I’m going to try this for ONE MORE WEEK, because at the moment, in all honesty, it’s just not working out and I’m absolutely ready to quit and just do what works for me – which doesn’t appear to be THIS. I have absolute confidence that everyone can manage to continue their lives without worrying too much, and I hope you can understand WHY I’m saying this…but it’s been an uphill struggle and I’m just…I’m done, people. Really done.
LAST CHANCE to vote on this verdammt poll for the new banner, before I give up completely on the idea. GET GOING OVER THERE AND BLOOMIN’ WELL HAVE YOUR SAY! Cos there are a bunch of people who have taken the time to make something for your perusal, and there’s been a shoddy response to their efforts. PLEASEplease honour their efforts by taking TWO SECONDS to show your opinion of them? It’s really not hard. Or time-consuming. And it will stop me standing here with my arms crossed and my toe tapping, about five seconds away from a hissy fit.
Shall I take us back to ‘happy’? More specifically, MY happy, because it’s been pretty much a week full of it, in one regard or another, so I’m hoping that this will be another post full of *twinklysparklygoodness*.
It’s been a three-day week for me, because I took a couple of days off while Mum was away, so that I could go and do all the things she normally does to help my Sis with Niece and Neff. Which meant that two mornings this week, my day began with little, delighted, sleepy-eyed faces, wrap-around hugs, and banter with my Sis, who is one of my favourite people in the world. I got to sing the ‘I love you’ songs which make Niece grin and dance, and make Neff squirm and growl at me (loudly) and I got to just…join in with ‘familying’ for a bit, and feel a tiny, tiny taste of what life could have been like. And it was beautiful…
…but each day I TOTALLY went home and flaked out, crawling back into bed until the afternoon – NOT because I found them exhausting and unhandleable, but because I pulled an all-nighter and ended up giggling and singing and laughing with Vince and some of my wonderful Muricans ALL NIGHT TIL DAYTIME AGAIN. The highlight was that at 3am when I was
bitching explaining about how my hairdresser always turned her nose up and told me NO when I expressed wanting the side of my hair shaved, Vince said (and I paraphrase, because I always do) ‘fuck that noise – let’s do it now!’
So we did. And I grinned the ENTIRE time, as clumps of hair ended up on the floor, and my style got more and more funky and something I LOVE.
I tried to write, but it hasn’t happened. Not beating myself up about it. Just enjoying life. (Though I did finish another chapter of the book I’m vaguely working on, and it got good feedback so far, which is always nice, and I have a plan for the next chapter, which is also nice.)
I’ve had some wonderful chats with wonderful friends. Poetry’s happened (mine, and other people’s), and today I read the most wonderful piece on transgender issues, and it made me happy that I’m part of a collective of people who also think it’s important to speak up about these things. YAY! It also helped to cement what MAYBE perhaps just might be an idea which is still taking root, which possibly is what I’d like to do when I grow up. Which is a Big Deal because I never had any ambitions before. And now I kinda do. I want to travel more. And this new thing which…I’m not sure how you’ll receive it and to be honest it’s still in the early stages of thought, but I’d love to open up a hostel for trans people, because they’re already an ‘at risk’ group, and when they’re homeless, they really are amongst the vulnerablest of the vulnerable, and I’ve always had a heart for homeless people and the trans community.
So there’s that.
Last weekend, Vince’s kids came to stay. I’ve known them since they were both babies, and they’re ADORABLE and firmly part of ‘my’ set of kids, and I ADORE the idea that I hopefully will now get to see them with some frequency, and be part of their lives, and watch them grow up, which makes eight kids who are all a little bit mine, locally, to some degree, and I love that.
I got a glitterbomb this week (with implied glitter) from my darling, zesty, Previous Princess Rosebud, who sent me MEN (two tiny surfer dudes) and a gloriously beachy shirt and a bag and pen and mug, because they’re the touristy kind of things I would buy if I was in Cali, and honestly, the parcel made my DAY, not just because of the fun things, but because it’s such a gorgeous expression of friendship – to take the time and effort to find lovely things and bother sending them over, with a sweet note…that’s the MAIN thing which gets me right in the heartstrings each time something exciting and lovely turns up on my doorstep, and why I adore sending glitterbombs to my friends…it makes it Real-er somehow.
And another lovely thing is that I have four ‘works in progress’ to organise and send SOON! Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
I’ve found a lovely friend in Lindsay, who writes at Mad Tea Party In My Head, and who I found through various pathways on Facebook and through the ever-incredible Hasty Words, and who now sweetly checks in with me every so often, to see how I’m doing, which is lovely. We’ve connected through poetry and sharing truths in writing, and I kind of adore her, and it’s been so nice to chat.
Another lovely friend is Erin, who keeps sending me the most poignant, perfect pictures and quotes on facebook, and nearly every day finds something encouraging or buoying and posts it to my wall, to keep me thinking, keep me engaging, and keep me going, and I’m hugely, hugely grateful for her thoughtfulness and kindness.
What else? I’m embracing my girliness and have now been called a “million percent girl” several times for various squee-ing or particularly frilly moments. Which is fun. But I now have three new summer outfits which are ALL of the dress/skirt variety. And I have a complete outfit for the Princess Party I’m going to on the 4th July (a friend’s daughter’s 18th celebration, to which she informed me “I need you there – you’re coming with me”, which is SO nice, because FRIENDS, and also doubly nice because I’ve rarely been considered worthy of being invited to parties, and ESPECIALLY not princess parties).
Just an aside – according to THIS QUIZ, my Disney doppelganger is Belle. Who likes books. And is gentle and sweet and kind and (oops) falls in love with a Beast (sayingnothingsayingnothing) and who makes friends with everyone she possibly can. Except mean people. And she’s not horrid to them – just steers clear if she can. I like that comparison.
Last weekend was BlogU, and though I was a million miles away, the UTTERLY FABULOUS Jessica D’Pirate, of Domestic Pirate (who has GORGEOUS hair, by the way) made me a presence there by taking me along in a bag. Kinda. We schemed and she bought a bag of glittery love-bombs from us both, and she glittered people on my behalf, and I got photos of her with various fabulous bloggers I know, all glittery and jazzed up with fun gifts. It was BEAUTIFUL and I’m so grateful to her for joining me in.
And just very recently, my world has been turned to musical happiness by the kindness and generosity of my favourite Dilettante, Helena Hann-Basquiat, who hooked me up with the James album ‘Millionaires’, and it is WONDERFUL WONDERFUL WONDERFUL and making me SO happy.
All the happies. So many. And now I don’t know if that should be happies, happys or something else entirely, but yaknow what? I’m not gonna be conflicted. I’m gonna let it go, and swirl off in a cloud of sparkling stars, ready to send the link around and get this week’s TToT off the ground before Erin starts cracking her whip again.
Take care, my lovelies, and I hope you’ve had a good week. And if you know someone who hasn’t, try to cheer them up somehow – just let them know you’re there, or whatever. It helps. Promise.