At some point you’re going to get fed up of my inconsistency (if that’s not already a thing) and begin to understand why I have ten faithful co-hosts, the majority of whom are far better at actually DOING the hopping, unlike me, who seems to fall afoul of Real, and ends up just…not.
I’m sad for that. I used to love making sure I got to every single person’s post, and leaving them some encouraging words, but these days…I flake out and don’t make it and then end up drawing a line in the sand lest I get swamped by the overwhelming presence of all those posts I’ve missed.
I’ve always said this is a no-obligation hop, to anyone who’s asked. Either I need to extend that same ‘chill’ factor to myself and allow that I will always do what I can, or I need to stop joining in. At the moment I think I’d rather the former, though I understand completely if you want to take umbrage and ignore what I wrote, because I know I’ve been crap at ‘playing by the rules’ of late. In fact, my only constant is my inconsistency, so go figure.
So here are my attempts at thankfuls:
I’m really really glad to have the heartache and reality check of going to see Jenny each day. It gives a powerfully different lens through which to view my own self-pity, and reminds me that people have ACTUAL problems, and I need to just try to keep letting go of all the things which hurt. Please consider helping her…
With regard those hurts, I’m glad for alcohol. I’m *through gritted teeth* still grateful to Vince for hiding the strong painkillers. I’m glad I got back in touch with the eating disorder clinic, and that I’m going for an assessment after I get back from Murica. I’m also terrified of that, because I’m back in the position of not being sure if I want to be ‘fixed’ because last time that started to happen, I put on weight, and then that caused its own issue. Maybe one day I’ll figure out that whole ‘maturity’ thing, but in the meantime I’m glad to have so many examples around me to observe and learn from.
I’m pleased I was accepted to have a piece published on Club Mid at Scary Mommy; I’m very appreciative of the money towards my Murica trip, and I’m intensely glad for the children around the world who I consider a little bit ‘mine’.
I’m thankful for friends who send me music, and I’m particularly thankful for the following piece, which I’m beginning to hear as less a plaintive cry against someone else, but a lament of the soul, turned inwards. I love it, and at least the music is still playing.
I’m VERY PLEASED about the post this week – important murica-related things arrived, and beautiful, lovely, Murica-bound things were sent. I like that I can do that. It brings me great delight to know that i can have a tangible (and usually sparkly) impact on a friend.
I’m immensely thankful for the people who look after me, care about me and let me know, encourage me, and try their best to put me back together. And I’m SO looking forward to Murica, where I get to meet some of them.= In Real. It will be glorious.
And now I’m thankful for sleep, which is imminent. At some point I might be thankful I was too tired to care I was putting out such an atrocious post, but that time is not now. I’m exhausted and I care that this all a bit crap, but not enough to do anything about it.
See you around the hop, if I make it. Don’t hold your breath, but DO share Jenny’s campaign, if you can – if the breadth of things I’m capable of giving a fuck about is shrinking – and let’s give them a boost.
Your turn…
Your hosts
Join the Ten Things of Thankful Facebook Group, Birck House Chick
You consistently amaze me. Good things are happening and you are an amazing woman who is loved and adored by many. Never forget that. Hugs Lizzi. You never fail to make me smile.
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I’m always glad to make you smile, my Sweetie 🙂 You make my days brighter, too 🙂
Good things ARE happening, aren’t they. I’m very lucky 🙂
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You know, as someone who’s battled eating disorders for years (and was scared to learn how close to the surface they are still hiding), I realized that assessments really don’t help much (at least to me). It took me to realize that I needed to use the incredibly strength of will and discipline that I used to make myself sick to make myself well again. It took years, but I managed to get to a stage where I feel comfortable and secure – at least most of the time. Hugs to you, and many healing vibes across the Channel!
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I don’t need another assessment – I need to see the same lady I saw before. This is a hoop I have to jump through.
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The beauty of this beautiful thing you started is that it is just here when you’re ready. It isn’t “tit for tat” kind of empty vase of a promise of connections. It’s good people, REAL people, with real lives, who do when they can, and just read when they can’t. I hope I can again soon.
I can’t wait to see you in the REAL. Less than a month!
You’re doing such great beautiful, important things for Jenny. Reminding us ALL that good people exist in this Crap Sandwich of a world. Even if they’re FAR AWAY!
*hugs*
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Right this second, that ‘far away’ is killing me.
But thank you. I try. I so try. And I can’t fix everything and it sucks because so much needs fixing, Joy. SO MUCH. But thank you always for your encouragement and example. I can’t WAIT to meet you ❤
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This summer I have taken a hop/comment sabbatical. Which made me laugh when I saw you have the same struggle. of wanting to be supportive but having to draw a line to save yourself from over commitment.
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It’s not even that -just that I run out of time and feel like a shit…
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I am so jealous of your trip and all the amazing people you’re going to get to meet! I spend my life falling behind with blog visiting and feeling guilty about it – but I’m just back from a break so raring to go for one! Have an amazing time, and I hope you manage to catch up on some sleep before you go – or at least hope you conk out on the plane if not!
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Yes, I’m rather relying on the plane trips to give me sufficient energy to sleep very little for the rest of the trip. I’m not going to want to waste a single moment! I resent sleep enough as it is!
It’s such an incredible thing. I can’t believe it’s nearly here! I’m astonished.
Don’t beat yourself up about blog visiting. Draw a line under it and start over when it suits you 🙂
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I bet it feels mad! Have a great time – looking forward to reading all about it!
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I doubt I’ll have time to write until I get back, but I hope that other people will write in lieu until I get home 🙂
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Glad you’re keeping up. See you soon!
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YES! SOON 😀
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Sleep is wonderful, and vacations are wonderful, too. The planning is fun, too–though not as nice as the actual moment of the trip. I am so excited for you and hope it is a happy, happy time!
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Yeah, I definitely need to get more sleep. The planning is a lot of hassle and also a lot of fun to imagine where I’m going to be in x number of days hence…
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Last week I linked up late and I didn’t make it around to anyone’s posts because I was feeling shitty and crabby. I felt horrible about it all week though.
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I’m fighting off the shitty – I’ve been to…three? *hides*
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Other than TToT, I rarely comment on posts anymore. I had a comment on a weighty topic come across wrong once and I’ve been a bit gun shy ever since.
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Ohhh yeah that’s tough to handle because it’s all so out in the open and fragile. These TTOT posts should be fairly straightforward and robust. It’s just the GETTING to them…
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Congrats on the post, it was lovely.
I really hope your trip is wonderful and you are able to recharge yourself. ❤
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It jangled and didn’t make a lot of sense – I wrote it whilst half asleep lol. But YES the trip will be amazing
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I have been terribly absent from visiting you here…and I know you’d say worry not so I’ll say the same to you. Shit happens. Life happens. If you don’t get around to everybody, well, apply the chill factor you mentioned.
Crap. Dinner timer is beeping…great timing, eh? You know I’ll talk to you later at some point in some place. Can’t wait till you’re here!!! XO
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You’re right, of course 🙂 Ah well. I shall (for once) let it go…
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I’m only halfway through my first cup of coffee. So my comment machine isn’t fired up.
It’s too hard to read every post in the blog hop. Maybe you want to be outside a little.
Who says we’re not sharing a bed? 😜
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*MY* turn to go tingly!! 😜
In fairness all I said was that you’re not scheduled. I’m anticipating surprising amounts of ‘unscheduled’, given the enormity of the trip.
I have spent lots of time outside, watching, playing, nibbling ears (and having mine nibbled) and kissing small faces as I hug ‘my’ kids. Today I had four of them together and it has been BEAUTIFUL 😊
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Thanks for sharing the song, Lizzi. I tend to agree with you about what it really means!
I’m glad you’re getting excited about your trip – I’m sure every one beyond the pond must be looking forward eagerly to your arrival.
Have a break from commenting and from anything that causes you stress! ♥
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I have a tendency to twist songs so they’re absolutely all about me. Lol. I do it with Nirvana’s ‘All Apologies’ and Muse’s ‘Madness’ too.
The trip is giving me SUCH excitement. I spent a couple of hours yesterday with WonderAunty helping me to organise the itinerary and important things about flights that I’d missed.
I DO want to come round everyone, and I’ll try, but…eh. Life’s taken over again.
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The consistency with which you champion Jenny shows your heart and energy. I can’t wait to meet you, see you, and laugh with you in “Murica.
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It’s going to be AMAZING….AND we get to meet at the beach, which is going to be kind of perfect 😀
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Not leaving sister. Ever. xo
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Ty ❤ I'm glad.
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You can only give what you’re able to give, you know. Give yourself a break. (Hugs)
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A break? Me? From me? What madness is this you speak of?
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Um…idk. I suddenly feel like we’re speaking different languages, you and I.
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* hugs* Today I had a lovely day and it was really chilled out and kid-ful. It was glorious. I have been happy all day and not had time for any of those silly plaguey voices. It has been beautiful.
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Hooray!!
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I KNOOOOWWW 😀
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I love you and love your honesty and am so proud of you for little steps.
Be good to you first and foremost friend. It’s hard to do but necessary.
There’s a world of support around you, even if it’s not “physically there”. It’s there always. Remember that mmmmmkay?
xoxo
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Awwwh thank you. And I know it’s there and it matters SO SO much even if it’s not physically ‘right there’ it still counts and helps. Promise. I’m trying to be good to me – I’m going to the gym and eating well and all that 🙂 I’m glad you like the honesty – it’s kind of the best policy for me.
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Safe travels, Lizzi! You’re wonderful for all that you do! I know you’re a ray of sunshine on facebook ♥ Stay healthy and take care of you! Enjoy your trip. Love, Vidya
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I don’t feel like I do much – certainly not more than I feel an ordinary human person would. But I just talk about it more, perhaps. I’m glad you think I’m sunshiney. That’s awesome 🙂
And YES! Here’s to most definitely staying healthy for my trip! Thanks Vidya 🙂
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I am glad you credited my prevention of your developing a codeine addiction as a thing of Thankful, even if you did do so reluctantly.
FYI, at some point those pills are going back to the chemist.
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No, because I don’t want to pay again for if I get shingles again. They can go to Mum’s if need be but I don’t want them gone gone. They cost.
And yes. I know. You keep me safe when I don’t want to be, and that DOES matter, and on good days I appreciate it hugely. Thank you.
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Gah, I love that song. Also, I can’t wait for you to get to America. It’s going to be so good for you to get out of your head a little bit and into the worlds of your kids because Tucker has YOU for an auntie, no matter that he’s never met you. He already loves your Rooster Hair and we can’t wait to have you here. I can’t wait to have you here. I’m so proud of you too for doing so much for Jenny. That’s big huge Our Land stuff there, you. Big. Huge. xoxo Love.
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Hey, can I write an Our Land post about Jenny? That would be possibly a thing which might be a good thing.
And YAY to being in Tucker’s world and him seeing my Rooster hair In Real, and to seeing YOU In Real and just…BEING! 😀 I’m so completely ridiculously excited it’s NOT EVEN WORDABLE!
And YES to out of my head for a bit 😀
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FOURTH!!!
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BOOM, baby! YEAHHHHH 😀 😀 😀
How soon do I get to tell everyone you’re the first person I’m sleeping with when I get to the US?
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As soon as you like! But you’re at Samaras first!
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True, though I don’t think we’re scheduled to share a bed lol
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I’m glad you get to come to the USofA — it will be a whirlwind, exhausting, exciting adventure for you! I’m wish I was close enough to one of your waypoints to meet you in person!
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It’s going to be SUCH a glorious whirlwind. I’m getting more and more excited every day and YES I’m gutted I won’t meet you! That sucks 😦
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I have only been doing this for 3 months really. I have been doing well to make it around to all the blogs, but that might change, depending on my life going forward. I can’t let it bother me and can only do what I can do. Congratulations on your post being published also. Read it. Well articulated.
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Thanks Kerry. It really mattered to me (as you know) and it’s been a post which has been sitting around in my heart for a while now. I’m gonna try to take a leaf from your book in my approach to getting around… 😉
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FRIST!
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BOOM, BABY! 😀
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