Prompted by a consider-inducing post about vision boards, I thought for about 13 seconds about what my board would have on it, should I choose to create one. Initially I thought about putting a map of America on it, but that’s too blunt; too black-and-white, and as you well know, I tend to be far better at spending life muddling around, softly through the greys.
I wondered about aeroplanes or packed bags, or pictures of laptops and writing implements. I pondered the relative merits of adding beautiful words in fancy scripts to embody the concepts too complex to be rendered in imagery. It’s amazing the amount you can think in 13 seconds, but none of the things I thunk were any good. They weren’t quite ‘it’.
I had to think for considerably longer to establish what my vision board would have on it – faces. Just faces; of the people I love and want to see more of. Friends, family, loved ones near and far. Those who I can walk to see; those I must drive to see; and those far-far-away at the other end of plane-rides. Those I know intimately. Those I only know through the internet. Those I’ve bonded with. Those I’ve developed beautiful, contextual connections with. Those I know everything about, and those I know relatively little of, in the grander scheme of things. Those I know I get to keep for a short while, and those I hope to keep forever.
Those faces, each one igniting sparks of beauty and *them*ness in my heart.
It’s gonna need to be a gigantic, hunormic board!
I let myself daydream then (for so many more seconds than 13) and I reminisced on some of my favourite parts of the year, especially the wonders and delights of my trip to Murica, my mind filled and delighting in the memories of close times spent with people in whose presence I became more *twinklysparkly* than I think even *I* knew was possible.
2015 changed me profoundly. SO many things happened which broke or built me, forever altering the course of my life and how I view myself. On the whole, for the better. So very much for the better. I have embraced the idea of Becoming, and have begun to work at it, loosing the cords of unreasonable expectations (sometimes) and opening my mind and heart to new experiences.
My year began with misery and ended with elephants. I’m excited about 2016 and I have plans, ohBOY do I have plans. But they will wait for another post* so I’m going to borrow some pre-fab ‘look back’ prompts because I still haven’t any idea how to exit 2015 (except to be confident that it will happen with or without my readiness, thank goodness).
What was the best thing which happened to you this year? My trip to Murica, without a doubt.
What did you do that you were really proud of? Completed my qualification at work.
Who did you really help? I was a good friend an a good encourager to all sorts of people. Does that count? I chipped in to support the Big Things Which Mattered, of course, but on a personal level, I think I probably helped a number of people in varying ways. That’s a good feeling.
What are the top three lessons you’ve learned? I’ve learned to be less of a judgysaurus rex; to open my mind and heart to new experiences, new ideas and just…new; and that divorce is NOT the end of the world, by a long, long chalk, even though my future has changed entirely.
What increased your happiness and joy this year? Sad to say it, but divorce really, really did. But it did for Husby, as well. Even though we’re technically not divorced yet (cos these things seem to take a long long long long time). We’re both far happier apart than we were together, and the last two times we’ve seen each other, we’ve even been friendly.
What did you get through that was really tough? Coming back to England. So, so much grief and loss, all tangled up in death, abuse, heartbreak, and desperately missing some of the best people I could ever hope to have met through the Blogosphere.
What did you avoid that you’d be wise to pay more attention to next year? Learning to count. Seriously though – financials. I’m not good with them, and when I move they’ll be all over the place even more! My pension plan may involve begging…
What character trait did you develop most this year? Determination, perhaps. Or glitteriness. Or both. Certainly the ability to live life in Silver Linings.
Which new people did you meet who are now part of your life? How long have you got? *grinning* I met some of the most beautiful people In Real for the first time this year, and I LOVE that they’re now (more than ever) part of my life. Long may this continue, and I shall hope for many, many more meetings of wonderful people in future – I’m going to make each of them Real until I run out of Everyones.
If all the year were condensed to one experience; snuggled under a blanket with someone I adore the very atoms of, watching the planets dance as music played and soul-deep memories were crafted in light and beauty and love, I would be content.
2015. It was a Very Good year. I am content.
*Yes, when one adds a star, one might usually expect a footnote explaining its presence, but in this case it requires (as did the other) an entirely new blog post to itself. Please take this star (and the other, last week) as implicit “Watch this space”s…