Ten Things of Thankful #82

Sometimes the house is empty, and usually I decide that’s a great time to get some blogging done (translated: play on Facebook and chat with friends, and write nothing at all). Last night the house was empty and I tried to play, but Bad Things were zipping around and finding their way under my skin like poison arrows. I slogged on. Then like the proverbial can, which you open and the worms go everywhere, I allowed myself the indulgence of peeking under the lid.

Never. Open. The lid.

Stop Crying Your Heart OutThe worms flew out – gigantic, monstrous, with eyes of burning fire and teeth like daggers. They wrapped themselves around me, biting their way through my mind and crawling into my eyes until all I could see was their writhing awfulness. They kept going until they’d riddled my spirit with their poison.

I hurt.

I despaired.

I ugly-cried.

I sat alone in my flat and fell completely to pieces. Fortunately I had a very dear friend at hand (in my phone), who was going through a lot of the same Feels for a lot of the same reasons. We talked and cried together and somehow got ourselves to a place where the world was marginally less awful and we were both a tiny bit more able to cope with life (9′).

I hung laundry. I trudged on. And then I wrote (watch this space) and got all of it out of me and into something which I HOPE will be important. It felt important. And I’m so thankful that I have the capability to take the depth and expanse of my feelings, and put them into words (13), which will hopefully resonate with others and create connections, thereby redeeming (a tiny bit) the Awful, which inspired the writing in the first place.

It has been a week of ups and downs; hard bits and awful bits and wonderful bits and a few, shining bits of beautiful. Because this is the TToT, I’m going to do my utmost to focus on the bright and shiny side, rather than the tough stuff, but the week has truly been a mixture.

At an undisclosed location, elsewhere in the world, a glitterbomb arrived from me, bringing excitement and happiness (and you KNOW I’m all about that, whenever possible) and it delighted me to the core to see it work its magic (20). The level of *twinklysparklygoodness* was raised by the inclusion of a beautiful print of some jellyfish girls by my friend and artist TJ Lubrano, whose whimsical, wonderful pictures show just how much beauty can be created when someone pours their imagination through a paintbrush. I was so excited when I won TJ’s Inktober giveaway, and I decided on the spot that my Squishy and I would have a set of the jellies, just for fun.

Jellyfish Cuties by TJ LubranoI had my mind BLOWN at the beginning of the week (8), by an incredible piece of spoken word poetry by Samara. I’d never before liked spoken word, as the pieces which I’d come across all seemed to be very desperate, incredibly earnest, and projected in an insistent, constrictive tone, which left me feeling unable to breathe properly. Samara’s piece was the absolute opposite. It told an amazing story, it made me giggle, it made me outraged, it made me draw my breath in shock…it made me fall a little bit in love with her voice, and wish I could crawl through the internet and lick her brain. It. Is. Incredible. And if you want to hear it (so you know just how very, very good it is, feel free to do that right now).

Of course, in the way that good poetry often does, it inspired some to fall into (and then out of) my mind, and I wrote. Then, tentatively, very anxiously, I had a go at reading it out loud. And all both people I read it to, LOVED it (which was very sweet and encouraging of them (1)) and I have promised that at least ONE of the pieces will be shared very soon. Which is exciting and also terrifying.

At pilates, I made my teacher laugh (14) when, halfway through an exercise in which she instructed us to ‘find our inner dancer’, I muttered (just loud enough to be heard, and in suitably surly tones) “My inner dancer is a brick. With Tourette’s”. She decided she wants a meme made of precisely that (still working on it!) and is going to share it wherever she can. The following also happened:

Husby and I got to play host to a wonderful friend of ours last weekend, and this friend and I are both fans of Youtube cooking channels. We decided we’d have a go at making a Nutella star brioche (which I ruined, I think by using yeast which was a bit old) and it was great fun, we giggled a lot, and the end result looked (and tasted) INCREDIBLE (11). If you are what you eat, then I’m lemon-zested, Nutella-layered, sugar-coated AWESOME! (recipe courtesy of The Bread Kitchen).

Brioche star 2There were late night chats and big thinks and a lot of fun. Then in the week, a pizza, cake and games evening for another good friend, whose birthday it was, heralded another night of laughter and giggling and being silly, which is always good (6). And there was a lot of ‘delicious’ about the whole shebang.

Not that I’d ever brag about having hit the jackpot, hardwired-friends-wise, but really and truly, if you are ever fortunate enough to snag yourself a BlogWife, I can only hope that she’s half as wonderful as mine (21). If she is, you’ll be absolutely flying. I’m learning that this is a friendship which seems to be getting better with time, and from something which started off a bit giggly and silly and one of those spur-of-the-moment Writer-things, a genuine bond has developed, and within that, incredible levels of (mutual) support, encouragement and helpfulness, particularly with regard to writing blogging coping with life everything.

Last but by very no means least, I have to list cuddles from Husby when I’ve been feeling down, and that he’s been cooking the dinner (in the kitchen he cleaned today) as I’ve written this, allowing me to make the deadline. He also chopped his thumb, poor chap, but he soldiered on, and we’re going to have a delicious veggie curry soon-soon. All that’s left for me to do is make some spicy flatbreads to accompany it. Now THAT’S what I call a great end to the (difficult bit of the) week (12).



(and some kind of prize for whomsoever figures out my listing method)
IT HAS BEEN FIGURED! Romi got it πŸ˜€ (she also realised that I’d mixed up my letters! Annnnyway (edits it better)) WELL DONE ROMI! I gave each letter of the alphabet a value corresponding to its position IN the alphabet (a=1, b=2 etc) and then wrote I’M THANKFUL with the numbers. BOOM! Romi gets a MASSIVE shout-out here for figuring it out. Go over and see her Ten Things and congratulate her for being so awesome.


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87 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful #82

  1. That video…LOL. I’m glad Serins suggested I check into your blog more, even though I already think you’re awesome based on the Village post and #1000Speak alone. Now I can also check out the TToT Facebook page this evening. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. Ugly crys are always a good things….they help you see all the good underneath.
    I’m still in awe that you can find all the beauty around you and spin such amazing words πŸ™‚
    You are truly blessed with a tremendous community full of love and support. Even if they live in phones πŸ™‚ xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • They make a very real difference, in spite of that πŸ™‚ The ugly cry gave way to the piece I posted today. Not sure it’s ‘better’ per se, but it is hopeful.

      Thanks for the sweet compliment, my friend πŸ™‚


  4. OH I hate that can of worms. The lid never goes back on calmly or gently nor does it quite fit the same.

    I wonder if Angry yoga would be as effective as angry cleaning is for me.

    Lick her brain…. I am going to have to tuck that gem away. I like that phrase quite a bit.

    um…I didn’t even notice the numbering…. um what…

    Liked by 1 person

    • *grins* there were DEFINITELY numbers in there. In a format. On purpose. To denote my TEN! Promise! πŸ˜€

      *grins more* Yeah…sometimes I come out with the weirdest things. I should probably be glad she hasn’t come over and seen this post πŸ˜‰ It works though, I think. I mean, did you HEAR the poem? Owwww!

      Angry cleaning would use more energy, I think, and the frustration would dissipate more quickly. Yoga you have to be rather controlled, and that’s the last thing you want to attempt when angry. I sometimes have a short fuse, and when I blow up, I yell and throw things. I’m just GLORIOUS to be around in a temper-tantrum!

      And no. The lid’s off, the worms are out. But my Village (see next post) are helping to keep them at bay, for now. Which is such a relief.


  5. OH my gosh SO much here!!! First of all, Samara’s post and recording- I went and listenned to it again, because it’s that good- that freaking good. I don’t really have words for it- so ‘good’ is all I got.

    That video? HILARIOUS!!!! I want to share that on FB!!! Oh my gosh – *still laughing*

    And Beth is a wonder, and I’m so grateful you have her, and husby, and you had a lovely time with your friend!!

    And I’m just so sorry you got ‘attacked’ by those mean ugly monsters that steal your peace and your joy… I hate hate hate that. So much.

    I would have NEVER figured out that freaking number letter thingie… never!! I was SO confused!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehehe I didn’t want to make it EASY for everyone, now did I??

      Thanks for the chat last night, Kitty. That helped. I’m glad to have YOU as part of my ‘Village’, as well a Beth and Husby. I’m just hugely fortunate to have y’all in my life.

      The video…WOW!!! I laughed so hard πŸ™‚ And yeah – Samara’s poem left me speechless at first, too πŸ™‚


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  7. Well, hip, hip, hooray for Romi! I thought you were just pulling a Clark with your numbering system! And to think she got it and English isn’t her first language!
    Hate that you’ve had a bad week, but if Angry Yoga helps, then do it! “Homeless Samurai” – BAHAHAHAAA! Love the head banging as well. And that the class just kept doing yoga and never really looked at her when she said all that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • To be fair though, I think that might have helped Romi, because she would naturally look more carefully, being perhaps less certain about what she was looking for and how it linked up. OR she’s just brilliant πŸ™‚

      Apparently 22 Minutes is a Canadian skit show, a little like SNL…who knew! It’s SO funny though πŸ˜€


  8. I knew you were quiet and when you are I always keep you in that little place in my brain that tells me to reach out. I should have and can only be grateful you have others who are there for you. I can’t wait until you get here and I can squeeze some love into you…..oh yes! There will be squeezing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You just made me GRIN. YAY! Oh it’s going to be so COMPLETELY wonderful. I am ALMOST at the stage now where I can start fixing dates! *deep breath* I have ONE weekend BOOKED already. It’s SO exciting.

      Can’t wait to meet you In Real πŸ˜€ It’s going to be brilliant πŸ˜€

      There’s no ‘should have’, my DA – you weren’t to know, and I wasn’t in any fit state to do anything about it…I just fell and fortunately, got caught. *hugs*

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Sorry to hear you had can of worms bad feelings this week, but glad to know that you managed to WOTY on that part (see, I’m just using that, like it’s an accepted term now).

    The Jellyfish are adorable and what’s not to love at This Hour Has 22 Minutes. I’ve never understood yoga, but I liked that.

    May next week have more bready backing, glitter bomb jellyfish-like goodness and less of the other stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you πŸ™‚ I hope next week will be better somehow! It really needs to be!

      The Jelly girls are AMAZING! I am so in awe of TJ’s talent, and so pleased to own a piece of it (the original arrived in the post this morning for me πŸ™‚ ). I guess you’ve seen ’22 Minutes’ before? It’s entirely new to me, and GREAT fun.

      Thank goodness for WOTY (absolutely an accepted term πŸ™‚ )! It’s sometimes utterly necessary.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m really sorry you had a bad can of worms that made you ugly cry (is there any other kind?) and that you’ve had a rough time of it. But I am so glad that you have those dear close friends that you can turn to who will cry with you and bring you around. You’re a tough one…somewhere in there you know it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know no other way than to keep going. Kinda. This morning I fell off the edge of the world and had to sleep, though. Fortunately I was rescued by a well-timed glitterbomb.

      There are other kinds of cry – there is the kind where you just sit quietly and water leaks down your face. That kind is marginally more graceful than the full-on bawling. I seem to have done the bawling thing TWICE recently, which is outrageous!


  11. Sorry about the tough parts, sounds like you used your resources and came out victorious. I had one of those weeks that you just lose all control of and throw up your hands and just go “oh well” and then an amazing friend sent me a hilarious picture. Imagine that. If you possibly can. You’re a winner winner, chicken dinner. Those nutella magicbiscuits look amazing, well done. Samara’s piece was just…wow. Her voice is delicious. I want her to read ALL of my books to me πŸ™‚ and narrate my whole life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhh I so very know what you mean! The term ‘eargasm’ doesn’t even come close! She’s a very talented performer and her poem is AWESOME.

      I’m so glad that the picture cheered you up πŸ™‚ You’ll see (soon, when/if I bother) why that matters a bit, but it’s something I count as a SUCCESS so YAY!

      I’m sorry you had a tough week though. That sucks. I hope the next one is better and more manageable. I’m glad you were able to throw your hands up rather than going under. At least, I HOPE you didn’t go under. You had gloop, so there’s that…


  12. I’m so sorry you had a downer of a week and that I was so unsupportive in my non-love for spiders. I’m so glad you had some good, supportive friends to send you presents and love. I’m still absolutely astonished by that dessert you made? HOW did you create that?!?! It’s so gorgeous!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I linked you the recipe – there was a video tutorial and it’s astonishingly EASY. And delicious πŸ˜€

      Don’t worry about the non-support – it wasn’t ‘not supportive’ it was just ‘not good timing’. I know not everyone likes spiders πŸ™‚ I just thought they were pretty, and right then and there, I needed them. I’m more than thankful that I had a good friend to talk me through, and more people who held me up when I needed it. Sometimes I feel so hopeless, yaknow? *sigh* Ah well. These things happen, don’t they?


  13. I’m so so glad that you had a great friend in your phone when you needed one the most although I hate that you needed one due to being soso low. Snuggles and jellyfish are awesome though and so are sweets and pizza and friends’ birthday parties and getting back up to find the thankful. Hugs hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks πŸ™‚ This week has been such a mixture. I feel a bit wrung out with it. Hoping for more even ground soon! We’ll see. There were reasons for all of it, though, and I can explain it all. It just wasn’t easy to live through. Thank GOODNESS for friends. And thank goodness for you, because you’ve been there in those times, before. πŸ™‚


  14. Video was funny! Although I must admit, I was worried the whole time that she was going to have a wardrobe malfunction. Those tatas were getting mighty close to popping out!

    The jellyfish are gorgeous! And did I see somewhere that you received magnets, too? How marvelous!

    I’m glad to know that when you hit a hard spot, you always have someone to help you through it.

    How in the H – E – double hockey sticks did Romi figure out your “code”????

    Liked by 1 person

    • Because Romi’s amazing. And I think she plays a lot of word games (just a hunch) but she’s dead smart πŸ™‚

      I’m on the floor thankful that I manage to find people to help me through. Bless their boots, seriously, because I was in a bad way, and I needed them so, so much. It was horrible. And again today, with the glitterbomb. I truly am blessed with some brilliant friends and they have some FANTASTIC timing.

      YES MAGNETS *dances with delight* πŸ˜€

      Apparently I was too caught up in the snark and drama of that vid – I’ve missed the underarm hair AND the nearly-escaping boobies! I should learn to watch with my eyes open…


  15. I am sorry you had the sadz. Sometimes we need a good ugly cry so we can move on and focus on the positive.
    And I’m still have dreams about that brioche…
    Here’s to a better week.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ll raise my mug of tea to that! Here’s to a VERY better week! All round!

      The brioche was SO GOOD. I’m going to have to make it again. And this time try not to use dead yeast! It took a LONG time though! I never really bake bread, so I was surprised by how much I was left waiting around for ‘proving’ to happen! Not that it ever seemed to *sigh*

      The sadz were for Proper Reasons. Awful ones. I wrote it out of me and it will be here next week, maybe Monday. The reasons still stand, unfortunately. But positive things have leaked into my world and topped me back up to happy πŸ™‚ I hope you’re ok πŸ™‚


  16. I loved the video. I just wanted to shave that instructor’s armpits – a cultural thing, I guess. Samara’s poem is amazing and I’m glad you shared it here. I didn’t get to read it on Sisterwives this week. You certainly made some fun, happy thankfuls considering the worms.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yaknow, I didn’t even notice her armpits! But ew!

      Samara blew my mind with that poem. Like right out of my skull and across the room. It is AMAZING. I’m so glad you liked it πŸ™‚

      And yes. There have been some wonderful, wonderful (and I *so* needed them) bits to the week, in spite of the awfulness of parts of it.


  17. I’m hungry after reading this. I’ll take a bowl of veggie curry with flatbread on the side and some Nutella brioche for dessert, por favor! I’m sorry your week wasn’t so great and I can definitely relate. Thank goodness for food, blog wives and wonderful hubbys, right? I’m so glad you shared Samara’s piece this week. It was really, really awesome. Hope you have a fab week next week. XoXo
    PS I absolutely die for those jellyfish pictures!

    Liked by 1 person

    • What I completely forgot to do was LINK TJ’S SHOP! http://www.tjlubrano.com is where you can get ahold of your own, if you want some. Honestly, there is NO lose, when you invest in original art. It’s kinda one of my ‘things’ and I LOVE this piece so SO much. I’m laughing because I’m so happy that the original ARRIVED TODAY, and oh how I needed it!

      Samara’s poem is INCREDIBLE. Wow.

      And thank goodness indeed for BlogWives and IRL Husby…both so important and helpful to me πŸ™‚ I’m so lucky.

      The thing which I was really happy about with the curry and flatbread is that it was ALL veggie. And still totally delicious.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. good post.
    thank you*

    * for sharing that you went in and (eventually, with torn brow, bruised psych and tingling relief (delayed response)) have come out the other side. any clark reading this appreciates it and (hopes) to be able to provide you with a comparable ‘Tale of the clarkside’

    Liked by 1 person

    • Eventually. Ish. This morning wasn’t good either, for different reasons, but I made an Ordeal of it, and then a glitterbomb happened and rescued me, and Beth helped too, and now I’m okay again πŸ™‚

      You’re welcome πŸ˜€


    • SO CLOSE! I’ll let you have it. It’s I’M, because then there are ten characters, not eleven! YAY! I’ve given you a big ol shout-out to send people over to your blog, and give you the kudos for having cracked it (did I mess the order up? Ow! *edits it better*) YAY *dances*

      Liked by 1 person

    • Happy new year to you, and welcome to the hop! There’s a blue button up there at the end of my post, and if you click it, it will take you to the page where you can add your link to the link-up, then everyone will see it and come over to visit you πŸ™‚


  19. nice list girlie… grateful youre feeling better. “A brick with tourette’s” huh? That is some serious mobility. I love that vid. More angry yoga after it is also quite funny… ok… trying out the new i.d. here… its me! zoe! but not really… you know… shhhhhhhhhh…. dont tell!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I’m glad you had friends around you at just the right times, to help you through the rough patches.

    Although I’d love to win the prize, I haven’t a clue when it comes to your numbering/not-really-numbering system. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Kim, I hope yours is, too πŸ™‚

      Friends are an absolute necessity. I do very poorly in isolation, and it’s one of the things which just makes me wither away into nothing. I need people. Definitely.

      Husby did a GREAT job – the curry was A.MAY.ZING! πŸ™‚


  21. On the contrary, *I* am the lucky one.

    I haven’t the foggiest what your numbering method is, you nutter. I’ll be impressed with the person who guessed it.

    Your spoken word piece IS sooooo fecking awesome. Can’t wait to see (or hear rather) it here.

    So glad you were able to write out the yucks, which I believe ill now term WOTY.

    Liked by 3 people

    • *grins* WOTY. I like that. That could be a ‘thing’ somewhere. That’s brilliant.

      And THANK YOU, and thank you again for being a sounding board for it. It’s going to go up at Hasty’s. I just need to figure out SoundCloud and then record it at some point when Husby’s not here to intimidate me πŸ˜‰

      It’s not *quite* numbers but I do hope someone gets it! GAH! It made sense in my brain!

      Aaaaaand *grinning HUGE* cos we both think we’re the lucky one. That’s nice. Well, more than nice, but I’m being English about it πŸ˜‰


  22. Oh, Samara’s piece was amazing, wasn’t it? But I feel like it’s impossible for her to do anything less than amazing. And her VOICE!!! I got to hear her voice! I love that you want to lick her brain!

    I’m so sorry you had pain and anguish this week. I think I know what you mean about opening the can of worms. Sometimes you just want to crawl into ignorant bliss and shut all the ugliness out. At least that’s how I feel sometimes. But I also know that whatever writing it inspired will be profound and get to me in the way your writing always does. I don’t want to lick your brain, but I do want to reach aaaaaalllll the way over and give you a big hug.

    (and I’m not going to attempt the number thing. I don’t do numbers.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • (it’s not numbers…not *really*)

      I would take the hug, and I hope that the thing I wrote will be well received. I think it will be. I just need to figure out what I’m doing with it. I think I’ll probably pop it here though. Unfortunately ignorant bliss wasn’t possible because reasons. Well, social media and the news (awful stuff – I try to avoid it, but couldn’t) and being alive and able to read. 😦

      I would happily have just stopped existing yesterday, just for a break. But I hurt because I care, and truly I wouldn’t change that. It just…got too much.

      I’ll take the hug, thanks πŸ™‚

      And Samara’s poem….WOW!


  23. I have no idea about your listing method because I’m in writer mode and numbers are not where it’s at right now, but WHY THE HELL DID YOU ALLOW ME TO VENT MY PROBLEMS AT YOU and not tell me you were in a horrible shitty place in your head?! If I didn’t want to hug you so much I’d want to slap you!! πŸ˜›

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhh THIS bollocking. I seeya πŸ™‚

      I can’t remember the timeline precisely…I think you had your vent BEFORE it all went to shit in my brain. It was after boxing, and our chat was BEFORE boxing. And then today I’m FINE. So it’s no bother at all πŸ™‚

      It all snuck up on me after I discovered a few things, and it was just NICE TO TALK TO YOU and have a bit of time out in NORMAL mode, if I’m quite honest.




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