Ten Things of Thankful 111 #10Thankful

And so it was that the mystery of the last few weeks of utter discombobulation, exacerbated by fear that I was once again falling apart at the seams of my mind, was solved. And I’m so, so very thankful.

I’ve been clinging on by little more than a thread, at times, feeling the disconnect and wondering why, even when I wrote about disconnectedness and was overwhelmed by responses from more people than I ever thought paid attention to me, I barely felt anything, much less the compassion and solidarity being expressed there.

I’ve had a number of notable moments of utter joy and transcendent bliss – one even happened for an entire, beautiful day (last Saturday, at Trans Pride, which may be my very favourite day for a while) – and I have had times of such despair and hopelessness that I have been almost ready to stop the world and get off. Fortunately in both extremes, I’ve had wonderful people around me, either physically or through the magic of that World Between the Wires, which I can carry in my pocket, and I have been cheered, cajoled, comforted, consoled, and wrapped around in oodles and oodles of love – the absolutely permanent, undeniable kind, which will stay the course of any little jinks and twerks of the ol’ emotional register.

Throughout it all, I was determined to do my best, and if I couldn’t find things to be thankful for (in a coherent, joined-up manner), then I could at least seek beauty, and I’ve been enjoying using Instagram to good effect to share the rewards of my searchings. Almost without us realising, there are moments of beauty, like stars amidst the gloaming sky, just waiting to be noticed. If you want to follow along with the things I find, add me on Instagram – it’s fun there, I promise.

Like Stars Amidst The Gloaming SkySo today I’m particularly thankful (again) for the sheer wonder that is the NHS. For all the bad rap it cops, it’s a damn good service, and on Friday, after a week of progressively worse and bizarre symptoms, atop the exhaustion and mental hoopla, I decided I didn’t want to cope any more (especially as a dull ache in my hip had become a jarring, debilitating agony) and I went to the walk-in centre, around the corridor from my office.

I sat, clenched in pain and anxiety for 40 minutes, trying to lose myself in The Night Butterflies (by the wonderful Sara Litchfield), which is as gripping a dystopia novel as I think you’ll ever read, and wished I could have one of the ‘AntiPain’ pills, washed down by a couple of the ‘Coping’ ones. When I got called by the triage nurse, I shoved the book away and stumbled over to be assessed…and what a glorious assessment it was. Inside 10 minutes, I had shown off my weird, red, raised bumps across my hip, explained the agony which had made my week progressively worse (to the point of impairing my movement) and was asked whether I had been exhausted and riding an emotional rollercoaster (uhhh YES! Just a bit!), before being told that I had shingles, and should take anti-viral meds, go home, rest, and tough it out with painkillers to help – that it would be nasty, but wouldn’t last, and that all my weird symptoms wrapped up together in one nasty condition and were completely explainable.

I cried from sheer relief.

I left with a week’s worth of anti-viral medicine, three confluent medical opinions, the best wishes of my colleagues for a speedy recovery, and a HUGE, calming dose of ‘everything’s explainable’. For free. Because the NHS is absobloodylutely wonderful.

I am SO thankful.

I’m also SO SO SO thankful for technology which allows me to be in touch with my friends and support them when they (like me, cos I don’t think it’s probably all shingles) get a little moonstruck and need a bit of a boost, which I’m only too happy to offer, if I can in any way help.

What else. It’s the SINGULARITY book launch this weekend – for those of you who have been living under a rock, this is the sequel to Jessica, which I contributed to, courtesy of Helena Hann-Basquiat and her wonderful mind and determination to include other writers. It’s fun. There are prizes and nibbles and great music. You should definitely pop in and ORDER A COPY

SingularityBut wait, there’s more! There’s the wonderful hotel I visited because we were part of a conference there, and they let me take a HUGE BOX of leftover food to Jenny and Gabriel et al – they even had a disclaimer form pre-made because they’ve done this before so that they could absolve liability for food eaten beyond the bounds of their own policies. And it was PERFECT timing, because for some reason, the food van hadn’t come that night, so…kismet, serendipity, just good timing – ALL OF IT, and my friends were fed by generosity which I’ve come to recognise as a sparkling, delightfully-not-so-rare gem of an attitude amongst the hoteliers of the city.

Oh! And a beautiful, gorgeous moment happened earlier in the week when I found a gorgeous, absolutely perfect gift for my lovely Best BlogWife in the world EVER, and arrived home to discover that a parcel had arrived with a gorgeous, absolutely perfect gift from her to me. It’s always so wonderful when we somehow manage to make wonderful things/thoughts/points of conversation happen at the same time. \oo/_

So…somewhere in amongst the ups and downs, and learnings, and moments of beauty, and new friendships, and conversations with people who make the heart begin to dance, and warmer weather, and things being mostly okay, and that being (considering how life could have been) bloody marvellous, YES – I’m EXTREMELY THANKFUL, and life is chock-full of silver linings.

There are skies full of sparkling stars, worlds full of sparkling, shinybright souls, and love…always love.

And summer music πŸ™‚

Your turn, lovelies, and have a glorious weekend. And guess what – I’m consigned to rest, so I’m going to make it to EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU this time πŸ™‚

 

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87 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful 111 #10Thankful

  1. Reblogged this on personalselfperfection and commented:
    always be thankful
    1.write blog in wordpress
    2.write 40 or so posts
    3.write haiku everyday
    4.read good posts per day
    5.get feedback quickly
    6.write poetry of 15 or so poems
    7.nice weather for writing
    8.read haiku and learn to write more
    9.find nice photos
    10.get 90 or so folloews in 2 weeks

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, I’m passing through on the A-Z Roadtrip. I hope by now you’re over the worst of the shingles. Good to know you got the anti-viral meds (not everyone wants to prescribe them) but they definitely make a difference. (Hubby had shingles some years back across the side of his head and face – not nice!) I like the “Ten things of Thankful” idea.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ahhh thanks Wendy, and HI πŸ˜€ and welcome. I think the anti-virals made a difference – the rash certainly seemed not to spread too far once I was on them, thank GOODNESS!

      Ten Things of Thankful happens every weekend – feel free to come back and join us if you fancy πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Just stopped by on my way home from a dinosaur’s birthday party πŸ˜‰ to say hi! and sprinkle a little glitter in your direction! Glad to hear you got answers, painkillers — and what sounds like some much needed time to rest. best wishes for a speedy recovery!
    alice

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  5. So late getting around…
    Isn’t it a relief when there’s an explanation for what ails you? I remember that HUGE wash of relief when I got my ADHD diagnosis. Come to think of it, I felt that way about my RA – just happy to have an explanation for it all and then you can move forward.
    Glad you’re keeping us all entertained with your loopiness on FB.
    And this is a truly lovely post – lots of happy feelings in here.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am in love and wonderment with your post today. It amazes me how much the human body can take, and what it will do to cause its healing. When I was experience my outpouring of shock and grief I developes debilitating headaches. I only get them once in a blue moon so it was very concerning toe. Sometimes our body and central nervous system can’t take anymore and they just shut down. Anyone I know that has experienced the excruciating pain of shingles has gone through a stressful emotional roller coaster. I wish you all the best with your healing Lizzi and enjoy this time of peace and clarification to all the wonderful blessings you described. 😊

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    • Thank you so much. It’s truly horrible and today I had to ring the doctor from the hallway floor (where I got stuck, again, in pain) so that she could prescribe me better meds. Vince went and got them and now I’m ON THEM and loopy but REALLY not hurting as much, thank thank thank goodness!

      Like

  7. I had shingles so I know how you feel. I pray you don’t get the electrical side effects that I got afterward. Every time I moved for the next three months, I felt like thousand volts of electricity were running through where the welts had been. Flexeril or Cymbalta will ease these pains though. I just wanted you to know so you wouldn’t panic. The doctor told me 1 in 5 people get the after shocks. Oatmeal baths are lovely by the way if you can find a mix with lavender and calamine. They really help. You pour the mix into warm water and soak. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re the third person to recommend oatmeal baths! So far it’s not so much the rash as the nerve pain that’s the big problem, but today I got prescribed some bigtime meds, so I’m currently loopy but hurting less, which is SUCH a relief.

      Like

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  11. You’re a great inspiration in how you actively seek things to be thankful for – no matter what. It takes strength to not to succumb to the grinding down that Life sometimes imposes. Oh, and I love the word ‘discombobulation’ – somehow the very pronouncing of it conveys exactly what it means πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes – it’s almost like concept onomatopaea…I rather love it. I also like that earlier yesterday I got to use the word ‘abstruse’ in conversation – that was a rather delicious moment…

      And yes. I think I need to try hard to seek beauty today, but I’ve had some cuddles with one member of my part-time, borrowed family, and am feeling almost contentish, which is nice πŸ™‚

      I am DETERMINED (most of the time) not to let life win. It’s won for too many years now.

      Like

    • Ergh I’m sorry you know the pain 😦 A few of my friends have suggested it’s similar to fibro, cos of it being nerve pain and all. I’m being carefuller to keep track of pain meds now, because I haven’t been, and I’m told it’s wise to know when I can have the next dose, rather than winging it.

      I’m trying to rest – I feel capable of precious little else!

      Liked by 1 person

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  13. i have had shingles, it is not a fun time. Especially when it is warm and muggy. I wish for you a speedy recovery, for me they lingered a while.
    I am hoping you have a happy, smiley week!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. OUCH. I do hope the co-codamol (absolute gibberish to me) and the calamine (saved me from hurling my poor chicken poxed kidlets through the window at 02:00, 03:00, 04:00 … ) brings relief. Had shingles when I was 14 and I remember that the oatmeal baths helped. A lot. Made one hell of a mess however …

    Liked by 1 person

    • OATMEAL baths? Good grief! That sounds like a nightmare! I’ll stick with calamine lotion and meds! Wow. Poor your children – Niece and Neff had the pox lately, which is why I think I caught it.

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      • That would make sense. If you didn’t get chicken pox as a kid, you often get shingles if you catch the virus as an adult. I was most unmotherly when the Kid got the pox and refused to do the calamine until the spots had scabbed over. Luckily his Dad was able to take over that bit.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m just shocked you were diagnosed with shingles as quickly as you were. God Bless your medicare system. In Canada they’d send me home, tell me I’ll be seen my a specialist in the year 2018, and maybe, if I’m lucky, they’d give me a prescription for Tylenol 3. But I’m glad you’re feeling better, but like I said in my last comment to you, whether your in good spirits or not, your spirit is a compelling one, and I am drawn to the weaving of your words.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel almost embarrassed by the ease with which I was diagnosed and given treatment. Anyone who has a bad word to say about the NHS will get a piece of my mind, because for all it has its problems, it’s still LEAGUES ahead of any other medical system I know, and I’m so blessed to be able to reap the benefits of it just when I need them.

      Canada’s system sounds every bit as horrendous and tricky as the US one(s) but at least even then, medical systems EXIST! We are all so rich…

      I hope you never have this, though, and so any need for diagnosis/treatment would be unnecessary.

      I’m so glad that you’re drawn to my words – you’re so generous with beautiful feedback, I’m astonished and delighted. Thank you πŸ™‚

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  16. Been dancing to that song in Zumba. Fun, fun. I’m sending sincere wishes for a quick healing. I know what you mean; just knowing brings so much relief. I had to look up gloaming in the dictionary. That’s a beautiful sentence. Look at this viral recovery time and time to rest your mind and body, build your inspiration, and come out boxing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s a good idea – hopefully I can get an idea of timing without getting scared by medical doom about side-effects. So far, sitting still has been my best bet, and I have the internet and my friends here, so it’s really no hardship.

      LOVED zumba when I went, but honestly, my co-ordination was so poor! I think boxing is still better for me πŸ™‚

      ‘Gloaming’ is a gorrrrgeous word. I like to use words like that every now and again, cos they’re like the fancy jewels which you only wear for best, but take out and just gaze at once in a while…

      Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve heard maybe a week or so, from people who’ve had it or known people who’ve had it. I looked on the NHS website and scared myself with an article about post-herpatic nerve pain, which can last MONTHS, so I’m reeeeeally hoping it’s only a week. Ergh!

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  17. GAH to the pain and good on you for figuring it out and well for connecting and doing and being. AND to the moments. Because yeah, they’re the ones that matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m gonna Do and Be and LIVE, and I’m thrilled to pieces about it. In spite of the pain, because I CAN, and because now I know better, on more than one count, and that COUNTS for rather a lot πŸ™‚ *hugs*

      Like

  18. Hoping you feel better very soon. My son had shingles his sophomore year of college, and it was so bad. I had never seen him in so much pain. Sending you healthful thoughts πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I got that nasty condition when I was fourteen, after being immune supressed from my kidney transplant. My brother just had it, on his face and near his eye, a few months ago. It can be set off, in the system, from a low immune system or stress. Life in other words.
    πŸ™‚
    Hope the pain is tolderable.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ergh. I guess I shall have to be careful not to get too stressed out in future, so I don’t get it again and again. BLOOMIN HECK!

      I’m lucky mine’s hidden on my hip. But the pain is….tolerable as long as I don’t move or type too hard. Heheh.

      Like

  20. I am sososososososo glad you have a diagnosis and it will be better in a week. That week may suck, but you can do anything for a week if you know it’s only going to be a week.
    Whenever that song comes on the radio, I crank it up and sing along. It’s one of the few modern songs I like and don’t mind my kids listening to. Despite a couple of unfortunate words, it has a good message. Finally!
    I have been enjoying your pretty pictures on IG. Funny how you were soooo reluctant to get on it in the first place. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can be a bit of a luddite when it comes to New Scary Things, because I worry about how on earth I’ll keep up with them or be able to understand them, but YOU’RE A FINE ONE TO TALK, Mizz Twitter! HA! You still don’t even!

      It’s an AWESOME song. The other I like is Ashton somethingsomething’s ‘Get Stupid’.

      A week. I shall hope it’s only a week. It SUCKS!

      Like

  21. I adore you, Diamond. And I’m so glad you now know why everything has been so utterly bad lately.
    My laptop is off being updated so I am going to be off the wires except through my phone so you can find me there.
    I love you, my sparkling Diamond, and am so very happy that you have a little bit of happy, too. πŸ’–, Pinky
    https://youtu.be/IUGfC7GYi18 (look at all the pink πŸ˜‰)

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Don’t be afraid to admit if the pain gets too bad. Don’t suffer more than you have to. I’d the pain gets worse, go back, either to walk in or out of hours or call out of hours. Worst case auntie Caryl is a walking pharmacy xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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