It hasn’t been a cheerful week I haven’t been cheerful this week.
In spite of many and varied efforts by a number of wonderful people, my low mood (explainable, understandable, still unmanageable) has persisted and I have lacked even the energy to call it an ‘ordeal’* and take notes, thereby redeeming it a little. So I remain, this Good Friday, unredeemed. Yet (I am determined) not unredeemable.
So, as requested (beseechingly) by WonderAunty, and because it will do more good for my soul than anything else I can scrape from a week where it all just ‘was as it was’ and I had to try to make the best of it, and I will try to make better the rest of it. So even though I didn’t do very well at any ‘best’ in the week, here’s hoping this list of cheerful moments will (because one must always try to remain focused on the positives) go some way to realigning the balance. I’d also like if it made you smile or think or ponder or…well, a really lovely thing would be if you shared one of YOUR cheerful moments this week, and then we can all join in a small but glorious melee of happy cheerfulness, whatever else might be going on beyond the bounds of this post.
Shut out the world for a moment, if you will, and let’s get stuck into the Good Stuff.
You wouldn’t think that the interruption of a fly would cheer me, but it did. It landed on my screen, obscuring my view as I typed my introduction to this post, and sat there, wings out – tiny, transluscences enshrouding a speck of dark black, which wandered on audacious, trespassing legs – without a care in the world. Just doing its little fly ‘thing’. Being entirely and completely a fly. An annoying, in-the-way fly, which I put my fingertip out to…not to squash…but merely to urge back into the air and away from causing a distraction to my oh-so-important piece of writing. It flew, but onto my fingertip, and I lifted it to my eyes to better see it against the back-light of my screen. It was small. Wonderous. Perfect. An exquisitely crafted fly, with more systems, senses and capabilities than my brain could begin to fathom, all held within its minute completeness.
Snuggling up to the hot-rubber scent of a hot water bottle (tucked inside my hoodie, underneath a couple of layers of fleecy blanket wrapped around), filled for me by someone wonderful, who cares enough to fetch it from wherever abouts the house I abandoned it last, and feeling that cosy glow of delicious warmth spreading through my body. Just…really wonderful.
Climbing into bed next to a not-so-small-any-more-but-very-sweetly-asleep boy, listening to his breathing and knowing that he likes me being there and sleeps better with me (well, or whoever) than not. Stroking his head when the breathing turns to irritating snoring, feeling the lovely short, thickness and aliveness of his hair, of his being…and being very pleased when he shifted, re-settled, and the snoring stopped. [And being very impressed with said boy’s care and attention in trying to climb over my legs without waking me up, in the morning. I woke up and moved my legs, because he’s not a ninja, and I’m not an asshole.]
The sinky-in warmth of an old friendship, shared history, and getting to eat ALL THE GOOD THINGS (and some of the junky ones (because it’s astonishing (no, for reals) how much vegan junk-food there is)), and watching episodes and episodes of the wonderful Derek-Jacobi-infused series Cadfael, and getting to stay up late and sleep over and not worry because it was a time-out from my time-out and it was gentle and not too taxing and helped. Thanks Vince.
I’ve really enjoyed, and been helped by, the distraction of seven (or thereabouts) days of nature photography, which (given my limited toddlings) has given rise to some interesting results. I’ve had cause to go and really look at fairly familiar patches of nature (i.e. the garden) and explore new possibilities and angles and ways of showing what grows there, so that a) I like what I share, and b) other people do. Thank goodness for Instagram, really. It’s wonderful to take a peek into other people’s lives, as well as letting them take a peek into mine.
Being able to wake up, NOT tied to a regime of pain meds, and decide to roll over, snuggle down again, and go back to sleep, because it’s good for me and helping me heal.
The way something as simple as eating breakfast in a sunbeam can remind you of good times with a good friend. That those reminders can inspire poetry and the finding of beauty in something as commonplace as a piece of fruit. That I have had the time and inclination to appreciate both/all of these things, and turn them into poetry. There’s something about focus and immersing oneself in the moment and…more…about this, but my brain is foggy and I can’t remember it right now. But the breakfast and the poem were good. The sunbeam was cheering, and the friend and the friendship truly delightful.
To be checked in on by friends who care, is more wonderful than anything. To know that they make time in their hearts and lives for me is delightful. To know so many of them so closely and so for-real-ly, is even better. To name so many I’ve shared precious moments, excited smiles and great hugs with..and to know there are so many more with whom I hope to share great hugs, excited smiles, and precious moments with – I am very very blessed by friendship and wonderful friends.
More than ever I’m thankful for the kindness and loveliness and gentle encouraging wonderfulness of Living At Home (well, not just any at home, but with Mum and WonderAunty, who might be two of the most amazing people I know – both so full of great wisdom and TLC and just…LOVELINESS), and for the ways I have been very carefully and consistently Looked After whilst I’ve been ill.
Here. This space. To share thoughts and words, and celebrate other people. To introspect and extrospect and wonder about things. To be able to write words to connect. To be able to share what makes my heart sing. To have space. To have time to indulge in that space. To have you here, and all the people in this place.
Am I cheered up? You betcha**
Are you? Share something cheering *happysmiles*
*Ordeal – more a mindset than anything else, but the pushing through an unpleasant experience (whether internal or external, self-inflicted or forced upon you) whilst being mindful that you can and will be able to grow through it, or that the having had said experience will prove useful to you or to others (once shared), thereby rendering it worthwhile. See The Wakefield Doctrine for more on that.
**Also tired and Going To Bed.