Ten Things of Thankful #87

It seems like such an obvious thing; to write my Ten about love, this weekend, when the world is full of red and pink glitterysparkly heart-shaped somethings, and the shops are cashing in on insecurities and high-expectations…and no. I’m not in *that* zone any more. I wrote what I wanted to write, to the people I wanted to know it here (even if it was a little ass-backwards, it was still received most beautifully by my wonderful friends, who recognised the spirit in which it was written), and what I want to say to Husby is likely best left betwixt the two of us. So I’ll move us on…

Enough with the LOVE already…or will I?

Because the more I think about it (and believe me, I’ve been here staring at a blank page for so long that Dyanne’s pestered me for the linkie code, AND published her post, AND pipped me into the linkie  (I expect)) the more I think it all comes back to love.

Why do we write? Because we want to share of ourselves and make meaningful connections.

Why are we practicing this thankfulness thing once a week? Because we seek to emphasise to ourselves and others that in spite of whatever other everythings are going on, there are GOOD things in our lives, which we know make our experience of the world a better one.

Why do we hop over to one anothers’ blogs and celebrate other bloggers’ Ten Things of Thankful? Because in celebrating the good times with them, and empathising in the challenging times, we build relationship – the very thing that humans (as social creatures) are designed for,

Why do we seek relationship (in whatever form it takes)? Affirmation. Acknowledgement. Validation.

Where do those come from? Love.

And in its most wonderful form, it is generous, powerful, steadfast, truthful, delightful, and utterly glorious.

All the trappings and commercialisation of Valentine’s day can’t cheapen that.

It underscores everything.

It’s in invisible signs and properly made tea.

It’s in glitterbombs and hand-written cards.

It’s in borrowed clothes and back-rubs.

It’s in seeing their smiles when I tell them “You’re my favourites”

It’s in out-loud declarations and long chats behind the scenes.

It’s in the linked arms of half our lives.

It’s in catching up, because we haven’t seen each other for a while.

It’s in ‘not alone’ and ‘stronger together’ and choosing.

It’s in stubbly kisses and giggling about the scratchiness, and knowing we’re right.

It’s in recognising from afar, or close up, a kinship.

It’s in knowing we’re more the same than we are different.

And it’s blowing my mind.

 

In fact, I’d go so far as to say that somehow, it’s all I ever write about.

Life works in circles, and most everything seems to come back to love. What’s your take? And what are you thankful for?

 

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66 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful #87

  1. Life is all about relationships… which lead back to love. Having those strong interpersonal relationships not only limit crime and addiction, they make you happier and more productive. In short, LOVE makes the world go round. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’d tend to agree, though the most recent piece on Sisterwivesspeak.com makes me wonder about the addiction bit. But happier and more productive is a definite. No wonder the government has to keep trying to find ways to incentivise people – they seem to act without love a LOT of the time. 😉

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  2. We plainly refuse to spend any money on Valentine’s day that we wouldn’t spend on any other day, so no flowers, no chocolates, no store-bought cards, but the wonderful little things we share every day. If one needs one day to remember that they love their partners, it’s a sad relationship. To us, every day is Valentine’s day 🙂 Enjoy your week, Lizzi!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve just come from your blog, Stephanie, and that remark (your #8, as I recall) was my second-favourite 🙂
      I’m glad that you and your husband show each other so much more than just one special day a year, how much you mean to one another.

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  3. Not gonna lie – I do love LOVE in all its many forms and manifestations. It’s what is behind all of it, as you said. Valentine’s Day is stupid, I agree with that sentiment as well. But if turned on its ear and presented differently (like that essay I shared), then it’s just a reminder that we need to keep that going all year.
    I can tell you this. The only thing that got me through the two years of the Hub’s lob loss and subsequent major reinvention and life change was love. Period. Love from him, from people around me, from the people I’ve ‘met’ and connected with over the blog and the hops and all of it. (And yes, the stupid Facebook thank you very much.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • The only good thing about Valentine’s day is that it really does bring love to the centre stage, if only for a day. It hammers home the point that love is GOOD (even if the day has been turned to profiteering and envy and insecurity) and when people rise above the day, and recognise that love for ALL the days, in whatever form it comes, is what counts, then I think that’s a rather glorious thing.

      I’m glad love got you through. Love got me through the first 4 years of marriage – love from all quarters. And it counts. It SO counts.

      (SO happy you like the stupid Facebook. It makes a difference, right? 😉 )

      Liked by 1 person

    • Love in real life sometimes feels very UNglittery and UNsparkly, I find. They’re hidden deep, those shiny golden bits, but in a good relationship, they exist and can be counted upon. I’m glad you have that, and I’m glad to make you smile 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I for one am glad that Valentine’s Day is over and no one whipped me with goat hide. I would be content if the foolish day took its leave. I am truly not a fan. BUT! If it happens to make you write things so heartfelt and honest as the Stymied Valentine and this gorgeous post about the love in your life, then I will be happy to keep it around. Love encompasses a great many things. It’s a package word for trust, respect, compassion, hope, faith, family…..on and on and on. So yes, you write about love all the time and you do it well.

    You are filling my heart with your words this week. More so than usual and I am thankful.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sandy, I’m giggling because I’m now trying to imagine what the response would be if anyone ever dared to even TRY to whip you with a goat hide (I’ll clue you in – the scene I have playing in my head has a ring, an audience baying “GIVE HIM THE CHAIR!”, and people selling hotdogs and over-sized sodas).

      The Stymied Valentine was…so good, really…and I know I used the mask Valentine’s Day to be able to write it and ‘get away with it’, because yaknow, “convention” (and thank goodness for it, because out of the blue, it would have seemed…perhaps a little unwieldy and intense (I mean, it was intense anyway, and gloriously so)) but I am GLAD of the day, even if it smacks largely of commercialism and envy and the disparity between real love and ‘What Love Looks Like’, because it places love absolutely, unavoidably centre stage. And whether people rail against that because they prefer the everyday version, or they go all-out with the cutesy, glittery stuff, all I can think is that the more people who focus on love, and recognise the importance of the REAL, true love, in all its many guises and types, the better.

      I love love. I’ve decided. I love writing about it (except not the bit I’m going to attempt soon – the self-compassion bit, but even there I’m beginning to develop an angle) and I love LIVING it. And I love that in eight months time it’s going to be putting me on a plane for one of the biggest adventures of my life.

      I’m glad I have your heart close by to pour words into, my Darling American 🙂 It’s nice.

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  5. I could not have picked a better week to begin hopping again. Lizzi, I never grow tired of telling you that what you created with your blog, TToT, #1000Speak, all the things that you say, do, write. All of you is love. L is for LizziLove. Thank you for sharing yourself with the rest of us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • And I’m just so thrilled, Pattie, because honestly, when I see that it makes an Actual, Real difference in people’s lives…what more could I want for my writing? I know that lots of bloggers are all about getting advertising or making a living or working up to selling a book or promoting their craft, and I’m not gonna lie – there are parts of that I’d like, too, but the REAL stuff – the stuff which has impact and changes things and encourages and supports people and touches their lives – THAT’S where it’s at. And it’s wonderful, and I’m blown away by it and so, so happy that these connections are made, and build, and MATTER.

      Thank you for reminding me of that *hugs*

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  6. Love is about connections.
    And I love that you are so brave that you open yourself up to the world and in doing so, you have connected with hundreds, maybe thousands, of people.
    I’m working on my brave, this year.
    Maybe that will help me connect too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think if you take #1000Speak as something I’ve been part of, then yes, perhaps. And over the years, I guess the numbers could tally into the hundreds. Which is a fascinating thought. But there are a core of people (I’ve never counted, but perhaps 30?) who are consistent, even if they’re not constantly *there*. I’m glad you’re one of them 🙂

      I shall be interested to see how your brave goes. I’ll be cheering you on 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

        • Heheh no, not at all! But I think it’s the thing with the most reach, numbers-wise. In terms of connection, I think the most important thing has been the TToT. And Facebook’s pretty good, but the TToT community is the one which I think I enjoy most, and which has made the most difference and real impact, both in my life, and other people’s.

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  7. {perhaps to the point that many here are making}* while you are tapping something that is within us all, i.e. the need for connection/recognition-as-an-individual, you are the special one who started the process. As I never seem to tire of telling, I remember coming here when there were 5 Comments per week and you were writing Posts (because you wanted to/had to) and you wrote gratitude posts (I forget how many posts/how many weeks) by yourself… because you saw the value in that effort, for yourself.
    Joining is not so hard, starting very definitely is…

    good works

    *special ‘holiday’ parentheseses

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’ve always been headstrong *nods sagely* it’s something we have which can be SO useful, and well-used, as much as it can get us into trouble.

      That said, it’s far easier to be headstrong at a ‘starting something meaningful’ level than ‘saying something emotional’ level (though many of the same set of determinations can be involved)

      Ahhhh those days of five comments per week. I used to watch the stats box LIKE A HAWK to see if anyone new had responded, refreshing it every half hour or so…and now I have Kristi and Dyanne and Lisa and Sarah having/egging on a TIFF over FRIST *grins*

      Nice that you’ve been here since those humble beginnings. We’ve taken a whole lot of notes 🙂

      {Thank you. I smiled}

      Like

    • Awh thanks 🙂 I enjoyed writing it. I think it was quite late when I got done, and the filters came off my mind a bit, and I rambled. Bit more honesty and a bit less craft, but a valid effort, I reckon 🙂

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  8. I hate Valentine’s Day. I think it’s stupid.
    I love having blog friends. I generally feel closer to them than I do any IRL friends (other than my Person). I think we understand each other better.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I know you do, my Dyanndelion…but bloggy friends are awesome, and I think that I could probably say the same for my IRL (apart from my Soulie, who knows everything) and yeah…that understanding and the connection and fun and sense of community…that surpasses all geography. And it’s brilliant *grins* xo

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  9. The point of relationships is to help each other become the best we can be. With this TToT you started, you have done just that. We are all better people for participating. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw that’s such a lovely thing to say. Thank you. I told you before, I’m sure, that this hop felt ‘bigger than’ me, and I think there’s a reason – it taps into something very fundamental in the human psyche and allows us a forum to express that. I love it. We have a wonderful community here, and I’m glad you’re part of it 🙂

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  10. Oh, I agree. In fact, I think that one of the major purposes of this life is for us to learn to develop–or maybe hold onto, as little children already seem to have it–love. My favorite scriptures are about charity, which is defined as the pure love of Christ. Everything good ties back to love. The topic is deep enough, and broad enough, that if you wrote about love every day, you would never be lacking for subject matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, absolutely. And I’ve been feeling a LOT, lately, as though my purpose and reason for being here is to LOVE other people. Like, that’s my ‘thing’, if that makes any sense at all. I’d really like it to be – it’s something I enjoy doing so much. And it’s a good reason to get down from that place where I hang myself up on self-obsession and worry and vanity, so that I can get busy doing GOOD and bringing happiness to others.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It makes perfect sense to me, to have a calling or purpose to life, and I think you are perfectly suited to the calling of loving other people. You have a knack for it. And when we truly love others, in an unselfish way, WE end up being happy, too.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. This is great! It does seem like all everything is about! I’m writing the ceremony for the couple I’m going to marry (officiate their wedding, that is) and I keep coming back to a message they wrote on their invitation:
    “Love is all you need.”
    And really, it is. There are so many different kinds of love: Family, friends, romance, CHOCOLATE, yes I love it with passion 🙂 and it gets us through all the bullshittery of every day life and for me, makes me want to be better and try harder and all that sparklyjazzness, which before when I was feeling alone in life didn’t seem as important to me. The more I reach out, in person, IRL, online, wherever, the more the LOVE of all the people and all their greatness makes me want to do more, be more, be better. It’s pretty awesome, what you’ve started here Miss Missy. This community, these amazing people from all over who do come together (I will again, I swear it to you! I have to spend a good amount of time in a hospital today w/my dear friend and family party tomorrow, but after that I will try to hunker down!) THIS RIGHT HERE? This is the best! When a writer thinks about WHY they write, whatever they write, I could not come up with a better answer in the Fantasy Island of my brain than what you said, to have a community of GREAT people you want to interact with. You’ve built that, you’ve given us that gift, and we can never fully repay you for that. Except to BE a part, to love it, to LIVE it, to appreciate it. And I do. Even when I don’t have time to be communal/community? I don’t know what I’m rambling about, it’s very early and this is the only timeI have to do this, so sorry, but I think you know what I’m getting at. Thank you, love you, I miss you even though I’m still reading you, I’m not getting as much community with you as I would like 🙂 Have a wonderful mushy, giggley, lovey weekend!

    Liked by 2 people

    • This is the perfect comment, Joy-to-my-world, and a BEAUTIFUL gorgeous example of WHY I love this community and my people in it, so very much. Rambly, early-morning comments from the place before the filters have had a chance to wake up and kick in and start editing, and it’s LOVELY. Thank you. I adore what has been created here (group effort – I can try and try, but people gotta do their bit too, and they DO, and I’m so happy) and I know you’re busy but you are STILL PART OF IT. And you will be back for more. You don’t stop mattering just cos you get busy. Life works in seasons and I’m glad to be part of your online world, whatever the season looks like.

      Happy marrying. happy lovey mushy day. And SPEAK SOON ❤

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  12. AW!! I absolutely agree!!! Ya did good here, hun!! It really all comes down to love. And your TToT? AMAZINGLY full of it everywhere. I LOVE reading as many TToT posts as I can… and I also love joining when I can. Don’t you just stop and catch your breath sometimes, thinking about how you have charged so many with this incredible challenge of GOOD?

    Ah… your finest accomplishment, I would think. Feel FULL on that for a while, okay?

    I LOVE you. I love YOU. I love lurv luv lawv loooooooove you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • *grins* Don’t make me come over there and Tigger yo ass! I’ll do something clutzy like knock your cast and make you cry. I do love you tho, Kitty, and thank you for being here and for always providing such encouragement and support and FULL ON ENTHUSIASM and…yeah. Today’s a good day. In spite of all the everythings. And I ADORE our community here and how we’re all so FOR one another.

      *MWAH*

      Like

  13. Love makes the world go round – Valentine’s day is a made up holiday by the card companies. I think there actually was a St. Valentine, but i don’t know the story. But love – all sorts – fills us as we receive it, but mostly when we give it.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. WOW you ARE getting better about the L-word! LOVE MCLOVEY PANTS!!!! I am so fed up with Valentine’s this year… dunno why more so this year… well, actually I think its all the world intolerance stuff if making me miss my reasonable-mega-tolerant other half…hey, I think I may slink this comment past the WordPress guardians… hmmmmmm…frist!?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Frist, milady. The WordPress guardians have NOTHING on our 7…

      I completely understand your lack of enthusiasm for the day. Too much juxtaposition and not enough fairness. I wish I could fix it. That’s the side to love which sucks – the hurty bit cos things changed badly. *sigh*

      Makes me want to send you *hugenormoushugs*

      Like

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