Ten Things of Thankful 140 (Jetlagged) #10Thankful

“I wish I found some better sounds no one’s ever heard,
I wish I had a better voice that sang some better words…”

It’s all gone out of the window this week, as I knew it would. Jetlag is a beast, especially when (through lack of any remaining annual leave) you have to crash-land back into work less than a full day after travelling 6 hours into the future. I’ve spent the week in a haze of exhaustion, trying to keep up with my Muricans (that will never change) and wishing I didn’t feel as though I was pining for them quite so blatantly. Felt like it bordered on disrespectful, especially when I’m back amongst my people here, and am oh, so VERY thankful for them…

Perhaps they’d see it differently. I suspect they’d approach my sadness with a far more compassionate perspective than the one I’ve been viewing myself with. But I’m tired. I’m *really* tired, and I’ve been sleeping most peculiarly, trying to reacclimatise to life in the UK. I wish I had more encouraging things to say. Less whining. Less yearning for a future which, no matter how much I wish it, won’t happen with any more celerity than all the time it takes to occur, and all the steps taken in between.

Changed my name though, and that’s a HUGE step.

who am I now - summat2thinkon.wordpress.com

I missed this, last week, though I don’t like to assume I was missed. I think I caught a few posts amidst the fog, and was pleased to note the coding, co-hosts, and contributors were all carrying on most effectively without need for any input from me. And so I slept.

I was grateful for a work schedule which put me in the office on Monday and Wednesday, allowing me the grace of accidental naps (not too many, and with grinning co-workers calling me awake again) in a safer way than had I been driving. I was super EXTRA grateful for the weather, which saved the best bits for the days I was out running clinics (they involve a lot of to-ing and fro-ing, from my van to the doctor’s surgery, to shuffle patients around in a kind of ‘NHS Musical Chairs’, as I stage-manage the different sections of their appointments, and on wet days it’s absolutely MISERABLE).

I was HUGELY thankful for a really good meeting with my ED therapist this week. She gave me lots to think about, some of which was echoed (independently) by friends, and that’s given me huge pause for thought. There’s a possibility that my perspectives are shifting, and that’s SUCH a good thing. It would enable hitherto unthought of alterations in the way I view then-me, and consequently, the way I’m able to see now-me; something I’ve struggled with for a long time.

“I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink
But now I’m insecure and I care what people think”

All of my paragraphs seem to begin with “I…”, which is fine (as a self-professed egocentric blogger), but feels too focussed, for right now. I have to look outwards in thankfulness to the friends and family who have gathered around me (literally and metaphorically) to get me through the week. I’m delighted to NOT have dropped off into an abyss of depression, though there have been low moments, and the only tears which poured down my face whilst cycling to work were a result of the wind and extreme cold (as opposed to last time I came back from Murica, when it was utter devastation and grief).

I’m rambling.

Naps. I’m SO thankful for naps. I think my longest this week was a few hours, and my shortest was five minutes. I’m so grateful for each and every one of them.

Glad I was able to keep up with the onslaught of writing deadlines I managed to run into this week, what with the kick-off of the new Murder, We Wrote series, and 1000Speak’s anniversary celebration, and this, and Finish the Sentence Friday…I’m almost up to speed, and I have an idea for something to write about the whole ‘perspective’ thing. I’m most thankful for the way my writing here connects me to other people, enables me to establish friendships and allows joy far greater than could be contained on any page.

We need each other We ARE The Village - summat2thinkon.wordpress.com a #1000Speak post

There are no new photos on my phone. There weren’t that many taken, as memories, and I wish now that I’d sucked less at that. I wish I’d tried to capture more moments to look back on, rather than just living them. I’m thankful that so many of my friends DID take photographs, and at some point I need to execute a mass-photo-steal, possibly even going back as far as September, so I have those memories to look back on. That said, I’m enormously thankful for both visits, for the friends who looked after me and kept me, and made them both possible. I’m even more thankful for the learning experiences, the ways I’ve grown and changed as a result of those trips, and most thankful of all for the incredible memories, and for the changes I hope to make to my future as a result.

I’m thankful for VidChat, and about to abandon this complete mess of a post to go join it, to talk to people in real (and really varied) time. I miss that. I miss them.

“Wish we could turn back time to the good ol’ days” (even if the good ol’ days weren’t so long ago…)

Happy weekend, TToTers. Glad to be here, and trying my hardest to be grateful for each moment. Because Now is all we have.

Now is all we have - summat2thinkon.wordpress.com

 

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Have a video to enjoy. And tell me – what’s been occupying your thoughts this week?

 

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43 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful 140 (Jetlagged) #10Thankful

  1. Yeah I tried to join that vidchat but nobody was home! I hate that I keep missing it but the time is just so bad for me.
    Naps are a wonderful thing, no matter how long. I engage in them regularly and I find it makes me a happier person.
    I did not make it in for the Finish the Sentence Friday link. I missed last week, too, come to think of it. Horrid real-life-need-to-eat deadlines took precedence. Now those are all wrapped up and…yeah. Panic.
    xo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve only ever experienced jet lag once and that was when we went to Hawaii on our honeymoon. Holy hell.
    Well then you can count being a parent — that is a different breed in itself.
    I like naps.
    I don’t ever take them.
    It’s funny because I also notice when my paragraphs start with the same word. I thought I was the only one! I never notice it in other people’s writings though. Just mine.
    Ease on in slowly. Be good to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ergh I’m sorry you had to deal with that, and yes…I’ve seen parent-tiredness and it’s not something I’m eager to experience (any more). Yikes!

      I hereby wish you more naps, and peaceful opportunities in which to take them.

      I’m so glad you do the ‘same word starter’ thing as well. It really began to bug me, but…I’ve never noticed it in your writing, or anyone else’s, so I guess it’s another hypercritical thing.

      I’m taking it easy. You do, too, ‘kay? 🙂

      Like

  3. Beautiful Lizzi!
    Despite the tired and need to extra zzzz, you sound more content and less blue than the first time you crossed the pond.
    You touched on a favorite thinking point for me. As my family/friend’s appointed photographer for all events, I found myself missing the memories because I was photographing them. The photo becomEs the memory and some of the real gets lost. I think it’s a fantastic sign that you don’t have as many photos…you were “living the now”
    Get some extra rest, give yourself extra love, and a huge hug from me. Xoxoxox

    Like

  4. Pingback: Grateful to be home again! | Equine Guided Growth Retreats

  5. Sleep deprivation is a bad, bad thing. Naps are a good, good thing, except I usually bite my tongue in my sleep or something and jump awake.
    I always get sad when I have to leave Nashville, because I don’t want to leave my friend, and because I don’t want to leave Nashville. But I know I can’t live there. I don’t cry when I drive out of the city limits any more. Well, not every time, anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I cried at the airport, but I didn’t cry every day for weeks like I did last time (but last time there was a LOT more loss and complexity surrounding the whole ending of the trip, so that’s a factor).

      It’s awful being sad and leaving your Person. We had good chats last night on FB and Whatsapp, and that helped, but it’s really no substitute.

      And see, I CAN go and live in Nashville (as it were), I hope…

      *hugs*

      Like

  6. hey! so the vidchat stays open (after the tired old host puts on the frayed bathrobe, crushed-heel slippers and announces that ‘I’m going to go to be and read’ which is code for fall down in the softest room in the house and play horizontal book shelf for 8 hours)…cool. (“Are you kids still up down there! Keep it to a dull roar! Some of us have to go to work in the morning!”</em.)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This mama is all for catching up on sleep. Without sleep life is like pouring from an empty cup. Number one self-compassionate act – get enough sleep. Jetlag is a drag (pun intended) but cool thought about being catapulted into the future. The new name (past, present future) inspired the title of my TToT this week.

    Liked by 1 person

    • OOOOOOH well I’m *just* getting to the hop now, and am excited to read yours 😀 What fun!

      Jetlag is AWFUL and I hope I’m done with it for now. Just need to make sure I DO get some reasonable sleep tonight. But I’m keeping my fluids up, which is a good step, and I’ve had a nap today already 🙂

      Like

  8. Lizzy, I am the queen of napping! Seriously, if there were an award given out, I would be accepting it. Nap away my friend and enjoy them always. I swear I was a cat in another life. My mind has been consumed with facing the unfamiliar journey ahead of us. Our son {as you know} is leaving Monday for Army Airborne Ranger program and I am trying to find my way these days. Lot’s of napping for me as I feel broken down.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That said, it’s still Lizzi with an i :p

      Napping is WONDERFUL though, and holds body and soul together like nothing else. I hate struggling against that dragging exhaustion, and a little nap is sometimes just the thing.

      Napping is a good emotional response, too, and definitely something I do when I feel life’s getting too much. I think it’s the body’s equivalent of turning off and on again – a little restart to help you manage better. I hope your weekend goes well, and that Monday happens as well as can be expected *hugs*

      Like

      • I know, I caught that after I typed….like Lynda with a Y, I get it 🙂 Sometimes I nap for an hour {or so} not just a quick 20 mins. I wonder if that means I am just super exhausted or just really don’t want to get up LOL

        Liked by 1 person

        • Hehehe the danger of having an unusually spelled name, right? 😉

          I can nap for five minutes at a time, which means my body’s crashing. Today I managed to sneak in an hour on the sofa, which was delightful.

          I think whichever way it means, more sleep is better 🙂

          Like

  9. Lizzi, Lizzi, Lizzi. 😀
    I’m glad I made it to the vidchat last night. It was great to hangout, even quietly, with you and those other clarks, lol
    Thoroughly enjoyed reading today. You are an inspiration in so many ways. Tuck away that fact (inspiration to others) to withdraw when you feel a deficit impending 🙂
    I’m glad I know you Lizzi Lewis.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad I know you, too, and thank you for YOUR inspiration. I’m so glad to have seen you at VidChat, and In Real a mere two weeks ago (seems like a lifetime ago though, already).

      Thank you for thinking me inspirational. I shall tuck it away for the next time I feel a lack coming on, and shall try to hang onto it ❤ I'm HUGELY glad I know you, too 🙂

      Like

  10. AAAAHHHH!!! I can’t believe you added that video to your post! I love that song and was going to put it in my post! Funny, I’d never seen the video before, and now I love the song even more. FYI, for Christmas, my daughter got tickets to see them in concert. I’m jealous. Now I’ll go back and read your post. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not completely enamoured with the video, I’ll admit, but I LOVE the song. How funny that you were going to use it too!

      And WOW! She’s going to have an amazing time seeing them in concert! I hope they’re fabulous 😀

      Like

      • Perhaps I like the video, because it looks like it is in a neighborhood in my hometown. The houses, the cracks in the street, the tricycles, the freedom of roaming the neighborhood without parents, the “wanna come play at my house”, it was all just very nostalgic. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Love this. Love, love your writing – always! Glad you had a good visit this side. Been following along some – though I don’t get much time to comment. You’ll make it back over here. Of that I have no doubt. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awwwwh thanks so much! I had an AMAZING time on your side of the pond, and I am absolutely determined to come back, in some capacity or another. Be lovely if it was in a forever capacity, but I’ll take a ‘for now’. Glad to know you’re out there 🙂 Hope things are well with you xoxoxox

      Like

  12. I love that you quoted one of Tucker’s and my songs. “To the good old days… when the mamas sang us to sleep but now we’re stressed out.” Love. Also naps are Important with a capitol I. You HAVE grown and changed. And I think I’ll hate the video.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The video sucks but the song’s good. It’s in my ‘Murica playlist now.

      Naps are vital, and have held body and soul (somewhat) together this week, though I’ve still dropped the ball at the edges of life. And thank GOODNESS I’ve grown and changed. Needed to happen, and thanks for your part in that, over the years 🙂 xo

      Liked by 1 person

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