Ten Things of Thankful #68

I’m not floundering. I don’t need rescuing or saving or ootzing back into some kind of shape which configures to the expectation I (or anyone else) had for myself. I just need to take a decent look at my week through…well…a different perspective.

1. I didn’t write as many of the #KickCancersAss items as I wanted.

2. I wasn’t as supportive a friend as I would like to have been.

3. I haven’t been as good a wife as I ought to have been.

4. I let a bad temper get the better of me, and was very tetchy with people who were trying to make things better for me.

5. Doing exercise is NOT an acceptable excuse for over-eating.

6. I suck at housework and my house is still filthydirtygrubbyawful.

7. Rejection still sends me COMPLETELY over the edge.

8. I’ve been neglectful of my darling Goddaughter.

9. I’m terrible at keeping in touch with certain people, who I really *should* keep in touch with.

10. And right now I’m writing this list of ways I’ve failed at life this week, instead of going to cook flatbreads, like I said I would, so we can eat dinner.

So I’m going to stop. Rightnow and start turning things around. Time to get my perspectacles on.

Perspectacles Yo10. I walked away and made the flatbreads. I even made them nice (peshwari(ish)). That I can reach into fully-stocked cupboards and pull out the number of ingredients to just make these; that I’m no longer worried (as last year) about using the oven because energy costs and we were struggling to afford life; that I have had such a background of introduction to different foods and flavours, and that I enjoy cooking with items I buy with money I earn at my job, which I have had for a YEAR now…these things are altogether too often overlooked, but are so important and worthwhile just…noticing…once in a while. Oh, and the flatbreads were delicious.

9. That my presence is diminished by lack of contact in certain relationships in no way lessens my role. Though it is something I’m aware I need to change, but at least I am aware. And these people also have phones they don’t use – not all of this is on me, and so I don’t need to beat myself up about it. But I should probably still get in touch. And it’s vastly better than NOT having these relationships.

8. I have a plan for my darling Goddaughter, which I hope will involve picking her up from school on Monday and then asking her what she wants to do. I HOPE I get to do it. I’ve managed to miss an entire summer from her! That I am trusted (somehow) with being a role model to a precious little girl is a wonderful (and scary) thing, and it inspires me to keep living right so that I don’t let her down.

7. Once again, feeling rejected and being rejected are two different things. In the former instance, no rejection took place and I just got tangled up in my brain and all unnecessary. It happens, and it sucks, but I pull through it (with help, most times). Actual rejection also sucks but sometimes you get good poem out of it. And in order to feel the rejection as pain, arguably there first had to be a mutual ‘mattering to’ with that other person, and that (in all cases) was good, up to the point where it wasn’t. Added to which, I need to learn to be okay with that I won’t always be chosen or preferable. There are times when I’ll just be the right person until someone better comes along, or good for as long as it lasts. And that’s how life works. If I take issue with that, or take it personally, then I will struggle all the live-long day.

6. I have arranged a day off (I had time owed back) on Monday in order to catch up on some of the things I just don’t seem to get to. But it’s because I work (YAY! job!) and then come home and go *flomp* on the sofa, while I grab a bite to eat, then head out each night either to see friends, or to boxing/pilates/netball, and then the weekends get full, and I run out of energy, and it’s because I’m packing so much FUN into life. I can pretty much guarantee that my last words will not be “I wish I’d cleaned the house more”, even if it’s a pigsty.

Added to which, my amazing, precious SisterWife Samara sent me a GLITTERBOMB, containing Halloween candy and enough glitter to sink a SHIP. And when I tipped it accidentally all over the floor (having tried SO HARD to make sure it was contained) it didn’t matter – it was just FUNNY. My week was (quite literally) brightened by her wonderful gesture.

Halloween Glitterbomb Yo

5. Over-eating is bad but I’ve had SEVERE wantings for cake, lately. And so cake has happened. And contrary to recent months, I AM doing enough exercise that I can shrug my shoulders and not worry too much because it will get burned off. I’ll just be ‘maintaining’ rather than ‘improving’, but there’s time for that. And anyway, I caved and made a Pintrest(ish) recipe of a microwave cake-in-a-mug. It was almost perfect.

4. I have people in my life who are wonderful enough to love me even when I am in a horribleawfulBADBADmood and snappish and snarly and ready to explode negative energy in any direction. They are amazing and reach out and love me MORE, on purpose, to try to offset the bad. And I am so very blessed to have that.

3. I am aware that there are areas of my marriage which are particularly tricky, and some of those things are most definitely down to me. I need to buck my ideas up, BUT we’re both still here, both still trying to make it work, and both still…mostlykindahappy. And that’s HUGE. I also earned MASSIVE +++WifePoints this week after Husby (at some unknown point in the past) let Spideygirl escape, and when she came marching into the living room, bold as brass across the carpet at 1.30am last night, I did NOT freak the FREAK out – I stayed calm, I only yelled at Husby a little, and I picked the spider up and popped her back in her cage. And I haven’t blackmailed him with that, not ONCE! (yet)

2. I can only do so much. There’s that. And for all the slight letdown I was to one friend, I’ve been a GREAT friend to others. Life is flux, and we try our best and sometimes it’s not enough and other times it’s what makes the world go round. I felt bad, but it wasn’t the end of the world, and is more something which *I* think was a ‘bad thing’ than she does. So there’s that, too.

1. I didn’t do as much as I wanted with the #KickCancersAss writings, because of all the doings, but I DID finish the letter for Sandy, and I DID ensure it got posted. And it HAS BEEN SENT! So rather than upsetting myself about my limitations and the fact that I’m altogether too addicted to social media to focus myself properly, I shall look to the bright side that I DID DO THAT! And I WILL WRITE MORE! (and on that point – if you asked for something but weren’t sure what or if you could do it in the first place, please do confirm!) And I am HUGELYhugelyhugely grateful that so many people have supported me in this endeavour. That. Is. Incredible.

HowZAT for perspective?

Now I’m in the mood for some bonuses.

OctPoWriMo is going REALLY WELL over at the Well Tempered Bards. Zoe and I are both involved, both loving the challenge, and both getting great interaction. So do stop on by and check us out. I’ve also caught back up with a number of the wonderful bloggers who were involved in the A-Z in April challenge this year.

I’ve managed to capture some GORGEOUS pictures on Instagram this week, and have been trying very hard to find the beauty in autumn. At the moment it’s still sunny and warm (mostly) so that’s proving easyish. I’m trying to convince myself that autumn really IS alright. (bonus within a bonus – Instagram pics can be converted into brilliant memes for blog posts)

Bathed in Golden Glow

Click the pic to see…

I’m thankful for Starbucks for my vanilla cafe Americano, which got me through a very tired Monday. And for the baker’s today, which provided me with food (and cake) to get me through my afternoon.

I’m thankful for stupid-dumb-silly threads on Facebook where I can wear a Princess Leia bikini for a Skype date with one person whilst serenading another with love songs from her garden (before falling into a jealous rage because she CHEATED on me with a mysterious shadowy figure not yet revealed in the storyline we’re making up as we go along) or where I can chat about spiders and autumn and….anything under the sun, with people who enjoy chatting about these many and varied things.

I’m thankful that the people I’ve been in touch with about publishing their very personal and intensely difficult stories on SisterWives next week, have been forthcoming and accommodating and EXCITED to be part of it.

I’m thankful that the group of us who meet on a Friday to play netball are all going to go out together for a meal. And drink. And I’m glad that my friend (and banter-sparring partner) wants to make sure it happens on a night when we can both go. So we can drink together and have an amazing time and stagger home together. That matters – it’s a developing friendship and I’m so pleased that she specifically wants me there. That made me all *glowy* inside.

A late (and cryptic (and no I won’t clarify so don’t ask, but I just want to SAY IT BECAUSE IT MATTERS)) entry – there is someone I adore who has been working VERYVERYHARD at something AWESOME and not only has she been successful in her endeavours, it might have just gone FURTHER! Which is so completely awesome and filled me with GLEE when I heard about it.

ANNNND so far, THREE PEOPLE already have Ten Things Posts published. And I haven’t even made the linkie code. You guys – the community here – and your commitment to the spirit of the hop and to each other, in the friendships which deepen each week – you ROCK!



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85 thoughts on “Ten Things of Thankful #68

  1. Pingback: Ripples, Waves & My Compassion Lens | Baby Gates Down

  2. Yes, yes…a week late. But hey! At least I showed up, right?? I will never catch up.

    I love that you used your perspectacles (sharp looking ones, too!) and turned all those negatives into beautiful positives.

    I am anxiously awaiting my letter. You know how much I love them. This whole #kickcancersass thing makes me want to open up my Etsy shop again. I miss it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m terribly overeating these days, and can’t even claim that I excercise, since I’m not cleared for that yet by my doctors. Spending too much time working just seems to send me in a chocolate frenzy. Anyways, focus on the latter 10, not the first ones 🙂 Enjoy your week, Lizzi!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love how you did your list this week. Turning the negatives into positives made me feel all sorts of wonderful inside. Perhaps when I’m really low and can think of all the negatives, I should write them out as you have and talk about what there is to be thankful for in each scenario. Thank you for the inspiration and for sharing this with us. Also, I totally understood your feeling rejected and being rejected point. There is definitely a difference and I’m grateful that as I’ve healed from the true rejection in life that I am able to see that more and more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you’ve been able to see the distinction more, though both hurt and are unmanageable at times. That said, it seems to be the negative which takes the upper hand in my thoughts each time, and for all the times I feel rejected, I really need to make myself take notice of the places and people with whom I am NOT rejected, and keep my focus there.

      I’m glad you found this a helpful exercise. I firmly believe that even in the bad there is good (somewhere down in the comments, an allusion was made to the yin-yang symbol, and that even in the darkness there is light – I think that’s a solid concept) and that quite often it’s just a case of determination and gumption to LOOK for it and find it.

      And I’m really happy this list made you feel so good inside 🙂


    • I feel that way a lot more often than I let on here. It was the fundamental drive behind starting the exercise in the first place, and remains (for me) the founding point of the hop – that when all else seems awful there are at LEAST Ten things to be thankful for…

      I’m glad you appreciate it so much, but I wish you didn’t need it quite so badly.


  5. That Spidey Girl thing has FREAKED ME OUT ever since I first heard about it.

    I often feel rejected.

    I am an indifferent housekeeper. I LIKE it clean, but there are so many things to do that are much more interesting and fun.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bwahahh since the first time you heard about *this* escapade, or since ever you first heard about her?

      You got hugged by the VP, Dyandellion – you are accepted in the UPPERMOST ECHELONS OF ‘MURICAN SOCIETY! I hope you still have time for your ole potato farmer stalker now you’re all off hob-nobbing with the bigwigs! (is that a secondary clark I see poking her little head around the corner, scott?)

      You belong here. Always.

      You do nice things to your house like decorate it for fall. And polish the hallway floor with your socks. That kind of thing 😉 It’s still more than I do.


    • Ohhh Social Media is DEATH to concerted writing! It’s very frustrating but I hate to miss out, and haven’t developed the self-control to NOT ENGAGE yet!

      I’ve got lots going on, and I don’t know about pleasing everyone – this week I’m struggling to please myself! But I’m glad it made you think, and that you thought it was awesome. Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. 1. did you make up perspectables because that’s fuggin’ brillz.
    2. I love LOVE who well you turn your negatives into positives. That attitude is infectious and amazing, and the reason you’re the Queen of Silver Linings.
    3. Were you talking cryptically about moi? *giggles* you’re the sweetest ever for being happy for me.
    4. Cograts on all your positives! They sounds wonderfultwinklyperfect. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • 4. I’m good at ‘sounding’. Less good at ‘feeling’.
      3. Yes. Of course 😀 HUGE awesomeness. And that one *is* with feeling. Not today, because buried under other stuff, but in general and when I’m not buried, YES!
      2. I try hard to. It’s necessary sometimes. This week it is. Today I should do more but I plain don’t want to, so I’m trying (and failing) to learn to stop SAYING things when I have nothing nice to say.
      1. Noooo I wish! It’s a Glennonism. Which totally explains why it’s SO VERY AWESOME.


  7. nicely done, L nicely done.
    (of course, I applaud the counter-balance of positive with the negative, but I enjoy (and therefore, am impressed with you construct*)
    I enjoyed reading it.
    (sorry I missed the chat… will try for next Friday, I mentioned to zoe that I would write a post about it, that would help me remember,)

    *which clarks will recognize as your originally having a feeling for the shape of ‘the thing that would be a Post’… this first step not requiring the facts/description of what it would be, simply the shape. the creative process as seen in people with the clarklike predominate worldview… very cool

    Liked by 1 person

    • There was no chat. We were all wrong-footed and at odds with one another. I want them to resume with some semblance of …routine I guess!

      Glad you liked this. You fake it til you make it, some weeks.



    I also am in awe, as other commenters are, that you can take a crap week and turn it around. It’s like mediation – I was once at a Marianne Williamson lecture, and she spoke about how we can’t just *meditate* when we’re FREAKING OUT. But that’s precisely when we should.

    Love you, SisterWife. But I feel bad that I contributed to the mess in your house. If I lived closer, I’d come and help sweep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I vacuumed after I swept the BIG PILE into an envelope to keep. And don’t even feel bad because the glitter was the BEST PART and it was beautiful and made me feel all *twinklyglowy* (a feeling I never get from dust or mess). And if you were here, I would SO have better things lined up than housework! Oy! But thanks 🙂

      I probably *should* try another set of ten. Or 100. But I precisely don’t want to. Not today. So don’t be in too much awe.


      Liked by 1 person

  9. I love this! So clever to start the way you did, the way my reflections on the week start all too often, and turned that train around! Well done. And GREAT JOB on Spidey Girl, that is awesome!
    Congrats on your glitter bomb and working so much you can have cake without guilt! THAT would be the only reason I would want to regularly work out, so I could eat CAKE 🙂 and I’m really having a slow go at that. We’re walking, it’s something, but you’re really kicking some major butt over there! In EVERYTHING! I’m glad you’re looking for silver linings and not beating yourself up for being human, because you are a fantastic human! Why wouldn’t EVERYONE want you to be there and go for dinner and drinks with you? That would be crazy.
    I actually wrote a quick post and I’m trying to link up now, even though my FIL is here (but the kids are crawling all over him so hopefully he won’t notice what a rude hostess I’m being on my laptop!)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ahhh thanks for being on your laptop and risking your FIL’s bemusment at your hostessing skils for our sake! And I’m still so glad you wrote and are IN this week.

      I won’t give you a list of reasons. Today I could come up with one all too easily. Suffice it to say I make friends slowly in real life. And likewise with the kicking butt – I didn’t go boxing today and all my house of cards has come tumbling down and I’m being haunted by the ghosts of all the cake I ate.

      BUT the glitterbomb was AWESOME AND I LOVED IT SO SO MUCH 😀

      And thank you – I think I did well with Spidey 😀


  10. Great excellent job of turning around the grumpy not enough stuff into the thankful celebrating life stuff like packing in the fun. Also – you knew I’d snag on this I’m sure – maintaining is all you really need to do anyway, anymore. Ok. And I’m still shuddering at you picking up that nasty hairy huge gross spider. I’d have burned the apartment down or something. Bleh. You look super cute in your perspectacles and I love the dandelion photo!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s an old pic, that one. It came out rather well and I knew it would come in handy. The dandelion photo has been one of my most beautiful/successful for a while, I think 🙂

      Your reaction to the spider issue was PRICELESS and it did make me laugh. I’mma throw away my houseplants though 😉

      And yes – I figured if anyone was going to pick up on it, it would be you, and it’s all very well to say that, but my target is…less. So maintaining is irritating. Especially as I didn’t go boxing today and my perspectacles have gotten lost. Meh. But thanks – I’m glad you think I did a good job. Either it was a good job or a good try or a good pretend, but it came across well.


  11. Well done point-for-point turnaround. Acknowledge the negatives, find the positive, move forward. Woot woot! Perspectacles are a good way to accomplish that.
    Your “filthydirtygrubbyawful” is about how I feel about my house right now – and I have the Hub’s family coming for break the fast meal tonight after Yom Kippur. This is the result of what is now – what, four or five weeks of being ill. OK, let’s find the positive – the toilets, at least, are clean. There’s that.
    Not sure how you didn’t freak about the spider…I certainly would have had a heart attack on the spot and died. After my encounter with the assassin bug a few weeks ago, I have had even worse bug issues than I did before. There is a HUGE web outside in our front yard-ish right now and I’m afraid to even leave the house…the spider who made said HUGE web is also HUGE. Hub says “just a garden spider…” Yeah – a HUGE garden spider. *shudders*

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Wonderful how you turned this from a frown to a smile. I was craving a cake so bad last week so I made a double chocolate one. Sadly I ate most of it. I’m so bad lately.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Susan, that is precisely the kind of thing I did. It’s terrible, isn’t it? I went out and bought a BIG chocolate pudding-y mousse-y dessert-y thing and ate it scooped onto a triple-choc cookie…and I didn’t even manage to feel guilty (at the time) – I just enjoyed every lick of it.

      Liked by 1 person

    • It’s alright – this comment came through 🙂

      Cake is never a necessity – it is an absolute indulgence and I’ve had far too much of it lately. But exercise to offset it does help a little when thinking back to all the LOTS of cake… *sigh*

      Liked by 1 person

    • I nearly wended my way back to you to copy&paste the recipe! AND CRAP! I was gonna get peanut butter at the shop and I totally didn’t. But that’s okay because if it was in the house then I would eat it. And if it’s not in the house then I can’t. That’s my new method – just don’t BUY the things, and then they’re not even a possibility. Gah!

      Yes you can have as many pairs as you like, Salty, my dear. And Earl Grey? NICE! 😀


  13. I LOVE your perspectacles, and oh how they change our view! I am totally feeling your #9 about phones working both ways. I have been stewing about a similar situation in my life and after reading this and agreeing that the relationship is worth being the one who bends over backward. I do believe I will make that call today. It makes me so happy to see how you put such a positive spin on your week!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I missed a call from one of those people. And when I tried to ring back, I got voicemail. I suppose I should leave a message, in case he’s screening out undesirables. ALRIGHT. You’ve made me think I need to make the effort. I am sure I’ll feel better for doing it and actually making contact. The relationship bears it. I’m just a lazy part of it.

      The perspetacles work as long as you work at them. Today I need to work harder.


  14. I’ve noticed your changing views of autumn. Perhaps next summer I need to take a good hard look about the positive things about summer here in the desert. It’s definitely my most challenging season here. Thanks for the inspiration. I love how you found the silver lining in each of your situations.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Or we could house swap. You could come here for summer and I could go there. That said, I wouldn’t want to leave, knowing that autumn and winter were going to be so cold and horrible over here.


    • It’s a brilliant phrase, and it’s a Glennon phrase, which is why it works (she, who also is credited with ‘brutiful’ – for the state of life (all of it?) which is a mixture of beautiful and brutal). Keep trying it, and keep attempting to find thankfuls – they ARE there. It’s tough to turn your attitude around (I know because at the moment I have the shit-shades on and I don’t even WANT to find good things) but it is worthwhile.


      • I think for me it’s more of a reminder to see the positives. I’ve found myself using the shit-tinted phrase many times to describe how I see situations so it’s very fitting to have a phrase to counteract it with. For me the Yin-Yang symbol represents the balance I need to find, and the dots are the good within the bad and vice versa.
        The symbol is ever present in my life being a tai chi person. Ultimately we are all looking at things with our own tint, it’s a case of correcting that sight deficiency in those of us with more acute colour defects! 😉
        Or something like that. Good post tho’!

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: Ten Things of Thankful #68 | The Ten Things of ...

  16. Love this – taking all the not great things and tossing on your rosy coloured perspectacles (which I’m still smiling at) to seek out the good. It’s exactly right this week. I feel it too – all the frustrating, annoying things that build and you feel buried under, but there is so, so much good too and pinpointing it helps immensely. Thank you! Enjoy the day off to catch up and have fun with your Goddaughter!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes – it’s very difficult to see the good things when you’re facing a kind of onslaught of small-but-nonetheless-real negatives. I deal badly with frustration at the best of times! I hope that you are able to find head-space to step back into, and just hide from real life for a bit (even five minutes!) and just reaffirm all the good things which there undoubtedly ARE in your world.


  17. I would like to be put on the record as being the FRIST one to post my TToT post this week. ON the record!!!!!!!

    Now, as for this post? LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! So many things about it- in summary? That all those things that could have pulled you down? You twisted your way into your perspectacles and SAW ALL THE GOOD and GLORIOUS around it. Oh, how I do adore that!!

    I haven’t stopped thinking about Samara’s story. How could I? I am both sick about it and entirely wanting to chase her down and hold her and rock her and help her heal… somehow. How does one hold THAT in for so long without dying? I pray she can look to counseling to start chipping away at the unbelievable trauma she endured…

    CAKE! Boxing! Friends! Writing! New souls to be released on Sisterwives! Husby! Trying! Flatbread! GLITTER!! JOB! God child! Oh so much goodness all in this post!!!

    And ME!!!!! Being FRIST!!!!!!

    Hee hee…

    Liked by 1 person

    • No, no, you still cheated :p No matter how impressed Lisa might be. In point of fact, you WEREN’T first, but only kind of were, because Leony’s post went live much earlier in the week but she wasn’t sure about joining it into the hop.


      You do make me laugh. At the moment I need that, even if it’s only echoing ghosts of laughter, somewhere deep down inside where they don’t crack through to the surface.

      Samara will be alright. She’s got her SisterWives around her (and others) and has seemed to suggest that her post brought much, much more good than bad. So YAY for that.

      As to the rest. Yes …I have some awesome people and things in my life. I am very blessed and should remember that more often.


  18. This post cheers me. And I have needed that. And a turn with your perspectacles, which I desperately need. I carefully swerved around all the rotten of this week in my post rather than try to perspectacle it. I still have that email to you sitting in my draft folder. Now I can’t even remember all I wanted to say (beyond the subject line which is all that I wrote) so I’ll have to fish back through your posts to refresh my memory. Soon. Maybe.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think you and I should have a good chat soon – whether on email or messenger or WHEREVER, just to be in touch and say (or not say) all the things which are buzzing around to be spoken of.

      Swerving around is an equally good tactic. I’m living that one today. But I’m glad this cheered you up 🙂


  19. That’s what gratitude is all about. Turning around the negative and looking at it a different way. My friend Lizzie Rogers told me that. And not to be too hard on ourselves. That I’m trying to learn for myself. You did wonderful things this week. Where would we be without Starbucks? I get a double tall skinny vanilla latte. Hot, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vanilla isn’t a flavour I had tried in coffee before. I usually go almond, but they were out. So I saw that they had non-sugar vanilla stuff and gave it a try. It was pretty good!

      Keep trying to learn. I’m up and down on the learning, and also on the gratitude. Today it’s a lot harder to keep those perspectacles in place, but never mind. They’ll be back.


  20. I am on the fence about which is worse…catching a tarantula or dragging a dead pig. I’m thinking the pig, since it’s alive and can’t jump, run, or bite.

    I love when people take “pests” like dandelions and make lovely photos. I have a similar photo of dandelions hanging on our dining room wall. Beauty can be found just about anywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that’s key – actually LOOKING for the beauty, rather than just hoping to come across it. Ergo thankful posts, as it happens.

      I don’t think either of your options would bother me unduly, but I would catch ten times the tarantulas and move LOTS of dead pigs rather than deal with your house when it gets infested with wolf spiders.


  21. i absolutely love and adore how you turned this around tonight. You are seriously the best and cannot say that enough. But again I have had my moments this week and others, too. However, you have given me a great reason to realize that no matter how stressed or bad can get, there is always a positive to the flip side. Hugs for that and more. Happy weekend now 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am quite, quite determined that there is always a Silver Lining SOMEWHERE. Sometimes it’s very hard to see, or you just don’t care, even when you do find it! But it’s there, and that counts.

      I hope you have a good weekend and that next week is manageable for you x


  22. I’m glad you were able to turn the negative list around. 🙂

    I forgot y’all have a spider. Please do not read my post about spiders (sometime later this week).

    Liked by 1 person

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