Ten Things of Thankful 141 (Pupils, Dahling) #10Thankful

The challenges to my self-opinion have come thick and fast, recently. Maybe it’s just the right time, or maybe it’s the universe kicking my ass into gear. Whichever it is, I’m glad of it.

I used to think I was good at self-analysis, and yet somehow have constantly been baffled when others’ opinions of me have been so vastly different from my own. Not to mention often at odds with the same. My low self-esteem is the stuff of textbook, originating in an abusive, undermining, bullied childhood, with scant situations where an alternative view was offered, and the strident voices of the majority overwhelmed those who tried to nurture me. The negatives were instilled, and it’s against those I’ve been fighting ever since.

WonderAunty had a soulmate – Bear – who was very wonderfully growly, and very VERY wise. She tells me he used to combat self-negativity by instructing the mea doing the culpaing to remember “Pupils, dahling – pupils”, and to acknowledge the truth in how vastly different things (and the self) can be when seen through other people’s eyes. I’m thankful, SO thankful, to have been blessed with people willing to stand and fight the self-negatives alongside me. And not just one or two, either, but positive FLOODS of people, all keen to let me know they care; they want good things for me; that I matter to them.

who am I now - summat2thinkon.wordpress.com

I matter. Something I struggled with for years. The idea that I could even have the value/temerity to take up space in someone’s heart, or in their day, if they weren’t somehow obliged to let me, was baffling. I spent years apologising for myself, hating myself when I began to care about someone new because I didn’t want to burden them with my ‘friendship’, yet still less wanted to lose them. I spent countless hours agonising about how to make my impact on the world and the people around me lighter, more pleasant, more positive, and please, somehow acceptable…

Wasted hours? No. I’m thankful for each one of them, for through those awkward, stumbling times of testing relationships, I’ve come to a place of acceptance. I now accept, with such gratefulness, that people wanted me in their lives, not from obligation or duty, but from a place of genuinely wanting to be involved in my life, and for me to be involved in theirs. They sought the connection with me. They cherished it. In the face of my confusion, they loved me. Probably in spite of their irritation at my constant uncertainty.

The latest challenge came to me in the form of Dana’s ‘Who I Am’ project – the prompt for February being to share how we seem through the eyes of people who love us. I’m NOT one of the people who loves me, not yet, but I’m getting there, and magic is being wrought from the positive input of others*.

Who-I-am-button

I could easily wax lyrical about my position in the family, as daughter/niece/sister/aunty. I could rhapsodise for hours (and have done, in the past) about my friends. But…ask me to explain what they think of ME, and you’ll get a rabbit-in-the-headlights look, and a completely blank mind. It’s not that I’ve no idea, because I could probably make suggestions based on feedback, but if I’m honest, it makes me vastly uncomfortable to try to convey other people’s positive opinions about me. Partly because I’m so much more comfortable with negative ones, and partly because I’d hate to do them the disservice of over (or under) stating the facts, or missing anything out.

So I asked. I went and asked a handful of women I trust and love, whether they’d be willing to write something short I could share here in order to meet the criteria for the link-up. Thankfully, none of them laughed in my face, and all were willing to write down ‘how they see me’.

It was revelationary:

Mum
Dearest Lizzi…how I see you, through my eyes.

I drew an eye, and at the centre, the pupil, is YOU – my lovely special Lizzi, whose company I so much enjoy.
Then there’s the iris. That startling blue, with all the flecks of colour, shade and nuances. I thought of your creativity – your writing, books and poems; your way with words; your paintings, beach art, the way you make beautiful things. I also see you as a person with energy – you muck in. Your commitment to family and friends shows itself in action; like your willingness to help out with [Niece] and [Neff], and the way you get stuck in on the allotment – all that digging!

I like your enthusiasm, joy, smiles, laughter, fun. There’s a warmth in your relationships – you send parcels with lots of glitter, writer letters; there’s hugs and kisses with [Niece] and [Neff]. They adore you.
I shall always associate you with blankets and sleep! And Scrabble. You do great online stuff; 10 Things of Thankful; Being Real with your friends, and being there for them.

You’re a hard worker, pond inspector, cyclist, stylish, thrifty, unique. There’s only one YOU. Be as truly yourself as you can. That’s the richness of our being. Of YOUR being, and I LOVE all the light and shade and speckles and flecks and nuances that make you who you are.
With all my love,
from Mum xxx

WonderAunty
When I look at you dearest Lizzi,
What do I see?
I see you as a beautiful person – giving and encouraging goodness and enabling ways of being
I see you as a courageous person – seeking to make sense of your history and heal the parts of painful past to transform into something precious
I see you as a dedicated person – committed with your heart, mind, body and soul, to others and to your values and your dreams – attaining your aims and shaping your future
I see you as a fun-loving person – creating enjoyment, laughter and fun
I see you as an intelligent person – witty and wise, knowledgable and insightful
I see you as warm and snuggly – in your blankets, napping, taking me back in a flash to the baby with colic, walked for *hours* to keep asleep
I see you as a loving person – of friends and family, all round the sides of the pond, much-loved and much-treasured
I see you as a creative person – wonderful writer, capturing moments, creating characters and narrative; finding the essence in poetry and pictures

Most of all, I see you as ‘being’ – the person I love and wish to know you are loved to your core by me and others; that you are accepted and valid; treasured and cherished – that in your face I see the years in kaleidoscope snuggled with those we love,  those still with us and those whose beautiful faces we hope we may see again one day but are always in our hearts, mine and yours, our shared history of love and laughter, of family moments and poems, of shared struggled and achievements, but always * for * each other. I long for you to know that you are beautiful and loved to your core and to know deep acceptance and inner peace.

YOU dearest dizzi-lahling reflecting in my pupils, held in my love, treasured and adored, finding yourself as we all do daily, redeeming the moments, sharing of your dear and loved self.

AND… with the most beautiful name and strong chosen identity, whizzing and fizzing, full of glittery-glorious-wonderfulness –  Lizzi Rene Lewis ; ) Hoorah!

Sis (written nearly a year ago, and borrowed from where she put it on Facebook)
Lizzi, i have been wanting to say this to you for a while; In the past 6 months i have seen a huge rise in acts of compassion in people, in the news. Just people helping others, out of compassion. I was telling mum the other day, “She’s done it mum; she has been the one person with persistence and honesty that has truly changed the world.” So many times I have heard the phrases ‪#‎1000Speak ‬‪#‎compassion‬ and ‪#‎silverlinings‬‪ #‎tenthingsofthankful‬ in completely in unrelated situations (sometimes ‪#‎tenthingsofgrateful‬ – but I think they got the idea off you.) I remember when you started this blogging thing, and to look at it now, WOW! Your hard work really has paid off. Almost everyday I hear someone talking about silver linings or something on the internet about compassion. So this is too say that I am SO enormously proud of you big sis! You have made a wonderful difference to so many peoples lives, even indirectly. If I had a huge shiny, sparkly, and glitter covered (of course), golden award, it would have your name all over it! I love you, and I love how much you have loved the world through your writing. You’re the best bean xx

Me and Sunset

Hasty – my Sunset; my 1000mile heart
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without social media and I realize I wouldn’t have met you and that is UNIMAGINABLE. I remember when you asked me to write for you and your energy was off the charts. Here was this amazing artist with words who was excited about me writing for her.

I think I blew off your comments at the time because you know my brain said all the usual stuff like “if she really knew me she wouldn’t say that”. But you stayed and you commented your way into my heart. Your words ended up reaching me. And then… we wrote together.

How can someone else so much like me exist? And then I saw (really looked) at you… and I saw me. Your smile, your eyes, the shape of your face! You were a better reflection of the person I saw in my own mirror. And the weird and impossible thing is you saw me as a better reflection of you.

You say I taught you what love means but really you taught me. Maybe we taught each other. I know I am a better person and more stable because of you. We are connected. And I know it is an always and forever kind of connection. We just get each other and our ways.

I will always be there for you. ALWAYS.

I love you ❤

Kristi – one of my ‘Lifeboats’ and longest-held-most-treasured friends here in the World Between the Wires
How do I see Mz. Lizzi?
Most obviously as somebody shamelessly preening for compliments asking those of us who she *knows* adore her “And just how do you see me?” I can almost see her bat her eyes while she looks up grinning, knowing that probably, she’s going to be really happy about what we tell her, or, when times require, bop her over the head with.
In all seriousness though, if I had a wish for our Lizzi, it would be for her to see herself the way that the rest of us do. When she’s not asking for compliments, she is an amazing friend who offers support, love, and genuine friendship to so many of us online and in real. She is generous of time and of spirit, and brightens lives hourly with her wit, her enthusiasm, and her genuine love of Her People and Lifeboats. She’s a treasure, and a rare one.
My son adores her, and why wouldn’t he? She’s fun, energetic, and willing to play and to listen. Plus, she has impressive abs and rooster hair.
(She’s also passive aggressive in getting us to give compliments. ‘Don’t worry it’s up without you’ is like being snubbed and triggers fear of missing out, so we do her bidding. She’s mostly pretty awesome though.)

Beth – my wonderful, darling BlogWife, who I utterly adore
If I were forced to fit all that is Lizzi Lewis into one word, that word would be compassionate. Luckily, I get more words. When I think of her it feels like sunshine. Warm. Nurturing. Encouraging. Protective. She is wicked smart. Determined as hell. Brave. So brave! Because of past hurt, she sometimes requires reassurance, but this is also what makes her infinitely empathetic. She’s silly, and giggly, and FUN. That girl personifies generosity. She is love and light and all that is good in the world. She is Lizzi.
It may have been a slightly ‘reassurancey’, ‘needyish’ thing to ask some of the people I love most to write these pieces for me and let me share them, but as I’ve added each one in, and brought to mind the wonderful memories I have with each writer, and the ways each has played her part in my world and influenced my life SO SO SO much for the better. All I can do is smile and feel overwhelming gratitude that I have such incredible, beautiful, loving, RIGHT people in my life. I am so, SO the most ever thankful for that, and for each of them.

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This post was part of the Ten Things of Thankful hop, and also Who I Am, where the prompt was to write about the people we love, and those who love us. If you want to read the other posts linking up to Dana’s hop, click HERE to visit.

*Lest you think I’m getting too big for my boots, know this – there are (probably not as many) alternative opinions out there about me. There are people who think I’m a loser, a user, a fool. There are people who’d hold that I’m a waste of space, a charlatan, and a liar. There are people who I think would very genuinely experience me as a hypocrite, an abuser of trust, and a terrible role model. I’m trying to only pay attention to those viewpoints when they seem to be valid. If they just come from spite and orneriness, I’m learning to say “Not my zoo, not my monkey” and put distance in place, just to be on the safe side.**

**When I read this post, and this last note, to mum, she looked at me with a sad smile, and said “I can see you’re trying to keep a balance – you don’t have to, you know…”

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53 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful 141 (Pupils, Dahling) #10Thankful

  1. AW!!! Everything- all of this… just SO beautiful. I think you have grown IMMENSELY since I’ve known you…. and oh the JOY I feel about that continues to rise every time I see something you write or a pic of you… because I keep watching you develop these wings and I see you beginning to FLY!!!

    I especially loved your family’s incredible words describing you. It made my heart SWELL, to read each one of their tributes to you and I just soaked in their lovely descriptions of you- as they seem to match all of who you are to us too. Your mum, aunty and sis are such precious people in your life that I would so love to meet someday… I feel like reading their words made them feel all the more real to me. ❤

    LOVED this with my whole heart. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s wonderful how that happens with words – it was words which made so many lovely friends real to me, before I had the chance to meet them, and having met them, I was faced with IRREFUTABLE proof that they wanted me, without agenda, because they cared. And that was HUGE. Changes are happening in me, and I’m thrilled to pieces about it, and I love that you’re part of it, and I’m so thankful 🙂 ❤ ❤

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  2. This is so absolutely beautiful!
    I think those who love us help us to see why we are worth loving, what makes us special and wonderful and unique and every thing in between. They can see us in a way that is difficult to see ourselves, no matter how introspective we are.
    Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Bev – it made a HUGE difference to me, because there’s no way I could have ventured such robust opinions about how people love me, without having asked them. I’m just so thankful I had a number of wonderful women on hand to ask, who were happy to contribute. It’s definitely the case that they held up mirrors and reflected back the bits I hoped I might see, as well as so many I would never have thought of 🙂

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  3. This is absolutely beautiful. With each special person who shared their Lizzi with us, my heart swelled. I DO hope you can see yourself the way that we see you. I have kept the beautiful card you sent me recently. You are so very amazing, and I’m blessed to call you a friend. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhh that makes my heart happy *twinklygrins* and I’m so glad you like this. I feel very blessed to be YOUR friend, too, and thank you for your friendship and your care and encouragement. It means a lot to me, truly 🙂

      And yes…I’m so, so lucky to be able to share such beautiful words from such beautiful women, all of whom love me, and whom I love.

      I’m lucky, maybe the luckiest ever, because it all comes back to love, doesn’t it 🙂

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  4. What a beautiful gift….you are also a thought-provoking woman that allows all of us to roam freely in your mind as if we are visiting an art gallery and becoming inspired.
    I often have claimed that if I can be the person that my dog thinks I am or knows I am well then I’m ok…except ego get in the way and I forget to be….
    I am so happy I’ve stumbled over here, you make me think…and feel…thank you…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow…that’s a stunning and very flattering description of my writing – thank you so much!

      I think dogs have an innate sense of looking for the best in people, on the whole, and they just seem to be joyous creatures in general. I get the impression that any dog-owner could easily feel the same sense of being okay, if they viewed themselves through the eyes of their pet 🙂

      I’m glad you came over, too, and thank you 🙂

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  5. What a gift. Not just the post. Not just the inspiration (which I now want to next out.) Not just the responses (which are lovely beyond words.) But your flood of people.The sort of flood for which you would never need and ark…but rather let it wash over you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so, SO fortunate to have that flood of people. As I’ve been in this World Between the Wires longer and longer, I’ve discovered nothing more delightful than making meaningful connections with people, with the natural (though somehow unforseen) result that they also have THEIR experience of connecting with ME, and tend to find it positive. And they have something to say about that, and…it’s wonderful! Absolutely the kind I want to let wash over me and cherish 🙂

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  6. Pingback: Ten Things of Thankful 141 #10Thankful – ladyleemanila

  7. Wow, Lizzi. I’m commenting now, but I’m sure I’ll be back again as my mind digests all you have written. Me with those self-esteem issues (even at my age). This week I was thinking about the ME I see through my eyes and through eyes of others, and I have the feeling of judgment and is it me judging me? Me thinking they are judging me, or them judging me????? Anyway, I LOVE what your sister said. You are so cool.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhh I know – I’ve been lost down that rabbit hole before; how much of it is perception, and how much of it is projection. I read a meme earlier which said something along the lines of getting to an age where you realise no-one was interested in what you were doing anyway, and I just thought that was absolute bollocks, because I think I’ll probably always be a little apprehensive about what people think of me, and know I have a tendency to assume the worst (somehow this is a stronger feeling when the person I assume is doing the judging is someone whose judgement *matters* to me).

      ANYWAY…I’m glad you’ve commented, and whilst I’m not glad you have self-esteem issues (and again, I reiterate I don’t think there’s an age at which you’re ‘meant to be over that kind of thing’ – I think it’s something we learn to manage, but which is always a part of our character), I AM glad for the ways in which we understand one another, for the parallels we see, and for the comfort and friendship we can offer one another, in spite of all this Geography. Thank goodness we have the World Between the Wires, my OceanHeart 🙂 ❤

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    • Ohhh Jen, that’s lovely, LOVELY to read, and thank you. I’m glad you’re MY friend, too, and I still think it’s remarkable that our lives share so many parallels, and I love that we’ve been able to support each other in that.

      And thank you – I really do feel like I’m doing my bestest and maybe beginning to SUCCEED at making it through life. So that’s kinda awesome 🙂

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  8. My heart is beaming and overflowing with joy and pure love after having read this. WOW, WOW, WOW, Lizzi!!! I say WOW not because I am at all surprised with the beautiful things said about you (DUH), but because you are beginning to believe them and to love yourself!!! That makes me soooooooooooooo happy!!! I couldn’t agree more with every single word these ladies have said. I often ask myself, how can I care so much about someone I have not yet met???? TE QUIERO MUCHO MUCHO MUCHO, Honeybee! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

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    • Honeybee, I just love you, and your words have made me smile SO MUCH! Thank you for your constant encouragement and support, and for your care, which is an absolute delight and a brightshiny point in my world. I love that we have this friendship and I just…I want to dance and sing for happiness at your happiness, and I’m SO glad I’m finally beginning to see what other people do. It’s a HUGE step for me, but such an important one, and what makes it so special is that it’s a step I get to take with so many wonderful friends around me, cheering me on. Just…LOVELY 🙂 BESOS ❤ ❤ ❤

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  9. Wow, you come from a family of wordsmiths! What a blessing it is to see ourselves through eyes of love, eyes that lack judgement and ridicule. Take those words and imprint them on your heart so that you can be even half as kind to self as you are to others!
    Also, please write about your talent for pond inspecting sometime.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks May. I think I do (WonderAunty is a freelance publisher, former senior English publisher, and has long-long-long been associated with wordsmithery). But yes, you’re absolutely right – to be seen through eyes which love us is absolutely wonderful. I will try to remember them and hold onto them when things get tricky and I seem set to revert to my usual self-negatives.

      The pond-inspecting! Ha! That’s part of some of the more bizarre years of my history, but yes, I will write 🙂

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  10. Lizzi, these were great and how powerful to put these things all together here and I hope you wil come back here on one of your days of self-doubt and those comments will fortify you. I really loved the way your Mum wrote her comments and referring to your eyes. It was very poetic. Does she write? If not, she certainly has the goods.
    I once wrote about my much loved aunt and going swimming round and round her iris. It was like your Mum had read my thoughts and seen you through my eyes because it’s not a perspective I’ve really read elsewhere. It was a bit if a nunnoo nunnoo moment!
    xx Rowena

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    • Rowena, how funny that you’ve had similar thoughts and written in similar ways, using the eye as your muse. My mum’s not a poet (to my knowledge) but I’ll certainly pass on your compliments – I think she’ll be very pleased 🙂

      I think this is one of the pieces I’ll bookmark to come back to – it’s so very precious because of the people who’ve written for me, and that (with a minimal amount of pestering) they really WANTED to participate and do this for me – to voice their opinions to be ‘out there’ as people who care very much about me. I am gathering hard evidence of my likability to confront my self-loathing with, for when it next strikes, and I hope very much that I will find fortitude, strength, and joyful truth in these wonderful words 🙂

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      • It’s hard and constant work but you’ve made great strides forward.
        I realised as I read through the anniversary posts for 1000 Voices that it’s a “place” where I feel very much cared for and respected and it’s a really safe space free from judgement, criticism and nastiness. I don’t know when the outside world started feeling hostile to me but I have really pulled back from a lot of people contact both because I get tired and also because I’m sick of the negativity, put downs etc. Not necessarily about myself but others. I really think a lot of adults need to remember what I was certainly taught as a child: “If you haven’t got something nice to say, say nothing at all.”

        Liked by 1 person

        • Oh gosh yes, I couldn’t agree more. Especially the uncalled-for nastiness about people who haven’t the chance to defend themselves. Like those memes, which show people in Walmart, or whatever. I just find them upsetting, not funny.

          Long ago I heard a very wise thought, which said “If you’re not kind on the internet, you’re not kind,” and I thought that was absolutely MARVELLOUS. I can quite understand you withdrawing. There’s entirely too much nastiness about.

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          • I thought you would appreciate this interview: http://www.smh.com.au/good-weekend/artist-joshua-yeldhams-journey-from-darkness-to-light-20160204-gmlte2.html I have ordered his book but it’s going to take a few weeks. He speaks very graphically about being bullied at school.
            I ended up writing a really graphic poem about bullying and the cruelty. I doubt bullies ever consider that their victims are much loved by their families and so precious and when some of their victims get pushed too far, the role they have played in their demise. I was on the train working on thie and wrote so much that I filled my note book and ended up with fragments everywhere. I’m sure you relate. I’ve had some problems with a tooth and have been heading to the dentist every few weeks. It’s a 3 hour round trip and the stress of it all, is perfect for intense inspiration. I end up writing volumes. Should’ve known to take more paper!
            By the way, I am finding my daughter has these self-doubts and at times can’t see her capabilities. She’s getting quite tired and it’s been so hot here lately. Not good for your emotions. I hope this is just adjusting to going into what we call an Opportunity Class. It’s a selective class for primary school students.
            Anyway, take care and we keep battling away at it…nothing takes the place of persistence! xx Rowena

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            • Ohhh thanks for the link to the interview – I’ll definitely check it out.

              I hope your daughter gets through her time of self-doubt. I’m sure that having you in her corner, shoring up her self-esteem and supporting her, will help her confidence. It’s so difficult sometimes, to manage the variety of voices which hold an opinion on our characters. I’m just glad that I have a majority in the positive, now. It’s such a relief.

              I hope your tooth gets better soon, and absolutely – never travel without a notebook.

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  11. In a place like social media, where people seem to take great pleasure in berating themselves and playing the victim for attention’s sake, your thoughts are very refreshing. We need more of this.

    Peace

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    • Hi Wes, and thank you! It can get tiresome to see people’s self-deprecation, especially if it’s purely done for attention. I’ve done my fair share of soul-searching and ‘being harrowed at the state of myself’ on this blog, too, but never just for attention – always with a view that a) writing helps me organise my thoughts, and b) other people might feel this way and find it useful to read (as I have their harrowings, at times) and c) just perhaps someone will have a bright idea about how to deal with the mess of me. Which has happened, and I’ve been very grateful.

      The most wonderful thing through writing frankly (and asking others to write frankly) is the connections I’ve made – the deep and enduring friendships which have been forged in this World Between the Wires, and THAT is something we all need more of 🙂

      I’m glad you found my thoughts refreshing – that’s very encouraging. Peace to you, too 🙂

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  12. We all have people who adore us and people who can’t stand us. (Can you believe there is a parent at our school who won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me? She can’t stand me that much.) And guess what, there are people whom I adore and people who I really just don’t care for. It’s OK! We don’t all have to like each other. (As long as we treat each other with respect, of course.) Keep listening to those of us who do adore you. 🙂

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    • I’m sad to know there’s someone who won’t even look at you. Having known you for so long and known you In Real, I can’t imagine what anyone could EVER find to dislike, but then (as a friend once said), “people are STRANGE,” and I suppose sometimes we have to attribute their attitudes to just that.

      And yes, with the shoe on the other foot, there are people I feel ambivalent towards, and even those I positively dislike, and so we’re all a mixture and in the melee, but yes – how we treat one another is far more important than anything we feel for them.

      I’ll keep listening – the best thing is, I’m beginning to HEAR 🙂

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  13. You know, whenever I read your words I think to myself, “that girl is going to write a novel one of these days that completely knocks the socks off the world.” You, my friend, are utterly talented at putting words together in such beautiful ways that I can’t help but marvel at how well letters, words and phrases are put together, to say nothing of the wonderful content.
    In any case, I’m glad you’re you, that all your experiences have led to right here, right now. Because, like your sister said, you’ve found a way to make a difference, a true impact. I love that you’ve continued this blog hop for years now and that I can come back to participate and still feel the love and compassion I felt when I first participated.
    You’re to real deal: the one who brings people together all over the world united in the cause of making each other better off, and the world a better place. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m grinning most at that last bit – that I’m a person who brings people together and encourages a common cause of making the world a better place – how utterly, indescribably WONDERFUL! I love, love, LOVE that thought.

      I felt a bit that way in Murica, because I was the catalyst for so many wonderful people meeting each other and strengthening or creating friendships, and that was AMAZING. I loved it, and it was a surprise favourite thing!

      I’m so glad I’m here, and yes – all of my experiences have been stepping stones up to this point, and each has mattered, each has counted in its way and HERE I AM! I’m so glad you DO come back, and that the hop is as welcoming and as loving as it ever was. I do think we’ve got something particularly special in this TToT community of ours.

      And…WOW! Thank you! I’m blown away by your compliments, and I assure you, I’d LOVE to write a novel one day, I just need the ideas, and…I’m so very thankful for feedback like yours, which makes me think that if I did, it might well be enjoyed 🙂 Thank you so, SO much *beaming*

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    • Now I’m grinning even more, cos of the TRUTH comment (ha ha) but…thank you so much for being an amazing, wonderful, inspiring friend, and for standing by me and helping me along my (often tangled) way. I wrote the ‘in spite of their irritation at my constant uncertainty’ bit for you, by the way…but in all seriousness, you HAVE been there to tell me the tough truths (and the lovely ones) when I’ve needed it, and you’re right, you’re right…all I feel is gratitude ❤

      Thank you so much for you 🙂

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  14. I’m tempted to save a copy of this post so that any time I would ever catch you sliding back into the swamp of low self esteem and The Slough Of Despond (beware of the Rodent of Extraordinary Size), I can pop it up at you and but a stop to that silliness (I know its not silly, really, understanding how you came by it, but you know what I mean). Thankful for you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s a wonderful thought, and thank you. I think it’s a post I’m going to return to again and again, and to keep reading and trying to absorb the gorgeousness of how people see me – how much they love me, and how much I matter to them.

      Depression is its own thing, and nothing can stop it when it gets going, but having a constant influx of this kind of amazing seems to slowly be loosening its grip on me, as well as challenging the long-held negative beliefs I have about myself. When I look through THEIR eyes, I see someone lovable. Next step (I suppose) is to see that quality when I look through mine.

      Thankful for YOU, too 🙂

      Like

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