hilarious. I’d love to do that!

      (A long time ago, I got sent a glitterbomb and it exploded all over my bed, and as I swept the glitter up, it seemed the most obvious thing in the world to kiss it, and take a glittery-lipped duckface selfie…I *nearly* used it in this post hehehe) ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Okay, little SC…just back off! Lizzi is my friend and she’s amazing!
    Doesn’t everyone scream whilst cooking?
    I love getting glitter bombs from you.
    If being quirky means loving unconditionally, seeing the positive side of situations (YES you do, don’t argue with me!!) and blesses people’s boots…well then, quirky = awesome.
    I kept wanting to smack that SC, but as YOU have taught me…she’s probably hurting, and lashing out at you is all she knows. Be kind to yourself, Love…you are the only you we have and we love you. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awwwh Michelle this made me feel so glowy and happy and…my SC is a long-instilled remnant of a horrid past, but he’s loosening his grip, which is wonderful, and he’s not as consistently heard.

      You scream whilst cooking? AWESOME! I kind of hope you do, because I’d love to have that in common with you. Don’t tell me, if you don’t, and I can just pretend ^-^

      I’m glad you loved your glitterbomb. I want to get back into the habit of sending them. I’ve fallen sadly astray in the maelstrom of moving house and changing name and getting divorced and blah blah blah.

      And…I love how you see me. I just…wow ❤ thank you ❤

      Like

  12. Although this was a totally different person speaking, about many different things, it felt oddly familiar to me, like I was thinking it.
    Some would say I am “quirky”, odd, as in the relationship between my brother and me is an odd one, a strange thing, if they witnessed us, like yesterday for example.
    We laugh at our own private jokes and the special experiences we’ve shared, that nobody else would understand.
    Whatever that was, it kept us laughing non stop.
    I have my own SC talking to me all the time about how my own brother and my family accept me, but that the world at large only sees me as some blind girl when I am out in it and how I can’t change that or make them see me as anything else.
    My brother and I wrote our song in the hopes that we can one day make a living for ourselves, so we don’t feel like we are always going to depend on others to support us, as it isn’t so easy sometimes, but we are secretly afraid we will never find acceptance.
    Also, I have had to get over my own issue with opening things up-side-down, as I can’t see when I am doing it, but I can see where you are coming on that.
    Oh, and although I already knew all about and felt gratitude and compassion before I met you and found 1000Speak and TToT, you showed me so much more I could do with both. You are the reason I feel as connected with those things…yes, the communities that go along with them, but you are a big part of that. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well…that last bit’s kind of awesome for me on a personal level, because I guess the things I started have made a real difference to you, which is wonderful, and I’m glad you feel that the two communities and constructs have extended what you already knew and practiced 🙂

      I never even THOUGHT about how much more complex it must be to try to keep things right-side-up when you can’t see them. And now a thought has occurred to me – is it obvious from Braille if it’s upside down? Does it all turn into nonsense or does some of it make sense still but backwards?

      I love that you and your brother have such a close bond, and that you’re working together to try to create a better future for yourselves. I think that’s an important thing – to invest in your own independence in ways which are meaningful to you.

      And quite honestly, if there’s someone in your life (and by ‘your’, I mean in the general ‘anyone’ sense) who makes you laugh and laugh and laugh, that’s WONDERFUL and a person well worth hanging onto.

      Like

  13. I don’t find you that quirky, but maybe that’s because it’s coming from someone who won’t let her food touch and picks up her underpants with her toes and flings them into the laundry basket every morning and who sometimes wears a coolie hat when writing….

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Fuck SC. I am in a blanket as we speak, love your pink hair, smile every time you say “bless your boots” to me or anyone, love that you wore a tiara home and cried the whole way because it meant the connection was real for both of us (I know it wasn’t all about me but this is my comment) think it’s commendable that you’re a strict vegan when most just are in front of other people, want to have you glitter star bomb me daily and what else? Oh yeah. I love you. Quirky or unquirky. You’re stuck with me. Always. So tell SC I said, go fuck yourself. And enjoy it because I do. Wait. What? I’m just kidding. Who said that? Don’t be blue. You’re a star. A big bright shiny pink one. I’ve had wine. You know how that affects me. ❤️🍷⭐️⭐️⭐️

    Liked by 2 people

    • *giggling* I love you anyway Squishy, but I love your lack of inhibition on wine. You really are marvellous. ❤

      I'm wrapped in a (different, because I put the other one in the wash) blanket as I type this, and today I'm content with my pink hair and various quirks. I sent post twice this week, I glitterbombed a friend In Real, and I'm most definitely vegan on purpose (because WHY would anyone bother with it unless they had strong convictions (and a dairy allergy), because CHEESE AND CHOCOLATE AND CAKE (and, for me, hot toast with butter *sigh*). I miss those things but can't un-think the things I learned which make me want to not.

      As for the crying, the connection was DEFINITELY veryveryreal and still is, and though I'm less weepy about it these days, I still miss you HUGE and can't wait to see you again and hug you and talk music and beaches and dancing.

      Like

  15. Oh, S.C., lighten up already Oh, FIRST – Actually, your conversations with SC are pretty quirky, but then so are most people’s, except the ones that are insanely flattering or horribly abusive. Those are cute shoes. BTW, what do you scream about while cooking? Anyway, just remember that whatever SC might say, Wonder Auntie and Mum know all your quirks past and present, and they love you totally. The rest of us will just have consider their example. reblogging

    Liked by 1 person

    • *snorks* My SC is something of a bitchy queen (can’t imagine who he takes after!) and my conversations with him vary from mildly amusing to horribly abusive. Fortunately he was in a reasonably equitable mood tonight.

      The rainbow shoes are GORGEOUS and I love them completely. Can’t wait for summer to arrive so I can wear them again.

      I scream when I cook because I seem to invariably drop something on the floor or have some kind of sudden mishap, which surprises me and makes me scream with either shock or frustration (FYI – the people who have lived with me for any length of time don’t even notice any more because it’s so commonplace)

      Liked by 2 people

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