Round and round and round we go; where we stop, nobody knows!
That said, there’s always something to be thankful for. In this case, Ten (officially, though unofficially, and what with the BoSR (or SBoR), who really knows any more?), although marvellously disjointed and just plucked from some of the highlights or things which made sense at the time of writing – in my van, in between patients, in a real-live-notebook, with a pen. Which is slow, but still sort of my favourite for lists and jottings.
No more ado, then, before it becomes an ‘adon’t’ and I have to capsize myself and start over.
Thankful I stopped, twice – There’s a guy who sits on a low wall on my way home from work. He is always wrapped up against the cold (or, at least, he has been since autumn began) and he usually has a big bag, and a guitar wrapped in a bin-liner. He makes sure he’s under a street light, and he reads. He is always, always reading, which recommends him highly to me. And I’ve cycled past him several times a week, for months. Last Friday I took cakes to the office because we were having a team meeting. At the end of the day there were some cakes left, and I figured that cakes and books go well together, so I parcelled them up and on my way home, I stopped, offered him the cakes, and we had a nice chat. It turns out that he enjoys reading the classics (Russian/French/Irish) and told me he understood, when I explained why I struggle with Dostoyevsky*. I came away with a smile and a fervent recommendation to try Balzac.
Today was really cold, so I took him a coffee and a packet of biscuits because his dedication to his book and his reading in spite of the very-nearly-freezing temperatures. He had a friend there, and we all shook hands and exchanged names and chatted for a short time. I’m pleased, because he seems like a nice chap, and I’m still very much awed by his dedication to reading. It’s a bit inspirational.
Thankful I celebrated – It was Beth’s birthday this week. I wrote her a thing because I quite like her. You should read it – you’ll like her too (if you don’t know her already and have a smidgen of an idea how awesome she is).
Thankful I cared – I haven’t quite decided whether it’s actually kind of cool, or perhaps maybe a little bit stupid to let myself genuinely care for people at the other end of the screen. Because as much as it brings me joy and happiness and moments of starry-skied, *twinklysparkly* wonder and delight, it also means that when things go wrong for them, or they’re struggling, I’m uselesser than a chocolate teapot**, and I get terribly upset and frustrated at being able to do pretty much NOTHING to help. And I suppose on the flip-side, it means that when I’m struggling, if people are
foolish generous enough to care about me, then they’re likewise stuck. So this week I’ve been in both ends of the upset, with other people struggling and me only able to encourage and show care through words, and I’ve also been looked after in some horrible moments, by the words of others. So on balance, I’m in. I’ll keep my heart hardwired for now.
Thankful I explained – One of those moments I had was one which I had to explain to Husby, because it sent me a little bit sideways over an edge, and he was worried. He looked after me and hugged me and let me tell him All The Things, and was kind and sweet and understanding. There were things I needed to cancel, and I didn’t want to lie or just cop out, and I couldn’t work out how to absent myself without coming off like a total jerk. So he offered to text me and tell me that I emergency-needed to come home RightNow and wash the spider. Which made me smile a bit, and that helped.
Thankful I recognised abundance – I’ve been chatting this one through with Husby for a while, and bless him, he’s going along with me. We have SO MUCH stuff, and with Christmas coming, I was beginning to worry about the exchange of pretty well pointless gifts, which would clutter up the corners of our house, and the wrapping which would be chucked, and the whole messy, ‘stuck-in-my-head’ ness of it all. So we’re opting out. We’ll give token gifts to a few, and to the majority, we will send a card and an email explaining our plan. We’re going to use the money we WOULD have spent on Christmassy extravagance, and support Crisis and SCRATCH, both of which will be doing things to help those who have no such blessing of plenty, and which seems like a WIN for everyone, to my mind. We’re also booked to go back and help in the shelter this year (Boxing day this time) because we enjoyed it so much and found it so worthwhile last year. YAY! Good things and sharing. THAT makes my soul happy.
Thankful I asked – By now (ye who are regulars here, of a weekend) I can pretty much anticipate that you’ll understand when I say that I’ve been contemplating a haircut, and that’s really thrown me for a loop. Because I’m one of the least ‘girly’ girls I know, and I just seem to be missing whichever neural pathways deal with things like hair and fashion and makeup and getting silly about boys. So I had a crisis of confidence and asked a LOT of opinions. I’m really grateful I had people I COULD ask, and thankful that in the end, with an appointment booked for the 20th, I think I know what I’m going to be having done. Shorter, for one…
Thankful I decorated – I had a silly five minutes (I know! Can you believe it?!) and Bad-Decorated the office, ready for Christmas. I thought I’d share a few of my highlights, which included mooning cherubs, half a paintrbush, broken snowflakes and quite randomly scattered sparkly balls. It was great fun and most of my colleagues appreciated the try.
Thankful I TRIED – Even though I’m still fairly not-good, I’m getting better at pilates and boxing. I managed to fall off the pilates mat in between moves this week (rather than my usual, graceless ‘fall-out-of-the-balance-and-crash-onto-the-floor’), and I kept up at boxing and was able to take more of the million-things-at-once you need to be thinking about whilst punching something Properly (feet down, knees bent, toes pointed forwards, arms extended, roll the shoulders, chin down, look where you’re punching, STAY DOWN, now hit, with gusto). When we do speed-punching sessions on the bags, I’m setting my own bar higher and higher for repeats. You stand and jog quickly, and as you jog, you cross-punch as fast as you can, for 15 seconds, then rest while your partner punches for 15 seconds. I used to be able to do about 50-60 punches each time, and I counted the other day, and got up to the mid-80s. So that’s kinda cool, even if I still can’t keep my proper stance.
Thankful I Pinned – Pintrest is my little haven of beauty. I really, truly love it there*** and it is the delight of my heart to nip on in the mornings and see what new examples of beautiful or amazing or water or clouds or art have been brought into my feed. Then I grab them and hoard them and gorge on their visuals. And sometimes I find lovely things to send to my friends, as well, to sparkle their days a bit with things I know they like. I go to Pintrest when I’m sad, because seeing pictures of the ocean, or lenticular clouds, or Tuscany, or tree-houses, or Klimt, have an incredible way of lightening my soul, even when things seem dark and stormy.
Thankful I worked – I had a crappy, very stressful morning on Friday, what with a camera and laptop which wouldn’t, and a snarky patient who decided that sarcasm was the way to go, when I was doing my utmost to figure out how the hell to stop making USB ports overload, and my software come back online. When he started to bitch that there would also be a queue of people getting angry in the waiting room because I was taking so long, I firmly advised him that these people would be able to treat the experience as an opportunity to practice patience, which shut him up until I got the damn camera fixed and took his images. The plus-side was that I’d been feeling completely atrocious in myself, and all the stress and the need to be a consummate professional, meant that I had to stop obsessing, and focus on something ELSE. It was a good distraction and it gave me the morning off from my whirlibrain.
###BONUS THANKFULS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS###
1) With mixed feelings, I have to share that Sandy, my Darling American, is no longer going to be co-hosting the TToT. She’s moving onwards and upwards to other things, STILL INCLUDING WRITING, so don’t worry – she’s not going to disappear, but has come to the decision to wind down Mother of Imperfection, and apply her focus elsewhere. I’m happy that she’s reached a decision which works for her, and which makes her happier, and I’m excited for her new projects. I’m also the tiniest bit devastated she’s leaving us, and will miss her lots from our little group of co-hostinae. The 7GV have all been suitably attired in black, for the occasion.
2) Which means WE NEED A NEW CO-HOST! The ten of us have been in discussion. Watch this space for a brand-new newbie to enjoy 🙂
3) I’m very thankful for the inlinkz linkie tool which allows this blog hop to happen each week. But this week apparently there might be some downtime on the 6th December, so if you try to link up then, and it doesn’t work, DON’T FREAK OUT! Just post your blog on the thread in the Facebook group, or try again later 🙂
*It’s because by the time I’ve figured out how to pronounce the names in my head, I’ve forgotten what the plot was doing