Ten Things of Thankful 124 (On Happy Endings) #10Thankful

If only we could just begin with the happy ending and have done with it, after all, that’s why we’re here. That’s why we get up every day – the quest for that happy ending.

None of us would get out of bed otherwise. And maybe that’s the happy ending – we’re still here, getting up, every day. Striving.

Because whatever the world might look like in 1000 years, as I was reminded, it doesn’t matter about the arbitrary number you set out there to measure the future; it’s the minutes and moments leading up to it that count. Whatever goal you set for yourself – whether to change your stars, set your whole life on a different trajectory, or just to get through the weekend – you can’t just take the happy ending, stick it at the beginning of your story, and claim it. Because every second leading up to that happy ending is integral to achieving it.

A Thousand Years From Now

Without the striving it won’t happen. Without every back-breaking, soul-crushing minute in between, it cannot exist. As with every quest, there is bound to be dissonance with the way things are, lest why would you want to change them? There needs to be hope that something more glorious awaits, if only you travel the right path and negotiate the obstacles it sets out. You must have the determination to beat back the dragons along the way, steadfast in the knowledge that better days are ahead, if you make it.

Life is sent to try us, and if we had an easy ride to everything we wanted, we would never know that our struggles lead to endurance, which requires us to persevere. Perseverance begets character, and somehow, character gives us hope – that we who have struggled, will succeed.

The building of character and instilling of hope seems to be something which occurs regardless of the ending, and if our best endeavours leave us dead in a ditch somewhere, at least we know we will have gone in a blaze of glory, as a more well-rounded person.

I have always seen myself as something of a dim-witted, accidental stoic.

Historically, my track record suggests that despite not liking a situation and my position within it, I plod on, simply not realising there is an alternative. I have never had the imagination to stop the world and get off. By now, I think I must call it habit – that I endure and persevere, but without the awareness which might build character. Head down, I get on. And on. And on. And on with it. Even in the face of others who suggest that stopping the world and disembarking is the right thing to do.

Perhaps this is the price of egocentricity – that I am unable to see the truth in another’s  eyes; that there is an alternative. Or perhaps I have always been too scared to rock the boat. Too afraid of the pieces which might fall out if I turned life upside-down and shook it. Hard.

The thing is, to make forward-movement (even with dissonance inspiring you with jangled chords) you need to be in possession of sufficient self-awareness to grasp the concept that things could be different, and begin to plan how you might get there. Without that, you’re on a treadmill of dashed ideals, wishing that *something* could change, never knowing really what.

Whilst it’s good not to have an ending that’s too precise (lest you set yourself up for disappointment when it doesn’t materialise the way you wanted), an amorphous ending does nobody any favours. Without a point to your endeavours, you are a quester in search of a cause. There is no point trying to change your stars for a happy ending if you won’t at least look up.

So look UP, already.

Look UP theres your happy ending

*I* finally have.

I am determined. I am sending ships out every day – new lines of enquiry; new intentions; developing plans; networking; connecting – and one day, my boat will surely come in, and the future will begin to appear on the horizon.

And I’m thankful. I no longer feel as though I am marking time, waiting. I have a goal, and though it might seem ridiculous, if the proving is in the journey, then I at least have something to aim for. That said, regardless of the future and my uncertainty about the ending, I AM committed to enjoying the ‘Now’s.

The ‘Now’s can be pretty damn glorious, too.

And perhaps there is the happy ending – unexpectedly, smack-dab in the middle of the story, as it still unfolds. Because every moment you live is the culmination of all those moments which went before. If it’s a good moment, then you win. And if it’s a bad one, then you know that change is inevitable, there’s another side (which you will get to), and in the meantime you’re building character, so you win anyway.

Have a happy ending. Right now.

And a good weekend.

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48 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful 124 (On Happy Endings) #10Thankful

  1. Pingback: Ten Things of Thankful 125 (Juxtaposition) #10Thankful | Considerings

  2. Beautifully written, Lizzi. So many times people disregard the journey when a goal has been set, but it’s through those journeys that we really find ourselves and (in my experience) the goal seems superfluous in the end. We live in a society of convenience and too many times we want what we want without any deterrence or work. Yet anything worth gaining is through blood, sweat and tears because it makes the end that much sweeter. Mathair used to say and still does to this day that life is a train and you gotta ride that bad boy ’til the wheels fall off. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You wrote such a wonderful post. Keep writing and thinking those beautiful ideas, and it will truly become a part of you, even if you may feel you aren’t where you want to be just yet. Those words will keep surfacing and help you along your way. Your words are very inspiring.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As I read through the post, I kept thinking, “Keeping a goal in mind is good, but don’t give up on the fun and blessings of each day as you work towards that goal!” And then you got there without me having to say it. 🙂
    As you know, I’m not much of a goal-maker, but with all of the changes in my days lately, I decided I had to take charge. If I didn’t, other people would find ways to fill my time, and it wouldn’t be in the way I’d most want to fill them, even if they are good, helpful things. We do have to take charge of our days, both to strive for a goal, but also to embrace the good that comes along the way. But also, we Catholics are firm believers in the power of pain and suffering. We have to embrace that, too.
    You got this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m SO over the pain and suffering (and yes, I agree it has a place, and much to teach, even if I often rail about the lessons).

      Yaknow, it’s three years ago today that I lost Jesse. Only remembered this evening. You (and others) told me then (and since) that the future would be different, always different from then, but okay. And LOOKIT!

      You’re awesome.

      ((To be fair with this post, I was trying to convince myself, and I almost succeeded, but I know I said the right things, so I know I do KNOW it, if that makes sense…))

      Like

  5. Pingback: * Stay with me! | Teachezwell Blog

  6. Because I can’t be serious, I will quote a guy from when I was in high school, “If all the girls were stacked,then no one would be stacked.” If every day were perfection, none of them would be. But hopefully, the good ones outnumber the bad ones. Take a cue from Ivy and make a goal poster (pretty sure that’s not the right name for it) with pictures of what you want to accomplish, and when you’re in one of those valleys, look at it and remind yourself what you want to achieve. And when you’re high up on that peak, look at it and remind yourself how far you’ve come.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ahhh they quoted him (kinda) in The Incredibles “Once everybody’s Super, then NO-ONE WILL BE!!!” and yes – if everything was great all the time, there would be no contrast or catalyst for change. And yet.

      I like the idea of a picture board, but it’s the people…and I have contact with them most days to remind me how far I have yet to go, but how very, very worthwhile it is to do so 🙂

      Like

  7. Um this:
    Because every moment you live is the culmination of all those moments which went before. If it’s a good moment, then you win.

    Win.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I got up with a headache, body ache, and police inside my house. My teen let them in looking for another teen. Upset that they did not bother to get my consent first, I kicked them out. Now, I’m looking out thinking there are better things lined up in my day today. There are many things to be thankful for, the cold, breezy, beautiful day of Halloween, for one thing. My teens are home. Have a nice day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good grief, no, I would be thoroughly pissed about that, too. Good GRIEF! Glad you kicked the teen out. Hope they think long and hard about their part in that.
      There are good things. Yes. I need to think about them too. Thank you. Hope your day improves.

      Like

  9. Denise has beaten me to the don Juan reference, but I’ll still offer his most aggravating advice/suggestion. (btw I totally agree with your stage-setting above, though I might suggest that you under-estimate the availability of the imagination that you exhibit so amply in these pages, to the problem of picturing the next stage.
    We all know how self-improvement guys suggest that goals be defined clearly and made a part of everyday life (through repetition and affirmation, not the redundancy that it appears). What our Castaneda suggests, through don Juan is that we have to not only know that we can achieve the goals, but that we feel as (though) they have been achieved. Already. Before.
    two words: damn!
    (We all know the secret danger of negativity, this, imo, is the flip side of that… to not only be positive but to have the world feel like it’s a done deal.)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ah but in this case the imagining of it, and the how good it could be (even with the awareness that I’m only imagining one possibility, and allowing for the reality to be different) is that I can see the disparity between the ‘then’ and the ‘now’, which makes the ‘now’ a lot harder to bear.

      Like

  10. Aha! That is the key my friend. That is the key. Stopping the world. Don Juan tells of stoping the world. I can tell you it’s a gift. And therein lies access to whatever it is you need. Truly. A concept I am yet unable to put into words. But I can tell you I experienced it yesterday! Didn’t know what to do with the “experience” except to reference it, put it away, knowing somehow it will strengthen me in ways as yet unknown.
    I know. Been awhile since I got all metaphysical on you lol and yet how in sync we are this weekend.
    I had not read your post yet when I wrote mine 🙂 A tad similar. It is a theme that our people share 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I look forward to seeing the parallels.

      Thing is, stopping the world and getting off has never been (in my experience) a good or productive thing, because the world continues, and then the getter-offer is left trying to play catch-up, or worse, they just sink into the mire and stay ‘off’.

      I may need to read more Don Juan to find out what happened there. It might be different. But that ^^^ is another reason why for all the stupidity involved, the plodding does at least keep me going.

      Like

      • Yes, the “stopping the world” I refer to is not what you are thinking. The one I refer to, the reference Clark and I make to don Juan, is a thing, a tool by which to reinforce, motivate and otherwise self support your own self as you go about achieving your goals.
        Yes, by all means read Castaneda. But from me, know that endurence is not necessarily a virtue. Perseverence is not always positive. It is in your nature as a clark to endure. What if you take away the conditions that perpetuate endurance? Think about that 🙂
        You know, I actually do write every day. Just not at my blog. And every day, in some form or fashion, I will write a combination of words, a variation on a theme. The theme? Simply that I know I have the power somewhere within me, the tools all around me, to achieve that which I tell my self I want.
        Word from the wise – do not dwell too long at the well of the “then”. There is only the now. All that you need is here, in the now. But you know this 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Basically you described me…

    “I have always seen myself as something of a dim-witted, accidental stoic.”

    Although I need to add with many idiosyncrasies that one just doesn’t get , or loves me regardless!

    Yet what I do, is hope with my head down..

    And yes I plod as well.. not once saying that’s enough…i can’t it’s ego and fear at its best! I’m convinced;oh how I hope to change things around, one day I will say enough…look up, see my happy ending in the now!!!! our happy endings are here!!!

    Thank you lovely advise, in your face reminder —– correction in my face reminder!!!!!

    🙂 M

    .

    Liked by 1 person

    • *hugs*
      Thing is, I don’t even realise I’m doing it half the time – that plodding along getting things done and being sad or uncomfortable or whatever it is – I just don’t even figure out that there are other ways than the thing I’m doing. I feel desperately stupid that way. 😦

      Glad you found it all helpful though.

      Like

  12. My wonderful Lizzi. It’s all about the journey, isn’t it? And the hope for the future and the “looking up” out of ourselves at the possibilities. I say this often, but I LOVE this post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, as you saw, it was you who set me thinking (I’ll sort out that attribution in a sec, promise!) and if I’m honest, the attempt was to self-motivate as well as be pertinent for anyone else who felt the need for it. But YES to turning over a new leaf and facing the world afresh. I have kinda done that after many tears and an additional coupla hours sleep *sigh* 🙂

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  13. OH Lizzi…I think this is one of the most THOUGHT-FUL and WISE posts you have ever written! YES YES YES to it all!! I sense hope, and determination, and introspection, and motivation in your words… I feel peace in the NOW you are in, and yet such strong intention to make those changes and set your course for NEW and meaningful change toward good things, exciting possibilities to come…

    “And perhaps there is the happy ending – unexpectedly, smack-dab in the middle of the story, as it still unfolds. Because every moment you live is the culmination of all those moments which went before.”
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^LOVE THAT. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Then it’s amazing how convincingly I can write, because I was seriously trying to talk myself into feeling ANY of those things, instead of sadness and hopelessness, which is what I’ve been feeling all week.

      I still want to FEEL like what I wrote…so maybe that’s the bit I need to persevere with.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. This! This! This! I need to read this every day. I am a pessimist by nature. I try so hard not to be. And sometimes I even succeed. I’ll keep plodding along and do my best to live and be happy in the here and now. Thank you for the reminder.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s funny, because when I began writing, I was in quite a hopeless mood – SO tired and gloomy, and in the writing, I gradually got a little bit more determined. I needed the reminder too. So there’s that 🙂

      Like

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