Ten Things of Thankful #101

I wanted to start the next 100 weeks of the Ten Things of Thankful with something wonderful and sparkling, and we did have fun last week, didn’t we? It’s not over yet, either – the winners of the boxes are soon going to get a VERY SPECIAL MESSAGE from their designated co-host, who will send them their prize, and the voting is now open for you to choose your new TToT banner (where were your entries, y’all? At this rate I might run this one again once you’ve copped on! Let me know if you’re bothered) – but there are a number of things which have me incensed, and my heart, my brain and my soul are aching from outrage and upset and I just need to write for a bit about them. How many apples will it take There’s a thankful in that, I suppose, that I care. And that other people care enough to DO things to combat vile behaviour in whatever form it takes, in order to try to protect those who would be somehow taken advantage of. We need more kindness. We need more relationship. WE NEED MORE CONNECTION – good grief, we need more connection.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take time to recognise the humanity in the people around you. And not just in your immediate locale, but wherever you find them. Respect them, whatever their age, their gender, their class, their financial situation, their history, their nationality, their sexuality, or any other of those things which people get worked up about, thinking that ‘different’ equates to ‘less than’.

Treat them as deserving (yes, I used *that* word because in this case it’s right) of DIGNITY and of the acknowledgement that they are your human brother or sister. You don’t have to like their behaviour or even condone it. You don’t have to protect them from the consequences of their own actions, but you DO have to recognise that they are human and important and that’s fucking SOMETHING!

I’ve just read an article detailing the manner in which the current British government have been trying to institute laws which criminalise feeding the homeless in a particular part of London. A little research shows they’ve been trying to achieve this FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS. Why? Because the homeless are vile detritus to be kept away from affluence so as not to clutter up the view? To starve them to death so we don’t have to worry about them? To dehumanise them as much as possible and make way for harsher anti-poor-people laws, or anti-people-we-don’t-like-or-think-contribute-to-society laws? NO! IT’S NOT OKAY!

Prior to that I read an article by an amazing woman who spoke out in light of the Duggar abuse scandal. She called out her childhood abuser by name, yet she still blamed herself – little girl her – for having LET him abuse her. What the actual? That anyone should have to endure such suffering and then carry shame with them when it was NOT THEIR FAULT? That anyone should have to feel they *should* have done more to protect themselves or to let their abuser know that what was being done to them was not okay, or that they *should* have found the courage to let an adult know? Yet I know people who are in this very state of mind, NO! IT’S NOT OKAY!
And before THAT, I was aware of situations where people felt so alone and uncared for they needed to scream in writing to just feel as if they still existed. Or situations where people have been afraid to respond to other people for fear of being irrelevant or coming across as dumb. Or situations where people have denied others the right to have negative feelings because of their affluence – or the right to take positive actions because of their gender. Or situations where people have been actively penalised by bureaucracy for their mental/physical illnesses. Or situations where people have been stripped of their humanness and turned into faceless demographics – labels designed to distance the labeller from acknowledging that each person is a PERSON. NO! IT’S NOT OKAY!
And each person is VALUABLE, oh my, when are we ever, ever, ever going to learn? I know with you guys I’m preaching to the choir but WE need to set the example because there is no way that the people who dehumanise in this way are EVER going to take the initiative and figure it out by themselves. WE NEED TO BE LEADERS. We need to demonstrate compassion and connection and CARE.
We should throw banquets in the streets and invite EVERYONE. We should DAMN WELL PROTECT OUR CHILDREN, and when they go through awful things at the hands of wicked people, we need to take responsibility for finding them a way to heal so they can grow up without that constant ember of shame blistering their soul. We should encourage and support and nurture one another – whoever is near us – so that they feel valued and validated and understood, and we should role-model mercy and justice and humility so that people who see us might feel inspired by the radical idea that EVERYONE MATTERS.
And much as I hate to say it, that means that even the dickheads in life matter (though their bad behaviour should still be sanctioned as far as the law allows (and the laws should be changed to be less ‘ass’ish where it’s the case that the sanctions are ineffective), so as much as the vengeful, base part of me wishes that I could advocate Guy-Fawkes-style vigilante ‘justice’, I can’t…even the pricks are people with triumphs and challenges and hopes and dreams…they just need to somehow learn and respect that SO IS EVERYONE ELSE.
We ALL are. We all matter. YOU MATTER.
You matter.
Let people know, and show them that THEY matter. Be more than a voice. I don’t care how you do it, and the ‘prize’ is a world which is better, and safer, for everyone, and that’s everything.
OKAY?
Sorry to soapbox but you guys are connected and you DO care. The world needs more people like you.
There are things I’m thankful for, sure, but they seem to pale in comparison to the agony of living in this world tonight. Which probably means I really, really need to find some silver linings to latch hold of, because this swirling darkness that is all I can see has horns and teeth and wicked, narrowed eyes and sulphur breath and I can’t shake the feeling that in spite of my knowledge that in the end, Love WINS, somehow at the moment, Love is in short supply and having rather an uphill struggle.
Here goes for silver linings, then.
1. It seems that divorce can be as straightforward as finding the funds to pay for it. I’ll sell things (wedding dress and rings – I’m so sure THAT’S never been done before! (ha!)) and get it done, then we can both move on to being happier human beings. I bloody hope.
2. People DO care. They do. And I see it sometimes and it counts and it helps and it matters.
3. Vince is here and it’s LOVELY having him here. He’s a fab flatmate and quite honestly we both feel as though we’ve landed on our feet with this new arrangement.
4. Books, to lose myself in. New books being written by authors I adore. Existing books gracing my bookshelf. Book swaps and loans with my BookFriend.
5. Glitterbombs, which I sent this week, and which I love to send, and which delight me by enabling me to bring some small sparkly happiness to others.
6. Exercise which I do because I enjoy it and because I want my body to be the healthiest it can be (new mindset – it’s better).
7. (Double-edged sword) The epiphany that one of the reasons I often feel sad is because I love too much and when it’s not returned, that hurts, so what I need to do is let go of the hope for return, and decide to either love without expectation, or try to dial back how much I care. Both sound wicked hard things to attempt but at least I’ve identified an issue to work on.
8. I started a new element of my career today – a complete tangent to my job – and if training is feasible then I get to do something which both honours the wishes of people or their next of kin, and enables others to maybe regain their sight. It’s a peculiar, science-class-y, stilling and very profound thing. And I tried it out for the first time and…I don’t think ‘I liked it’ is really the right thing, but I found it an important experience and I think I could make a positive contribution in this area.
9. I’m not squeamish and I’m okay around a dead body. Thank goodness. Because I wasn’t sure I would be, not having ever met one before.
10. The light and love of a friend who I suspect knows me inside out and back-to-front, and who has become utterly vital to me – I am endlessly grateful and thankful that our paths crossed and then somehow our hearts followed suit.
I don’t feel better. Not this time.
Your turn.
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163 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful #101

  1. ‘ello Love, sorry for being so tardy to the party. So, you have a fan I see. And this week’s TToT wasn’t you favorite. But you had TToT and at the end of the week isn’t that we are all going for? Ten things that suck less than anonymous posters? I say you add this post to the Win column and call it a week. See you on the the flip side!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey there *HUGS* Don’t worry about tardy. I haven’t got around them all yet *sigh* life keeps getting away from me at the edges.

      I had a soapbox moment and then…yeah. My not-a-fan…kinda turned into a silver lining – did you see how many people came and stood up for me? WOW! I’m awed and so pleased that I have such a wonderful blog family 🙂

      Yeah I reckon in the end, it’s a win. Thanks for being here 🙂

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  2. Just love your heart and spirit, Lizzi. Even when you feel broken…the shape that’s created by the missing shards is utterly lovely.

    Heart on, friend,
    Dani

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  4. Oh, poop. I’m sorry you didn’t feel better. I hope you felt better at some point along the weekend. Here my weekend is just ending with our memorial day and all, and you’ve been back to work for a day.
    There was so much that pleased ME about your list. It sounds happy even if you weren’t. And there’s Vince. Vince makes me happy, and I will probably never meet the fella.
    I also enjoyed your soapbox in the way that you enjoy and get riled up by any rant with which you 100% agree.
    Keep the ring if you can afford to. it’s not like it takes up much space.
    Dead body?!?!?!?! WTH!?!??!?!?!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yesterday was a bank holiday for us, so I too had a day off, and I used it wisely and maturely to get sloshed (and apparently to drunk-message a bunch of people hahahah!) and spend time playing Yahtzee with Vince, and talking and laughing.

      I’m glad you liked the list. There were good things on there – they just didn’t mitigate how bad I felt about the ranty bits.

      Glad Vince makes you happy. He’s a goof and he looks out for me and we’re very much enjoying being flatmates.

      I’ll sell the dress first.

      And yeah. Dead body. New job aspect as a volunteer (if training works out) eye retrieval technician, to support cornea transplant.

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  5. I absolutely agree about your intro paragraphs.. As a mom (and a sometimes compassionate human being), I cannot fathom how the parents, especially the mom, upon learning about what had happened, did NOTHING to support the girls. Being a mom to a son and daughters, I can understand that she didn’t completely cut out the son and let him hang, but I would never allow a child who had committed something like that against their siblings to be living with the siblings any more.

    Anyways, I hope you can find the funds to get the divorce over with, soon! I can imagine how hard it can be “hanging”. I’m happy for you that you can keep your place and enjoy your living arrangement. I’m also very happy about the new career option for you. I know you can do it!

    Have a very wonderful week, Lizzi!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t know the ins and outs. I just know it’s all a very bad business and that it’s had big impact and wide ripples, which seem to have GOOD coming from them, in spite of all the awfulness.

      Divorce is sorted for money, which is good, but still gonna sell the stuff I don’t want to keep, so THAT’S good.

      And I can do the new job bit IF the training fits with my work schedule….we’ll see.

      And thanks. YOU have a wonderful week, too 🙂

      Like

  6. You’re learning to do eye enucleations, aren’t you?
    The Duggars only live about an hour and a half from here. I have never watched their tv show and I never will, There is a very good article from Cosmo about the whole thing. It wasn’t a “mistake;” it was an assault.
    Glad Vince is there and you aren’t alone.
    Philadelphia (City of Brotherly Love) has rules against feeding the homeless, too. I heard a guy named Shane Claiborne speak about it on time. He’s an interesting character, once worked with Mother Teresa.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anywhere which has rules against feeding the homeless makes my blood boil. That anywhere would allow such un-empathic, anti-human legislature is disgusting.

      I’m glad I’m not alone. It’s nice to have him here.

      I know very little about the Duggars (cos of that rock I live under) but I know enough to understand that great, great wrong has been committed and is trying to be glossed over, and that’s appalling. I know that abused people in all corners are incensed and BEGINNING TO RISE AGAINST THE BS. And good!

      Yep. Eye enucleations for donation. Fascinating stuff.

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  7. Well, that went downhill fast… but I gotta say I was smiling by the end of it! Some real quotables in there! Trolls huh?” Cant live with ’em.” Im with Clark. He is a sensible man… and I too never let my troll leave the murkey depths of the bridge he crawled out from beneath… Love you despite the anonymous, terrified, fear monging, hooligans of the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    • He is. And perhaps I shouldn’t have, but I wanted the idiocy to be given sunshine rather than gnaw at my mind in the quiet. Does that make sense? Perhaps it was a bit scottian but whatevs.

      And some GREAT comments. I have a gorgeous Village here. And thanks. Love you too 🙂

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  8. I love you Lizzi… I know you well, and I love every bit of you. I refuse to respond to the hateful comments, because I simply can’t and won’t spend one bit of my time or energy on such nastiness and ignorant claims…

    Those words have no value… none. What has value is TRUTH. To which I say, I have never known a more truthful, beautiful, morally intentional, creative, gifted, and caring soul… like you. Your light outshines any darkness that hides and lurks in the shadows. Carry on, and shine!

    We all bask in your light… and your truth… and we hold you and carry you and understand your heart, your pain, and your passion. You are surrounded by your VILLAGE. The gates are LOCKED to those who try to break through, with toxic weapons that attack, based on hate, accusation and ignorance.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Remember I’m very heavily self-edited and I fall off pedestals on purpose 😉

      I’m a mess. A beautiful letdown. And that’s all I need to be 🙂

      Thank you, Kitty, my wonderful, wonderful friend ❤

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  9. I try to avoid ‘advice giving’. I will indulge this one time. I promise (unless I’ve done it before, which is a very real possibility).
    I once had a comment from someone that was written for no other purpose than to get a response and, subsequently, attention from others.

    it never saw the light of day.

    (metaphorically, there is no light, I assume, inside the computer, but maybe, who am I to say? (shit! I’m supposed to be all wise and advicy… (stop with the self-questioning, clark) (ok) (here are a bunch of half-theses..of you want to go ahead and apply them so I can get back to my comment…)))

    In any event, the only value a comment of the type that I’m referring to is to demonstrate the reality of personal reality. But, equally, the only way to deal with them, in my opinion, is on the same level….personal reality. If they are not published, do they still exist?
    I hope that this makes sense (who am I kidding? of course it makes sense, you’re a clark!)

    I will not comment directly on the comment because, it doesn’t matter. I know it’s different in the ‘sphere, but, in real life, if, for instance, you arrive at work and discover you have a little bit of dog shit on your shoe, there’s a good chance you’ll scrape it off and go on about your day, un-noteworthy (unless, of course, someone else has some dog shit on their shoe and then maybe a little joke) but it does not matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes – it rapidly escalated, and it’s not the way I’d do it another time. That said, there’s something to be said for letting them damn themselves with their own outpourings.

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      • I agree (of course) but that’s the ‘personal reality’ part, in some realities being hated and or scorned by the majority makes them feel good about themselves. This is not just pathetic, but it’s alien to most people (which is where the concept of personal realities is so helpful… it’s real to them). Hey! if it provides grist for the mill, how bad can it be… and, as we say at the Doctrine ‘the [Doctrine] is for me, not them’ or something like that

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  10. I’m so sorry that your ten things didn’t make you feel better. But your light and positivity through the darkness that can sometimes be humanity is always refreshing and helpful to me. Even when that darkness includes, but is not limited to douchenozzle anonymous spineless waste of Internet space trolls. Take care of you. Move forward. Fuck that guy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you ❤

      I'm taking care. And precautions. And moving on because eh…why not?! Life's for living and the huge silver lining here is that SO MANY wonderful people jumped in to defend me, and that's amazing.

      And as for the ten. They're good, but the world is sometimes somehow worse. But also it has better bits, so I'm back on an even keel.

      Glad the positivity helps. Thank you for letting me know.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh so many issues that make my blood boil.

    ooooooosssssssaaaa deep breath

    that said
    I also think that loving without expectation has its dangers too but less so than dialing it back. I don’t think dialing it back is healthy at all. I try to look at is as I don’t love them for their sake but for mine. Love doesn’t poison your brain. Love only helps

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s a good thought 🙂 I do like that I love them but…oh all the ‘if only’s in the world won’t fix what can’t be, will they? 🙂 I shall just agree to love. Cos love is good.

      and yeah. Deep breaths on this post in many ways :/

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    • You say it so well Erin.
      I was going to write something similar Lizzi. There should be no “dialing back” per se. I know what you mean by that but it’s like Erin said, “don’t love them for their sake, but for” yours.
      No easy task to “love unconditionally”.

      Liked by 1 person

      • No. I need to learn that. I need to. I need to let go and just love and be at peace with that – that it’s part of who I am to love them, and find a way to live without the return. Thank you.

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          • Until you abuse them too much and then they turn.

            Beth thinks I’m a ‘dog person’ – bouncy and exuberant and loving 🙂 it’s a nice image and I guess a nice comparison. I think I’d probably be a golden retriever – one of the big, bimbo, excitable ones 🙂

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  12. Just to clarify: **I** am Husby and while divorce can be stressful and the whole thing frustrating, there is no need for those sort of anonymous vitriolic comments.

    Liked by 4 people

  13. I’m sorry that this wonderful list of wonderful things didn’t help. It’s been a hard week to find silver linings, I know. But you found some, as did I, and that is a good thing. Hang on to them for I think it will be a long, long, long time until the world is set to rights. Keep your head up and keep fighting the good fight. Your voice has become strong and you are so very important to helping find the good.

    And don’t pay attention to jackasses who don’t have guts enough to ‘show their face’. They aren’t worth your time.

    WE KNOW YOU. WE LOVE YOU.

    Liked by 2 people

    • There are wonderful things there, but as I said to Kristi – sometimes I get so caught up in the importance and comfort of my own abundance here, that I forget that there is desperate need out there, and when that gets brought to the fore, it’s so painful. I want to do more to help. I will find ways. Meanwhile I write and hope to inspire.

      I was glad to find these, and I’m glad you found some. DEFINITELY good things. And yes – we have to keep hanging onto them and hoping to gradually, slowly tip the balance in favour of changing the world to ‘better’.

      I’m gonna fight alongside all those who are striving for this. We all matter 🙂

      And no. I should pay no attention. I’ll try not to. And thank you ❤

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  14. You know Lizzi, you have a beautiful soul. You know how I feel about you. And this: finding them a way to heal so they can grow up without that constant ember of shame blistering their soul. THIS. You have an insight and a way of expressing it that speaks to my soul.

    All of this, everything you said, it matters. You matter. I’m grateful for you. And for you words. ❤ ❤ ❤

    *And as for anonymous assholes, remember that when you are trying to do good and spread positivity there will always be those who try to snuff out any light they see.

    Liked by 1 person

    • *sets jaw* I will try to remember. I’ve just not been on the receiving end of quite this brand of assholery before but THANK YOU for being there for me, and for having my back. You’re amazing, G, and I love you HUGE. Thank you ❤

      And as for the rest *grins* I'm glad I can speak to your soul. I'm glad I make sense to you, even when I'm ranting and angry and hurting for all the badness that is out there which more could be done about to fix. I'm so glad, because as we've seen today over at Sisterwives and elsewhere, there are people who HAVE to keep these things bottled up and disconnected so they can survive, and it takes connection and empathy and genuine care from people who CAN connect, to help them feel safe and understood and begin to free themselves from that poison, yaknow? THAT is what we who CAN, should be doing. And through SW, I think we are, and that's WONDERFUL.

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  15. Cheers to more connection! I am so tired of all the ways people find to create a false sense of superiority over others. We need to keep beating the drum, even if it is to accompany the choir. You never know when someone unexpected will hear the music!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, that’s true – the more people who join in the song, the more people over-all who might hear it 🙂 Thanks for the reminder. And no – no need for superiority here – we’re all the one.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. You poured your heart and soul into this write, Lizzi. We can always find thankfulness, but the “soapbox” issues are ones that can’t be counterbalanced with a list of ten. They are issues we all need to work together to resolve. One step at a time, one meal at a time, one supportive, compassionate exchange at a time.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. That article that you gave the link to is amazing. I wish I could say that I didn’t relate to her blaming herself but I do. Even now, after all these years, I have to remind myself that I was a child with a child’s reasoning, not the adult I am now who can stand up for herself. I recently wrote about realizing that I was raped and so many feelings have resurfaced. Now with this Duggar thing coming out, I feel overwhelmed. I needed to read your words today.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Hey

    At least with the divorce you’ll no longer be infertile! Surely that’s what the world is about? Having babies….

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  19. I’ve been off line, still am just peeped in here from my phone while I got some internet connectivity, … (Hugs) I can relate to much you have written here. And sometimes we just need to love , it is who we are. I’ve acepted that it is not always returned which is okay.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t feel okay about it, and that’s the problem 😦 *sigh* I’ve just got to learn to let it go, I guess. Glad to see you’ve got a little bit of connectivity – it’s nice to see you here *HUGS* 🙂

      Like

  20. Oh my, create a new banner. Oh please please run this again!!! I know, I should have been in the game instead of sitting on the bleachers texting, but I beg of you to re run this. It would be nice. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ah, life…. I’m trying to get back into my blogs and show them attention. I have been gone too long and hate to read you’re going through a divorce. I just ended a 15 year relationship recently and it’s bitter sweet. You are a very strong lady and this post shows how big your heart is. We all should care more about others. It helps them, and shows us our lives aren’t the only ones to think about. I missed out on a challenge or banner or whatever this is. lol. so yes, I’d love to give it a shot. Thank you for your site. hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Donetta 🙂 Nice to see you again. Glad you’re getting back into blogging 🙂

      This divorce is a better thing for both Husby and I, but still not nice and not what we wanted, but at this stage it’s what is necessary, so there’s that. We’re both better for it already.

      And…I’m glad the reminder helps. It matters to me so much that I (and preferably others) remember about the people who are all too often marginalised and ignored and SO need us…

      Like

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  24. Our city has a big campaign where they have posted signs at popular panhandling sites (usually on a freeway off ramp or busy intersection) asking people not to give the panhandlers any money — it tells motorists that while $5 might buy the panhandler a meal, it will buy 20 meals for those in need if donated to the local food pantry. They are also handing out cards to the panhandlers telling them about the various resources available to them…soup kitchens, homeless shelters, housing assistance, veterans services, and the like. Most here seem to think it is a good idea, but I haven’t seen any interviews with the panhandlers to hear their feelings about it or the reasons they would or would not utilize the services offered to them. I’m reserving judgment for now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • On the surface of it, that sounds like an AMAZING idea! Wow! I hope you find out more and that they WOULD use those services (I mean, why not, if they can be assured of a good meal?) That’s LIGHT YEARS ahead of what my country appears to be trying. GOOD GRIEF…Jana if you’re poor here, or long-term unemployed, or disabled or homeless or have mental health issues…they’re OUT TO GET YOU. 😦 It’s appalling.

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      • As somebody who has used these services, there are a great many reasons why a person might choose not to use them. Basically if you don’t have a substance abuse issue or a really severe mental illness (e.g. schizophrenia), the people providing the service don’t seem to know what to do with you. Not to mention that it’s bloody scary being around people like that when you very much aren’t one of them, and yet have your own issues that make you vulnerable to abuse from others. And there’s pride, too. The feeling that the people handing the stuff out either pity you or think of you as a scrounger. The sensation that you have struggled this long and it’s all culminated in sitting in a cramped room at a school-dinner table, eating stale rice krispies and not wanting to look like a twat by taking your enormous backpack with you to the toilet (because everyone else seems fine to just leave theirs until they get back), but painfully aware that the people around you may actually need to steal in order to survive – especially when the charity has just run out of donated backpacks/clothes in the correct size/whatever.

        In short, going to homeless drop-ins and the like is a scary, depressing, dehumanising experience and I would advise anyone to exhaust literally every other option before they even considered doing it.

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Bastard tablet are my comment. And it was BRILLIANT.

    I’m not happy that TTOT didn’t make you feel better. That’s what it’s for. And you’re the hub. You have to feel better. It’s a rule. I’m pretty sure. Hugs Lizzi.

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  26. I just realized that I don’t know what you do for a living. Of course your know nothing 😜😜about me so that makes us even…but I think after reading your list maybe I don’t want to know. Dead bodies and next of kin? Oh my. But as to your list not making you feel better…I don’t know what to say to that. That certainly doesn’t sound good at all. Maybe I need to send you some more jokes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was a good list but it didn’t override the pain I felt last night at just how much of an almighty MESS this world is, and how much we all need to get up and DO SOMETHING!

      *sigh*

      We have to trade life stories at some point. I’m going to update my ‘About’ soon. NO. THIS WEEKEND. I’m going to PRIORITISE ME! (wow!). But let’s talk anyway.

      I’m a retinal screener for people with diabetes, which means driving around my county running mobile clinics from the back of a big white van, and taking photos of the backs of their eyes to be assessed for signs of diabetic retinopathy. An opportunity has come up to be a volunteer cornea retrieval technician, just because it’s a good thing to do and they need help and I can be around in the window of time they have most need, so I’m training, and if the training works out, I’ll do that too.

      I’m also increasingly aware I’ve not SEEN YOU (in spite of all our maple syrup shenanigans (must’ve had my eyes shut 😉 )) So there’s that :p

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  27. Sometimes our hearts are too big for the world. It sounds like one of those days (weeks) for you, Lizzie. So, I’m sending you a big HUG! Thank you for the #1000Voices as I enjoyed immersing myself in compassion yesterday and meeting new, beautiful bloggers. Beautifully expressed post here!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I saw your lovely poem for 1000Speak but it was just as I was falling asleep and too tired to comment (fie on me) but what an awesome entry, and it touched so many people’s hearts (I had a quick squizz at your comments, too).

      It was MOST DEFINITELY one of those days when I carried the whole world in my heart and felt every pain – I didn’t even START on hey, does anyone remember Nepal? Or Haiti? Or China? Or Syria? Or Burma? *SIGH*

      This world is a MESS, Lisa. A MESS. And we need to somehow help it.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. How I wish I could wrap up some bright happiness and give it to you tonight, Lizzi. I’m sad that you’re sad and unfortunately all I can do about it is send you a big tight virtual hug and tell you that you’re in my thoughts. I hope a smile will return to your lovely face very soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I woke up this morning to find a set of GORGEOUS beach pictures from Beth, from where she’s gone on vacay, and they were SO BEAUTIFUL and full of silver and water and giant rocks and this incredible, brooding atmosphere….INSTANT SMILES 🙂 And the sun is shining and I have a good weekend planned.

      THANK YOU for the hug though. I like that 🙂

      Like

  29. Trying to comment on my phone, which often results in double or triple responses, so feel free to delete extras. As for loving too much, I would vote dial back expectations, not try to decrease your own caring. Still super hard to do, but I think the more love and caring in the world, the better. It is probable that unreciprocal individuals will eventually–perhaps years later–realize that they could have/should have been more loving.

    An individual alone cannot solve all the problems of the world, but can definitely make a difference. You are one of those individuals, and I appreciate your example.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Kristi (and I only see ONE reply from you, so…success!) – I really appreciate your endorsement of me. I hope I do somehow make a difference. I want to do more than just WORDS though, but if I can inspire then it’s a start.

      The thing is (and here’s the worst part of the epiphany) – there are particular people I don’t want to dial back on….I want them to care for me more. I know that’s silly and unreasonable. *sigh* Ah well. I’ll get there in the end.

      Like

      • But you DO do more than just words. You feed the hungry, you befriend the homeless, you see those whom society so often doesn’t. And your sharing of your experiences remind the rest of us to DO, too.

        As for the other–silly and unreasonable? Perhaps. But completely human and understandable.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Dammit! My comment got eaten! Now I have to try to remember it lol.

          I know I do DO things, but sometimes I sit here and the weight of my abundance comes crashing in and I see the yawning chasm of disparity between how much I have, and how little others have, and I suddenly realise how LITTLE I do DO….and that tears at me all too little and I let it inspire me to words but so rarely to more and I feel like such a terrible human *sigh*

          And as to the other I’m glad it’s understandable, Kristi, and I wonder if it’s a throwback (another one) to the lack of love in my marriage or the fact that I might just be a black hole for love, but I so, so, so am not ready to stop loving them and wishing they’d love me back. I know it’s a bit pathetic and I’m sure at some point I’ll stabilise and get past it. Maybe.

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          • You are forgetting some important things: 1. It’s not wise to run faster than one has strength; in other words, you need to recognize that love and service do not have to be given at a frantic pace. If there are things you can do to improve, don’t beat yourself up about that, just “baby steps” your way until you’ve become the person you want to be. Be as patient and kind to yourself as you are to others. 2. The ripple effect, and how powerful words can be. How many acts of kindness and service have you inspired? It’s impossible to know, but I know that I have thought about your example as I have talked with homeless individuals in my town, and I imagine I’m not the only one.

            You are not a terrible human, and don’t believe anyone (including yourself) who tells you otherwise.

            Liked by 3 people

            • Thank you so much for your wisdom, Kristi, and your insight. I really, really appreciate you taking the time to share it with me. I know I’m impatient – I want to be able to fix things and I want it to happen NOW, without really knowing how best to go about it, so I write and vent and outpour and don’t really feel effective a lot of the time, but perhaps I’m more effective than I know, which is my hope.

              Liked by 1 person

  30. Soapbox rants are needed sometimes, this one was needed . . . words are powerful things, and yours are beautiful at the same time – and as per your usual, the TToT list is fabulous 🙂 I have two banners I was going to share but was out all day looking for the perfect color pocket square to match my son’s girlfriends prom dress and missed the deadline. I hope you do run another – {{{hugs}}}

    Liked by 1 person

    • I might well run another – I think most people missed that it was happening. *sigh* Another bright idea gone off the boil! With only four entries I do think we need to try again.

      And thank you – that’s such an encouraging thing to hear. I really hope that this one makes sense and matters to people, even though I was terribly stirred up when I was writing it. Because GOOD GRIEF, Crystal, this world has me FRAUGHT tonight 😦

      Liked by 1 person

              • Anyone who cares about you will (hopefully) understand, AND, you always come back round and use those glorious words of yours to aid in the understanding of whatever moment you may be in. Sometimes it’s hard not to be a dick – umm . . anyway – just try to take a few breaths before you respond, and if your still feeling dickish, close your eyes and find one little beautiful thing, a word perhaps, to focus in on and just breathe . . .

                Liked by 1 person

                • Not when I think I maybe was just really horrendous to someone I love, and now I’m wracked with regret and self-hatred and just appalled at how horrible of a human I can be when I get like this. *SIGH*

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • Forgive yourself a little and let them know, sweet one. We can all be horrible humans, because we are, after all, human. Tell your self-hatred you are too loved to let it control you. I know – easy to say, hard to do – give it to a page and trap it there. It doesn’t have the right to control you. Wish I could give you a for real {{{hug}}}

                    Liked by 1 person

                    • I’m pretty tiresome 🙂 My mind is a whirlwind of this and that, dark and light, to and fro, and ebb and flow . . . Sometimes it tries to take control, it even *seems* to win the battle sometimes, BUT it doesn’t, not for real or for keeps – Especially when my heroes, my friends, my saving graces in human form come in and remind me of my strength, my worth, and my value – I want you to know I think you are strong, stronger than you know – you have such worth, and I value you, as I know so many do. Some battles we have to fight alone, especially the ones we wage with ourselves, but if we’re lucky, and I daresay you are, we have caring folk just waiting to catch us . . . I’m here, open arms if you need somewhere to fall.

                      Liked by 1 person

  31. Books, books and more books. I have always consumed them, which is why I never understand others when they say they are bored. To me that just means you start another book (sometimes I have three or four going at a time, if one doesn’t suit my mood, I save it for later.)

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Even though you’re sad, this is still beautiful.
    I wish I had the energy to say more, but I still haven’t answered the comments on my own blog, and I feel bad about that. xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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