Who am I now?

I remember when I was very young, all the girls in my class wanted to be called Jessica.

Goodness knows why, or which Jessica inspired the trend – I was never trendy, and so far outside anything resembling ‘popular’ that I’d no clue the heritage of the craze – but I allowed myself to be swept along with it nonetheless. Perhaps it was a ‘fitting in’ thing, because I don’t remember particularly liking the name, but I wasn’t terribly imaginative, and only knew that I’d rather be called Jessica than my own name.

I was told (when I asked) that my name had no particular heritage. Although my Grandma’s name was also Elizabeth, I wasn’t named for her. No-one in our family was called Anne, so my middle name is still less connected, even by happenstance. It wasn’t even an intent to give me aspirations of royalty (though both names are queenly), and so I was destined to go through childhood with an unpretty, stuffy first name (to suit my unpretty, awkward self), and a middle name which sounded (to my mind) like someone trudging along in wellington boots *anne-anne-anne-anne*.

When I started college, I discovered (to my utter delight) that only a fraction of the bullies from my secondary school were attending the same institution, so I was freed of their association, their taunts, their long-held, low-viewed understanding of me, and I immediately reinvented myself as Lizzi. Not with a ‘y’, because one of the bully kids had been Lizzy-with-a-y, and not with an ‘ie’, because I just felt it didn’t fit, being more suited to heroines of classic fiction than an awkward, chubby teen, on the brink of reinvention and first friendships.

My last name, White, was perfect for twisting into cruel rhymes (it goes so well with things like ‘fright’) and for drawing embarrassing attention to my translucent skin, which never held a tan until my late teens. Once married, I was able to shrug off the awful associations with my childhood surname and adopt the uneasy mantle of more adult twists in the jibes about my new last name – Rogers (because verbify it…) – but still, was pleased enough to have moved onwards; another step further from that girl I so desperately wanted to escape.

Maybe it was because I never came to like myself, or I might have developed more positive associations with my name. As it is, the only person who refuses to call me by my preferred name, still evokes a soul-deep shudder of revulsion when he addresses me with the name he chose for me. He promised me (quite equitably) that even when I change my name, he won’t alter how he addresses me, which is another kettle of fish entirely, and can be filed quite firmly under ‘daddy-daughter-dysfunction’ and left there. Please.

I’m lucky. I live in a country where I DO get to choose, even unofficially, how other people might address me. I’ve already started switching (where I can) from ‘Mrs’ to ‘Ms’, as I enter the hazy middle world of women who want to cast off the memories of failed marriage, singletons not willing to be identified as such, and ladies who’d rather you mind your own business. It’s a place which feels as though it’s still kicking back at the (probably) Victorian, (certainly) antiquated notion that women’s relationship status be made public by title, as though it in some way confers validation or silent reproach for the way her love-life turned out.

*gets off high horse*

who am I now - summat2thinkon.wordpress.com

The thing is, names mean something. A huge deal. They’re part of our past, woven inextricably into our upbringing, and so into now-us.

Some might be already changed through adoption or marriage – life-rafts names filled with the buoyant promise of ‘forever’, taking over from the place where a not-for-good left off. Some might be changed through choice or circumstance – the realisation you’re not who everyone thought you were, or the sudden discovery that you need to be someone else – and so you can paint over your past with bold colours, pointing towards a new direction in life; a new you. Some might be anchors to heritage, to people loved and lost, to beautiful traditions passed down through the generations, cherished afresh in each new child to bear the given moniker.

Some might be shackles.

Again, I thank my lucky stars for the accident of birth which made me native of a country which doesn’t require such trappings to remain.

In 5-7 days, for a nominal fee (paid), my new name will be arriving, certificated, in the post. Freedom by deed poll, regardless of the status of relationship. I get to begin again; a few baby steps further on my way to Becoming; a clean slate on which to draw a new me.

I knew I wanted to make this change, as soon as the idea was brought to my attention as a possibility. I got all hot and cold and excited in the middle at the thought I could finally cast off the names which bound me to my former selves.

But then it struck me – in the same way as I never wanted to be Jessica, not really – who did I want to be? What name would I be happy to carry through the rest of my life? How did I feel people would perceive whichever-me they ended up addressing with a new name? Surely I couldn’t expect to retain my credibility, or the stability of an established presence, if I just went and changed *everything*?

I decided to stick with Lizzi.

The first important name-change I ever made, and one I still like. It’s how people know me, and more importantly, it’s the name by which they love me (though (freshly showered) I assure you, by any other name I’d smell as sweet). It’s quirky, it’s a pain in the ass to get people to spell correctly. It’s got two ‘z’s and rhymes with all sorts of fun things like ‘fizzy’ and ‘whizzy’, and sounds a little bit like sparkles might, if they were spinning in circles too fast.

For my last name, I was just as clueless. I didn’t want to change to something outrageous, and (for the sake of futureproofing and you-never-know) hoped to adopt something I wouldn’t mind seeing on the cover of a book one day. In a moment of whininess sheer inspiration, I asked my wonderful BlogWife, (prize-winning author, supremely awesome person, and one of my favourite humans on the planet) Beth, who suggested a literary connection might be nice, and whether or not the name of a favourite author could be used. BOOM! WINNAH! Lewis Thomas, who wrote some of the most glorious scientific essays about such things as Bach being beamed into outer space (as a bit of a brag), nested parentheses (which I love beyond all reason (seriously (and if you can find a copy of The Medusa and the Snail, GET IT!))), and the deep meaning of whale-song.

Lewis Thomas Quote on genes, understanding, and learning

Lizzi Lewis, then.

But what for a middle name? After all, I’d grown used to having one, and something in me rather likes the idea of a middle name, like cracking open the spiky outer shell of a horse-chestnut, and seeing the glowing, molten-brown gloss of a new conker inside. Or the mischievous joy of being triple-named having done something naughty (happens more often than you might think (well, maybe not)).

I mulled. I pondered. I considered. I… (you get the picture)

At some point it struck me. Heritage. Homage. Connection. Treasured names, and the tradition of continuing the people we love.

My great aunty Rene was most definitely and absolutely one of life’s BrightShiny people. She had a smile which could light up the room, eyes full of sparkle and mischief, and was perhaps the most adored person I’ve ever had the delight and pleasure to know. She was a legend. She was beautiful. She was glamourous. She populated family stories with her antics, her love for her husband, her love of theatre, her love of people, her devotion to her nieces and nephews (she never had children of her own – a parallel too significant for me to ignore, rendering her one of my inspirational people, as I grappled with the idea that I might never be a parent), and just how very, VERY much she loved. Oh. My. Gosh, did she know how to love.

You just *felt* it, the moment you entered her presence; that she absolutely, most definitely and completely loved you. YOU – for all that you were and all you hoped to be. For all of your mistakes, your dreams, your catastrophes and your triumphs. For the time you were with her, you were utterly enveloped in warmth and glory because SHE chose to see you with loving, cherishing eyes.

My very glamourous great auntie Rene

She was perfect. Wonderfully, humanly, incredibly perfect, and perfectly her. And in taking on her name, I know I step into big (terribly stylish) shoes, but it is with humility, with love, and with a twinkle in my eye, that I’ve chosen to honour the wonderful, amazing person she was.

And so, it is my great pleasure to introduce myself to you, right now (and with official paperwork to follow):

I’m Lizzi Rene Lewis. (Ms.)

It’s a pleasure to meet you.

 

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106 thoughts on “Who am I now?

  1. Pingback: Ten Things of Thankful 154 (Happy for NOW) #10Thankful | Considerings

    • *grins* That’s very kind of you. I’m used to being misspelled, and the thing which most often elicits a wry smile is the consultant at work, whose (not very complicated) name she INSISTED we all learn to spell right, but who consistently writes me as ‘with an -e’ 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!! I’ve been wanting to read this one for so long- and I FINALLY have the backdrop to your name change. Oh lizzi, it fits your perfectly. It sounds beautiful, sophisticated, and somehow reflects something pure and uniquely sweet. ❤ It almost sings to me…

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  3. “You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, not look through the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the spectres in books. You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me, you shall listen to all sides and filter them from yourself.” Walt Whitman (Song of Myself)

    I’ve always believed names have power which is why I’ve tried to pick good names for my kids, ones they would like and not ‘get used to’ because they must. You have picked wonderful new ones.

    Lizzi=Elizabeth=consecrated to God
    Rene=reborn
    Lewis (as a surname)=descendant of Lewis (glory, battle)

    Personally, I think it’s very fitting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhhh PINKY! I never even thought of looking up the meanings of the names, I just knew I liked them, and gathered them to me. I knew the meaning of Elizabeth (as it’s been mine forever) but the other two…how wonderful! Thank you 🙂

      The Walt Whitman passage is lovely and makes me want to think, lots, about it, about how I’m going to see myself, and my life from here, and what filters I’m prepared to look through or lose.

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      • My little sister is an Elizabeth and my niece that just made me a grand-aunt is also an Elizabeth and her daughter is Aubrey Elizabeth. LoL
        But I like Lizzi.
        And I felt the same way about Jessica so I changed mine in high school to Jesi, choosing to end it with an “i” because I had too much muchness to be an “ie” or a “y”.

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        • I love that yours ends in an ‘i’ as well. I’ve always liked that. It’s great that we get to develop our names as we develop ourselves. It’s an important step of self-ness, I think.

          Too much muchness. What a wonderful thought 🙂

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  4. I had noticed the name change and I loved it right away. I am glad you are still Lizzy, it is perfect for you and I could not think of you with any other name 🙂

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  5. Pingback: Ten Things of Thankful 140 (Jetlagged) #10Thankful | Considerings

  6. Beautiful thoughts here on the power of naming. When I did away with my hyphenated name, I briefly thought of picking a totally new last name, but in the end just went back to being a Walker since I identify with that name so much and all that it stands for in a certain North Idaho neck of the woods. Please to meet you, Ms. Lewis.

    Liked by 1 person

    • See, now that’s great, that you have a heritage to your name which is so treasured, and which you enjoy identifying with 🙂 I’m glad you’re continuing on with a choice you’re happy with, and all that it stands for.

      And yes – naming (and UNnaming) is so important. I’m glad we got to choose.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Awwh thank you Dana! I’m glad. I’m beginning to think more deeply about the ‘me’ bit of me – the bit which won’t, wouldn’t (and maybe hasn’t) change, no matter what I was called. Trying to see whether it’s an alright thing 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This is great! After 26+ years of having the same last name, I’ve learned to like it. I’ll probably keep it…at least for a while. Your aunt Rene was beautiful – both inside and out. I have a few friends that also have that quality – making me feel totally and completely loved and accepted just how I am. I can’t get enough of them and I wish I could be more like that.

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    • I wished I could be more like that, as a teenager, and I set out to make it happen – to make the changes from the behaviours which I felt were so unattractive and repellent (inherited from those poor role models I was exposed to) – and I hope I’m doing it.

      My auntie Rene was AMAZING and I hope one day I feel I do her name justice. I’m going to try my best 🙂

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  8. Oh Honeybee (can I still call you that?), this post makes me so happy! How incredibly fun to choose your own name! More of us should do that, particularly when “starting over” and undertaking a new beginning. I love love love the entire name! So glad you kept Lizzi, RENE is awesome and Lewis just completes it all. Yippee! Your aunt sounds so amazing and a lovely person to model after. CHEERS to the new and adorable, Lizzi Rene Lewis! 🙂

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    • YES! You absolutely CAN still call me Honeybee, if I can still call you that! I love my new name very much but nicknames are a whole other level of awesome, because in the past, no-one ever cared enough to give me an endearing one..I utterly cherish the times when people give me a nickname.

      It was SO wonderfully freeing and delightful to choose my own name to move forwards with. My great aunty was one of life’s amazing people, who I think everyone would love to have met. I can only hope to embody a bit of her spirit as well as her name, and give people a hint at how incredible she was 🙂

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  9. What a lovely name, and lovely story! And you don’t even have to change your handle lrconsiderer if you don’t want to, because you’re Lizzi Rene, dayyyummm!

    My mom wrote a gospel song back in the 80s, and the words have always stuck with me:

    I will change your name
    You shall no longer be called
    Wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid
    I will change your name
    Your new name shall be
    Confidence, joyfulness, overcoming one
    Faithfulness, friend of God, one who seeks My face.

    I’ll sing it for you sometime, if you’d like. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That sounds like a cool song – I like the idea of changing the meanings surrounding a name, to something far more affirming 🙂 It sounds beautiful, and by all means sing it 🙂

      And YES – I was a bit pleased about not having to change the R in all my social medias! *phew* 😉

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  10. You coulda been a Skywalker!! Missed opportunity!! Le sigh…

    Anyhow, I’m glad to hear your plan is falling into place. It’s nice to “meet” you. But, no matter what you call yourself, you’ll always be the one of the most amazing people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awwh thank you! I’m so happy with it, too! I love that it’s sunshine-sounding. That’s rather extra-perfect to me, because SUNSHINE *shivers and wishes for some right now*. I’ve been on cloud nine all day, because of this 🙂

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    • Hey Anna, I LOVE that idea – that as adults we all get a ‘do-over’ at our own identity, and get to choose what we’d like to proceed as. I suspect kids would be named far less ridiculous things if their parents knew they might change it one day – I wonder whether there would be a sudden abundance of really carefully-chosen, beautiful names 🙂

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    • Now THAT I like immensely, though I daresay it pertains to reputation as well, so I could be more careful of that, I suspect. But thank you, and YES! I think it suits me to a T! 😀 I’m glad you like it.

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  11. My name has so many spellings: Carrie, Keri, Kerri, and my Kerry. I got the “y” and it is often the last guess from people trying to spell it.
    My middle name is same as a cousin’s middle name, but no real big story or connection there. The only reason my mom went with the first name like it is is that there was a lady having a baby in the same room where I was and her name was Kerry spelled the same. My parents had a Kim already and liked having two K girls and they chose the spelling when the lady recommended it highly.
    🙂
    My last name is Polish and I can’t really now imagine, through any future relationship, changing it. I am not quite sure why that is. It is complicated and again, people can’t spell or even pronounce it.
    I have seriousluy considered going by Kerry Kay as an author name, if I continue with writing in the future. Kay is my mom’s middle name and I like the continuation of the K thing, but it’s not just the initial.
    Well, nice to meet you as this new name you’ve chosen for yourself. As I’ve never met you in person with the name you’ve had iup until now, I can possibly someday meet you and know you that way, more than I now know you, as the woman you truly wish to be. I do enjoy the wizz fizz sound you do have with Lizzi.

    Liked by 1 person

    • *grinning* Kerry Kay is an AWESOME author name, and I love the alliteration as well as the homage it would pay to your mom.

      It’s funny, isn’t it, where our names come from. Yours is a great story. I suspect that the alternative spellings are more to do with the expectations of the people around you – here, I would absolutely expect your name to be spelled the way it is.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. 🙂 It’s awesome and something I can very much relate to – although I’ve not officially changed my name except with marriage as is the custom for women here. But I get the bulling and stuff – sigh. People can sometimes be so cruel.

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  13. Lizzi Rene Lewis is a wonderful name. (and you’re wonderful). I love that you incorporated a name you chose for you (Lizzi is part of your being) Rene for history and tribute, and Lewis because writing and philosophizing are so much of who you are. Love you no matter what you’re called. I’ve been Ms. since Gloria Steinem invented the title.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well THERE’S something I didn’t know! Good for Gloria Steinem! I’m so pleased to be able to hide behind it, leaving people to draw their own conclusions (as I’m sure they will). I feel in great company now 🙂

      And THANK YOU, my OceanHeart, for such beautiful thoughts about each of my names. I rather love that the writing and philosophising is so much a part of my new name – I was delighted by the thought of that particular tribute.

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  14. Lizzi Rene Lewis, my one and only Bezzie, this post made my heart soar because it’s another thing to add to the things we have in common – we have both changed our names in order to make our outer selves match up more closely with our inner selves.

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  15. My Lovely Sparkle! I love your new name! This calls for iridescent confetti and Evan’s sparkly sneeze to brighten up the skies.

    There goes so much more into a name than most people realise, huh? I’m so very beyond happy that you are becoming more you like you how see yourself. And your Great Aunt Rene, she sounds like the most wonderful lady. That’s such a lovely photo of her and to carry her name must feel like a warm fluffy blanket filled with love and sparkles. 🙂

    I’m raising my tea cup in the air for you!! Big big hugs from Rotterdam.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, beautiful Apfel. I’m raising my tea-cup back to you, and sending big hugs and sparkly clouds of rainbow smoke all the way back to wrap around you with love and light.

      I hope I become more like other people see me, if I’m honest. I hope I become a bit more like Rene (who, yes, was SO wonderful), and a bit like Lewis Thomas. I hope I become the person my friends think I am, and even more!

      HUGE thought has to go into a name. I remember when Exby and I were picking names for the children we never had, we had reasons for every name we chose 🙂 I loved that. I’ve forgotten all but two of the names now, though.

      OH! And last night, I had an amazing dream that I was a dragon. I was a huge, winged monster with red scales, and I was immensely powerful, and I was leaping and flying through a forest, not sure WHY, but it was an incredible feeling of strength.

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      • Ahh thank YOU, my wonderfully sweet Sparkle! *is surrounded by love and light and magical fluffiness* ^_^

        I’m not sure if you’re already back from The States now? Time has flown by lately as I spent the majority at my parents due my sister and mum being very ill with the flu. I didn’t have my laptop with me and I dislike doing ton of work on my tablet, so I only did the minimum. Trying to go with the flooooow…haha. *ahem* I wasn’t too amused for a while though. Hehe.

        You know, I do feel that the people you surround yourself with, the ones that make you happy, that they reflect something back to you that you already have. What I see in you, well a few of the things that I see, are magic, sparkles and a huge sense of adventure through words and imaginative worlds. I have these things too, but whenever we have our little adventures with Evan, it’s always that much more special and magical. I love it ^_^

        I’ve no doubts that you will become the person your friends know you are and more. It’s always a journey, right? My mum also gave a lot of thought in our names and their meaning. I think it’s a privilege when you can name a child or yourself.

        YOUR DREAM!! How very amazing is that?! Ohh it’s your inner-power, showing you that you will conquer whatever comes onto your path. Soooo awesome. Ahh I’m excited! Could you see your eyes? Oh my gosh! If you dream it again and a little dragon will join you…I wonder if that’s Evan. ^_^

        *twirls around with happiness*
        ❤ ❤ ❤

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        • Heheh I couldn’t see my eyes, but I loved feeling so powerful. I like the idea that it’s my inner strength – that would be AWESOME!

          I think it’s a huge privilege to name a child, and I’m glad your names had such thought and care put into them. I’m sure mine did too, but there just didn’t seem to be a reason for them, particularly.

          Our adventures with Evan are WONDERFUL, and we must write some more soon, but life takes over, doesn’t it. I’m glad he’s patient, poor thing! I’m gladder you’re over the flu though – how awful! No wonder you didn’t feel like struggling to be online and be ‘present’. I hope you were most beautifully looked after.

          I’m back. I came back on Sunday and I’ve been a bit mopey ever since, which is horrid for my family, I’m sure. I need to get over this tiredness and buck my ideas up, rather than wishing the time away with hopeless dreaming. It’s all about the waiting and baby steps now.

          And thank you SO MUCH for saying such wonderful things about how you think my friends see me, and how you see me. Tonight, when I feel depleted and sad and useless, that SO helped ❤ You're amazing *HUGS*

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          • Ohh I do feel it’s your inner-strength! It’s such an amazing dream. ^_^

            We really have to write more of our Evan story! I started with saving our tid-bits of chats, but then I stopped as I wasn’t always behind the laptop! Ohh I didn’t have the flu, my sister did and my mum. They are on the mend now, but I am not feeling super great today! I’ve been taking my vitamins and special tea (with honey, cinnamon, cider vinegar etc), but I really hope I’m not getting sick as this flu is NO joke! I didn’t feel like being online as much as I did so much at home that I often just sketched things or practiced my Japanese and was too tired to take proper photos for IG (did a bit of re-branding so that’s why the photos are more “professional” looking hehe)

            Aww I can so understand feeling mopey now. *hugs* Just keep your goal in mind and take all the small steps you can to make it happen. You will succeed as you continue to manifest it in your world. Always aim to capture your dreams, Sparkle, don’t just chase them, okay?

            I mean every single word I said about how I see you and how your friends see you. ❤ I do hope today is a day with new energy and less sadness for you. You are equally as amazing. ❤ hugs, hugs, hugssss!

            I’m going to try and do a voice-over for a Youtube video now haha! Let’s see if I can talk, because I feel quite floaty today. Hehe

            xoxo

            Liked by 1 person

            • OH! I misunderstood! Well don’t you go getting sick now, especially after you’ve had such a tough time caring for everyone else! I’m glad you’re looking after yourself with vitamins and tea! Keep doing that 🙂

              I’ve loved your tiny flowers and trees series you’ve been sharing lately. They’re beautiful. It seems as though IG is doing wonderful things for you, which is awesome 🙂

              And yes. I need to listen to you, because you’ve DONE this – you’ve found your dream and changed your world and made it happen. I shall keep trying to find ways to move things forward and take those baby steps I keep hearing about 🙂 I shall aim to capture those dreams and keep them 🙂 🙂

              And thank you ❤ ❤ ❤

              Liked by 1 person

              • Haha no worries!! I am still doing fine here, not sick or anything, but I won’t stop with the tea and vitamins!

                Aww thank you! I do really enjoy painting the flowers and trees. I have to create some products with it now though and I have to finish my own challenge of having 25 Tiny Dreamy Worlds. I only shared 6, but I already have around 10 waiting to be painted. Mostly mermaids as I’m a bit biased to how much I like them haha. But I will add some more animals and other characters too. ^_^

                Ah IG is my main playground for now. That and I will focus on Pinterest. FB and Twitter are still okay to use, but I don’t use it that often.

                I will ALWAYS cheer you on, lovely Sparkle! I am not at the level where I want to be just yet, but I know that it’s not impossible to capture your dreams. It all goes in phases, I think. My next phase is to add the travel aspect in it and find a way to live abroad here and there without it being too much of a hassle. I have to remind myself of the baby steps as well, as I have plenty of days where I feel I haven’t done enough. But okay, baby steps. Hehe. 🙂

                I hope your weekend is wonderful ❤ xoxoxo

                Liked by 1 person

                • My weekend has begun this evening with Epic Naps, which were utterly necessary and are currently (just about) keeping body and soul together. Thank goodness for the rain (not one I’m often thankful for) and for a cancelled game of netball!

                  Glad you’re not sick – I shall continue to send hopes and wishes for health and the effectiveness of the tea and vitamins 🙂

                  I like that you’re doing the tiny worlds with mermaids. I also love that when I went over to Murica and stayed with Beth, I saw the print of your ‘Squishies’ on her desk, and they made me smile each time I looked at them. Such wonderful connections through this World Between the Wires.

                  I don’t think I knew you had plans of living abroad! That’s very exciting 🙂 The hassle thing, though – I feel ya there!

                  Hope your weekend is a beautiful one, and that you feel productive and happy with all you do 🙂

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • Ohhh I forgot that Beth had a print of the Squishies!! How fun is that?! ^_^ It’s still so surreal to me that people have my art in the homes. It truly makes me happy.

                    The abroad living is like spending e.g. 2 months somewhere and then come back or travel to a different place. Still working and thinking about the finer details though, but it is doable. It does mean a different way of living, but I’m up for a proper change 🙂

                    Have a wonderful day! Can’t believe the weekend is almost here again.

                    *waves*

                    Liked by 1 person

  16. It is a pleasure to meet you …how wonderful for you …

    Congratulations, my dear your name is lovely.

    What a wonderful gift that you can give yourself a true proud moment for the rest of your life….smile your older self just bowed to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it’s rather a momentous day! I love that I made the change the day after I arrived back from America. It’s a definite step towards my dreams. I hope my older self will be pleased with me 🙂 🙂

      Like

  17. “Today you are you, this is truer than true. There is no-one alive who is you’er than you” 🙂 Love the new name, Lizzi R Lewis… and so glad you kept ‘Lizzi’, because. Lizzi is you, this is truer than true. There is no-one alive more Lizzi than you. 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

    • You see, by this name I LOVE being part of the world. I have no negative associations with my name and am just utterly happy to be here. But thank you, it’s lovely to know that it’s the ‘me’ bit that counts really ^-^

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  18. Yey. I’m happy that my twinkly one has kept the Lizzi part of her, because that’s the part of her I know and love, The middle name is a fabulous choice, my maternal Grandma’s shortened name and she was always great for a childish giggle about willies and bums… I’m looking forward to seeing the happy, shiny Lizzi Rene Lewis 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehehe my Rene would have laughed about those things too, I reckon. And YAY for keeping the twinkly part and adding extra sparkle. A name change, as you know, is a WONDERFULLY freeing thing 🙂

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  19. Well now! Nice to meet you and congrats! Names are certainly funny things. We can attach a lot of relevance to them and love or hate them. I really like my names because they all have some degree of symbolism/reference/linking. I attach a lot of symbolism to names…even in stories, I have to know the meanings of names for my characters.

    Bullies called me “Nerd!” rather than use my name, so I was spared that indignity.
    The closest that got was a friendly teacher in primary who added a rhyme to my name (it rhymes with bear….). In my high school, another teacher gave out nicknames to “be funny”, but I had the sort of friendly face which was easy to remember, so no play-on-words nickname there! My first name’s only conflict is how many put an ‘i’ in it (that’s the French way, mine’s the Irish :P) – and it’s too small for nicknames. The middle one is a bit more of a mouthful and interesting spelling….I already know I’d like to name a potential daughter (one day) that name, with her middle name after my grandmother, perhaps. I also know what name I’d like to name a potential son.
    How weird is that? I’m years off having kids….

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t think it’s weird – I think it makes sense to consider yourself within the context of your family history and ponder the ways you might extend the traditions to the next generation. It’s possibly one of the most natural thought processes there is, down to playing ‘families’ as a toddler, and modelling the things you see. We’re all concerned with our legacy somehow.

      I could never decide whether names which couldn’t be shortened were better or worse. My sister has a name which is tough to shorten, yet we do anyway, and I wonder how she feels about it.

      I’m glad your bullies left your name alone. Perhaps a foisted target name is easier to detach from – I know that the other names I was called still give me a pang to my insides if I think of them.

      I’m glad you like your names, and their symbolism 🙂 Glad to meet you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. When I was in elementary school, all the girls had names that ended with “y” or “ie”. Cristy. Terrie. Jamie. Patty. Then they all wanted to change their names to end in “i” because they thought that was cooler. “Cristy” became “Cristi” etc. The teacher told them they couldn’t do that and made them go back to their given spelling (even telling Patti she had to change HERS and she really WAS Patti with an “i”). And I sat there and wondered why they wanted to change the spelling when they had a cool name to begin with, unlike me.
    Be who you wanna be, sister!

    Liked by 1 person

    • HA! So you’re telling me that rather than a stroke of genius in my teens, I hit on a very old-fashioned idea and let it re-run? *giggling* That’s hilarious.

      Teachers, though – SO frustrating! That said, I can only imagine the dismay of having to suddenly change your spelling for half the class from how you knew it, so perhaps your teacher deserves some sympathy.

      I think your name’s cool. I think it’s spelled very prettily, but I know you’ve spoken before about not being keen! I like to play with your name and turn it into Dyannedellion – I hope you don’t mind that. Strikes me I did it rather without asking or getting any feedback 😉

      But YES to being who we want 🙂

      Like

    • Not at all stupid. Happy tears, my friend, and the light and hope of a new beginning, a new chapter, and finally a new me, with all the best bits of the old one, and hopefully fewer of the worse aspects ^-^ Onwards and Upwards indeed 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  21. How very wonderfully beautiful! I am so happy to meet you! Again, not yet in person, but someday- as you are now and to the future you! Who no doubt, to the sound of sparkles spinning in a fast wind will spread love everywhere.

    I thought of the name, those of which we were given at birth and how we fought them fitting us and later how we just accepted them, then changed them slightly.

    As a girl, I hated my name. It was not uniquely ridiculed and often referred to as an old lady name, crude sounding- not fitting for a little girl. My aunt and no few teachers tended to call me Rachel or Bridget, till I wanted desperately to change my name to something else. I was nicknamed with things like Grits, Greta, Gertie and later Gigi or G. Anything so people wouldn’t have to say my actual name and I would express, rather dramatically, “It’s Gretchen- just Gretchen. Not Gretch, or G or anything else.” As a teenager I started to love my name, for its uniqueness. For the fact I was the only one in a rather large graduating class. I always knew it was me some one was addressing. Never had to worry about that.

    But my mother in her wisdom to pay homage to every matriarch in my (absent) father’s side of the family gave me the flowing name of Gretchen Marie Julia Allen… and in the end (causing Jealousy in my sister with her 2 very simple common names- sorry Amanda Leigh) I still always felt, there is an author or an actress in that name… I never took my first husband’s name- perhaps it was foresight or the fact that Argueta just didn’t seem to go with my gloriously artistic first name..

    Cost me nothing once I went for freedom at last.

    Then I remarried and somehow, Kellaway it held the same sound, same artistic flow.

    Ah names, they define us, create us…

    And I love the one you created for yourself. ♡

    Look at that comment, sorry for taking up so much space in your comment section!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Are you kidding? This is a gorgeous comment – exactly the kind I like – which understands my story within the context of your own. It’s connection, and commenting at it’s best!

      I always liked your name, since I first read it – it trips off the tongue most beautifully, and I could easily see it being well-known and widely loved. I’m glad you waited and didn’t change it the first time around, and yes – I suppose having a name so…I want to say ‘outside of fashion’, without seeming rude (and immediately it strikes me that the name Elizabeth is rarely off the ‘top whatever’ lists, so again I wonder if it was a lack of inspiration which gave me my name), but can’t think of the right term, so that *kind* of ilk, if you get me…would assure that you retained a certain presence. I can see how the shortening would bother you though, and it sounds as though once you came to accept and appreciate your name, you liked having it, which is awesome.

      Gigi is a nickname I have for a dear friend, and G is my nickname for the other Gretchen in my life (I assume you know her – Gretchen Kelly, who blogs at Drifting Through your Open Mind (and seriously, if you don’t know her, GET to know her – she’s a delight)). Gretchen is a name I came to know first when I fell head over heels for a dear little girl whose profile was on the Reese’s Rainbows website. Alas I could never adopt her, because for various reasons I’m not eligible, and goodness knows what’s happened to her now, because I think she’s aged past the limit for adoption from her institution in whatever European backwater country she was stuck inside. But I still think of her and send hopeful, warm thoughts into the universe for her.

      ANYWAY I digress! I’m very pleased to meet you, and yes, someday, in person 🙂

      Like

  22. Well, Ms. Lizzi Rene Lewis, a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I don’t remember how long ago I first read Lewis Thomas, and very much approve that choice. Names are funny things, after all, it is true, “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • YES! For true and for reals, absolutely YES! And did you? I kinda want to know now…do you think you’d ever write about it?

      Thank you though – I feel as though this is a big step, even though this was the easy bit.

      Liked by 1 person

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