Ten Things of Thankful 133 (Looking back) #10Thankful

Prompted by a consider-inducing post about vision boards, I thought for about 13 seconds about what my board would have on it, should I choose to create one. Initially I thought about putting a map of America on it, but that’s too blunt; too black-and-white, and as you well know, I tend to be far better at spending life muddling around, softly through the greys.

I wondered about aeroplanes or packed bags, or pictures of laptops and writing implements. I pondered the relative merits of adding beautiful words in fancy scripts to embody the concepts too complex to be rendered in imagery. It’s amazing the amount you can think in 13 seconds, but none of the things I thunk were any good. They weren’t quite ‘it’.

2015 Looking back

I had to think for considerably longer to establish what my vision board would have on it – faces. Just faces; of the people I love and want to see more of. Friends, family, loved ones near and far. Those who I can walk to see; those I must drive to see; and those far-far-away at the other end of plane-rides. Those I know intimately. Those I only know through the internet. Those I’ve bonded with. Those I’ve developed beautiful, contextual connections with. Those I know everything about, and those I know relatively little of, in the grander scheme of things. Those I know I get to keep for a short while, and those I hope to keep forever.

Those faces, each one igniting sparks of beauty and *them*ness in my heart.

It’s gonna need to be a gigantic, hunormic board!

I let myself daydream then (for so many more seconds than 13) and I reminisced on some of my favourite parts of the year, especially the wonders and delights of my trip to Murica, my mind filled and delighting in the memories of close times spent with people in whose presence I became more *twinklysparkly* than I think even *I* knew was possible.

2015 changed me profoundly. SO many things happened which broke or built me, forever altering the course of my life and how I view myself. On the whole, for the better. So very much for the better. I have embraced the idea of Becoming, and have begun to work at it, loosing the cords of unreasonable expectations (sometimes) and opening my mind and heart to new experiences.

My year began with misery and ended with elephants. I’m excited about 2016 and I have plans, ohBOY do I have plans. But they will wait for another post* so I’m going to borrow some pre-fab ‘look back’ prompts because I still haven’t any idea how to exit 2015 (except to be confident that it will happen with or without my readiness, thank goodness).

What was the best thing which happened to you this year? My trip to Murica, without a doubt.

What did you do that you were really proud of? Completed my qualification at work.

Who did you really help? I was a good friend an a good encourager to all sorts of people. Does that count? I chipped in to support the Big Things Which Mattered, of course, but on a personal level, I think I probably helped a number of people in varying ways. That’s a good feeling.

Who should you thank and acknowledge for having been there for you? My Mum and WonderAunty, my Sister, Soulie, my friends. And always, every day, my 1000mile heart and my BlogWife.

What are the top three lessons you’ve learned? I’ve learned to be less of a judgysaurus rex; to open my mind and heart to new experiences, new ideas and just…new; and that divorce is NOT the end of the world, by a long, long chalk, even though my future has changed entirely.

What increased your happiness and joy this year? Sad to say it, but divorce really, really did. But it did for Husby, as well. Even though we’re technically not divorced yet (cos these things seem to take a long long long long time). We’re both far happier apart than we were together, and the last two times we’ve seen each other, we’ve even been friendly.

What did you get through that was really tough? Coming back to England. So, so much grief and loss, all tangled up in death, abuse, heartbreak, and desperately missing some of the best people I could ever hope to have met through the Blogosphere.

What did you avoid that you’d be wise to pay more attention to next year? Learning to count. Seriously though – financials. I’m not good with them, and when I move they’ll be all over the place even more! My pension plan may involve begging…

What character trait did you develop most this year? Determination, perhaps. Or glitteriness. Or both. Certainly the ability to live life in Silver Linings.

Which new people did you meet who are now part of your life? How long have you got? *grinning* I met some of the most beautiful people In Real for the first time this year, and I LOVE that they’re now (more than ever) part of my life. Long may this continue, and I shall hope for many, many more meetings of wonderful people in future – I’m going to make each of them Real until I run out of Everyones.

If all the year were condensed to one experience; snuggled under a blanket with someone I adore the very atoms of, watching the planets dance as music played and soul-deep memories were crafted in light and beauty and love, I would be content.

2015. It was a Very Good year. I am content.

 

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*Yes, when one adds a star, one might usually expect a footnote explaining its presence, but in this case it requires (as did the other) an entirely new blog post to itself. Please take this star (and the other, last week) as implicit “Watch this space”s…

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40 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful 133 (Looking back) #10Thankful

  1. Hella year, huh? I can’t wait to see what you do in 2016 to top it! I’m happy to have been a small part of your year, and I think you should put a blimp on your vision board.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha YES! I would love that. I’d love to see a blimp. Specifically a blimp with you and Christine…if only that could be engineered!

      Yup. One hella year, but AWESOME in so many ways, and I love that you were a part of it 🙂

      Like

  2. Looking back helps celebrate the good stuff and takes the rough edges off the bad stuff. Meeting you also made my list of highlights for 2015. Love you, girl. Happy New Year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awwwh I love that. My whole trip was just a MASSIVE highlight. I so, so very needed it, and meeting you all was utterly delightful but just…NOT LONG ENOUGH!

      Time does help smooth the rough edges but I think I’m gonna need more time to get properly over 2015. I’m glad for THIS year though, and all our varied plans 🙂 Much love to you, OceanHeart ❤

      Like

  3. Determination, glitteriness and the ability live life in silver linings sound like the trifecta of character traits.
    I think your glitteriness is both literal and metaphorical.
    (It’s just literal around here.)
    Wishing you a 2016 with even more glitter and love and sunshine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much. I so most definitely need MORE SUNSHINE in my life. Today it took me by surprise and actually SCARED me because I thought something outdoors had blown up because there was this sudden, big, weird light…but no…it was the sun, which I hadn’t seen for so long I’d forgotten what it looked like!

      I’ll keep trying to live by that trifecta. So far so good. Glitter and party rings to your corner of TX xo

      Like

    • Thank you, May. I’ll keep aiming to live that way – it makes such a difference to know that no matter how gloomy the clouds of life become, the sun DOES shine around the edges. Happy New Year to you, too 🙂

      Like

    • Awwwh I’m so glad you like this, and my answers. It was GLORIOUS to meet you. I still remember with such vividness how we got lost in the dark, walked and talked and walked and talked, and LAUGHED…how we smelled the roses and were as crazywonderful in Real as we ever have been here. THANK YOU for the wonderful gift of your friendship, and for being part of my world ❤

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  4. That was quite a year. Finding out that online friends are exactly as we thought is precious. I met one too last year, she coming over from Canada and it was amazing to connect IRL. Hugs aplenty. 🙂
    I hope 2016 brings you more precious moments and faces to build on your board.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It really WAS quite a year! I love that you met someone too, last year, and that she was as wonderful as you hoped. It’s glorious when people are exactly how you thought they might be 🙂

      I hope your 2016 is likewise filled with moments of happiness and great love 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Been following your blog for a while and your exciting trip to the United States. I just have to ask why you keep referring to our beautiful country by a name other than what it is. I don’t even know what “Murica” is. Thanks. Maybe it’s a British thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I would have to think this has been one of the biggest years of your life. So many things happened! So many changes and plans and meeting people. A big year. There’s no need to worry how you will bring in the new year. It’s coming even if you sleep through the parties. (HA! You? Sleep? 😉 ) But boy, it’s gonna be another big one for you! I’m looking forward to seeing how it all plays out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think it probably has been one of the biggest years of my life, and I hope that next year will be the same, if not bigger and better and more wonderful in ways I can’t yet conceive.

      The new year happened, with Scrabble by an open fire, and red wine at midnight, and celebrations tinged with sudden sadness and the reminder that life is never certain, and doesn’t always go on. The three of us are here though, and we sent you all good wishes and love, from our hearts to yours (WonderAunty adds that it’s reassuring and lovely to know that you’re in the world).

      Watch this space…

      Like

    • Awwwh bless your boots, dear one! I LOVED meeting you, so much, and I’m still debating whether or not I can manage to wear my Tiara back to the US soon – make it kind of a travel tradition 😉

      Like

    • Awh well THANK YOU! You seem to have swept in from nowhere and taken my online world by storm. I see you everywhere, encouraging and sharing my friends, and cheering us all on. I’m very glad to have met you in this world between the wires 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Right now, on the radio is “Candide” – professor Pangloss is singing “The Best of all Possible Worlds.” — There is so much positive going on, even in various people’s times of confusion, pain, and self-doubt, that cheering on is irresistible, and huge fun. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

        • I don’t know it, but it sounds wonderful. There is SO much good in the world, and I think everyone is gearing towards a far more enlightened, compassionate way of living. Formerly hidden truths are becoming inescapable and we are increasingly running out of ways to bury our heads in the sand, choosing instead to step up, take responsibility, and start fixing the world. I LOVE being part of it.

          Like

          • The Broadway musical, “Candide” by Leonard Bernstein is based on the the play by Voltaire of the same title. It is great fun. Something I’ve found about the social media, at least FB (haven’t done Twitter) is that many people take it as an opportunity to be either their best or worst self, the worst self often expressed in self-righteous abuse of anybody they find a way to disagree with or disapprove of. I don’t hang out with that sort. It’s the real “best selfers” I want to be with and by golly, I have found them. And there, I think, is the seed of a blog post that needs writing. HeHehe

            Liked by 2 people

            • I await your blog post with bated breath – it sounds like Voltaire has some pertinence! Unless I’ve utterly misread, which is entirely possible.

              I’ve seen those people, too. Fortunately I don’t think I know any 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

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