I’m not writing about not-writing, but I #AmWriting

I’m writing, though quite *what* I’m writing, I daren’t qualify. If you make it through to the end and discover some kind of point, let me know.

I just finished reading an absolute PIG of a post…no, really – Yvonne wrote it on purpose to suggest manners in which the (figuratively) bunged-up writer could unblock and begin to (literally) let the words flow again. Of course, a few tweets later and the whole thing had turned to crap (well, toilet humour at any rate, when autocorrect decided it wanted to play, too) and meanwhile I had a psycho twitter stalker to fend off, and a Facebook thread full of hysterical bloggers to entertain after someone said something about riding a skeleton, which rapidly disintegrated into ‘bone-r’ jokes (it was very humerus…)…where was I? 

The point of Yvonne’s post was (possibly) that one should simply write, if one is a writer (or purporting to be) and in ownership of a blog. She did also say something about journals and pieces of paper and actual-for-reals pens and ink but I paid no attention to that, because actually the blank screen helps me. I can touch-type* and the thoughts can flow from brain to page with very little interruption (such as getting irritated with myself for my ridiculous handwriting). That being said, there’s no guarantee that the resultant writing will be any better formed than that which might have been on page, for the content is probably much the same. That is to say, circular, full of extraneous, overcomplicated wordyisms** and pretty much pointless.
Except – get this! – the *point* of the exercise is in the doing. Purely that.
Writer brain

The entire redeeming feature of putting nib to paper (or pixel to screen, as it so happens) is an end in itself and as such seems totally justifiable.
Apart from the publishing. That’s just cruelty, because it seems inevitable that there will be a number of unsuspecting folk lured over here expecting something well-thunk-out, ‘Considering-y’ and burnished gold around the edges with beauty and glitter – the kind of writing I like to flaunt when I’m in That Place of hyperdrives and mojo and goodness knows what else…alas – no burnish here – more an offering along the lines of…hmmm…those times when you *really* need a book to read, and from sheer desperation you resort to reading the backs of packaging because it’s the only thing within reach which has words, but the words themselves still manage to soothe you, and you croon yourself happy wrapping your mind around the honeyed syllables and crunchy consonant-clusters of things like “monosodium triglutenate”, “aqua pura” or “dihydrogen monoxide”.
To those disappointed unsuspecting amongst you, I have this to say – [comment removed by wordpress.com]
And to YOU (for I assume that you, reading this, right now, are not one of those disappointed unsuspecting, but rather one of the adaptable ones, whose expectations of my writing are flexible enough to adapt to something which may well be utter tripe masquerading as an experiment to see what smoke gets blown where, or whether it’s plausible to claim redemption for a post purely based off the number of circles in which it writes) I have this to say – thanks.
Thanks for sticking with this so far – goodness knows it’s been rather a trip inside (and outside – don’t forget these thoughts *weren’t* supposed to go anywhere, until my preference for pixels and my endless need for validation got in the way) my writer brain [and if I might take you on a parallel for a moment – my friend Salty posted her methodolinogical approach to writing, and she almost said the n-word***, then called me brainy and said something about clouds (not all in the same place – that would be silly), but the point is this – I did that post in APRIL, yo! and as much as I’m a little astonished to see the meme continues, I’m also prepared to jump back in with this, as an adjunct or otherwise superfluous tangential, to suggest that on occasion, it’s possible to write something with so much BS, no-one will suspect it makes no sense, even when it does (mostly in the white areas, between sentences).] and I hope you appreciate it for that, if nothing else.
Thanks for coming over in the first place – was it the title which grabbed your attention? Or the fact that I’m super-famous for being such a gud riter? Either way, I’m glad you’re here****.
Thanks for being the reason I wrote – ancient wisdom passed down to me by your friendly, neighbourhood Dilettante not so long ago consisted entirely of this: “Consider your audience” – I thought of you; YOU, there behind your screen, with your synapses firing all skew-whiff now you’ve spent valuable brainpower processing this. Perhaps those neural pathways needed a workout – sometimes there’s just not enough crazy in life and a frisson of added nutty-bunniness just rounds it off nicely.
And just thanks, whoever you are, for having gotten to this point. I’d turn the post into a hidden giveaway (and by ‘hidden’, I mean deeply-buried) but the last giveaway I did turned out to be a total bust. Or the one before did. One of them, where I hid it in plain sight and no-one joined in at all (“But ‘ow did zat make you feel?” the Dilettante intoned, earlier. Crappy, is how it made me feel, and as though I’d been writing into a black hole.) So I won’t. Unless, quite suddenly I do, and decide that the frist person to include something totally bonkers in their comment and make me laugh will win a heretofore undisclosed secret-surprize-prize.

So here I am. At the end of a piece of – can I call this ‘writing’? If you’re sure it’s not an insult to, yaknow, *actual* writing – whatever it was I wrote while I was all ‘#AmWriting’ and pretending, for a time, to be Da Bomb.


*Okay, I can mostly touch-type…sometimes I might try to italicise something and open a file instead, using some magical key-prompt I never knew existed and couldn’t possibly replicate because I wasn’t watching my damn fingers.
**It’s my blog and I’ll neologise if I want to.
***NOVEL, you dunce – what kind of person do you think she is? SHAME ON YOU if you thunk anything else! We’re just not actually *saying* the n-word because saying it makes it feel real, which also feels kinda silly when really this is only playing at writing and definitely, above all else (and particularly on the content of this post) Not Real.
***If you’re here because you know me and clicked over in the misguided notion that I had something sensible to say, or just because you like me, you’re excused.
Parting shot, for those interested parties…this made me feel less like a kid playing pretend (that was yesterday’s post, which I thoroughly enjoyed, for all the silly beauty of it) and more like I should have found the decency to write this in crayon. On craft paper. With glitter-glue. But there was over 1100 words, so CLEARLY I *wrote* and based on the original assumption, that’s still worthwhile. So the jury’s out until I see what kind of feedback I get (seriously – you could win a prize…be awesome (or is that cheating? (I could invalidate the validity of my search for validation at this rate! (shocking, I know (perhaps not-so-secretly I’d just rather be liked (and if that means being considered a bit bonkers (which I am – let’s face it (how many people do *you* know with this much passion for stacked parentheses?!)) then so be it))))))

51 thoughts on “I’m not writing about not-writing, but I #AmWriting

  1. Pingback: Serendipitous Prestidigitonium! | The Qwiet Muse

  2. What I deeply, deeply like about WordPress, is the screen you get when you go to New Post and make it big screen. It’s just white, completely white. I love that. If you write in for example Word, there is all this rubbage around it, and an annoying cursor. But in WordPress it’s like a little heaven. And the only thing you get to see when moving he cursor, is ‘Just write’. Love love love it.

    On the other hand, when I write thing by hand, it feels much more emotional sometimes. I like that as well. But it goes slowly and you can’t put it on WP so yeah, typing it is…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve not written much by hand except when I’m at work and all I have is a notebook. I prefer the computer cos it’s quicker and I’m able to keep up with my thoughts better. Word I like. Notepad and whatever the free version of Word is, annoy me. 🙂


  3. Pingback: Ten Things of Thankful #62 | Considerings

  4. I absolutely LOVE a post with no point, but if you had no point, did you really have a point? This made my brain hurt, but that’s probably mostly because I’m used to talking to three tiny people all day, and adult conversation sometimes confuses me. Either way, I’m glad you wrote something! It’s better than I’ve been doing. I haven’t written anything on my blog in 3 weeks! I feel like my arm has been cut off, and yet, I kind of don’t care….scary thoughts for a blogger.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My point, in the end, was just to write. Objective achieved. And it certainly unblocked – I’ve done three posts in three days, and another which will show up on Sisterwives at some point! I LOVE having it back. My writing disappeared…not for as long as three weeks, but certainly long enough for me to question whether or not it was coming back. But I did care (though I had moments where I could imagine never taking it up again – I get that 🙂 )

      You’ll get back to it 🙂 Give it time, and don’t force it.


  5. My attention span is that of a gnat – although, now that I think of it, gnats seem fairly persistent when they are buzzing about and attempting to land on your eyeballs or fly up your nose. But I digress – what I was wondering was twofold:

    “To those disappointed unsuspecting amongst you, I have this to say – [comment removed by wordpress.com]”

    1) Did wordpress.com actually remove a comment here? Are they CENSORING our work??
    2) What WOULD you say to the unsuspecting (assuming wordpress does not censor your response)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gnats are incredibly persistent, though not as determined as mosquitos nor as assholey as wasps.

      1) NO! They did not. That was a wicked ruse, which you alone called out! 😀 Muy bueno.
      2) Probably something along the lines of “Nerts to you!” (complete with Radar-style beanie…)


  6. Well, I’m glad my post inspired/encouraged you to write this one. (Yes. I am.)
    As for autocorrect, it does have quite a line in toilet humour.
    I am not a good typist, as in I make a lot of mistakes, which autocorrect then corrects wrongly, which is why I often start with notepad and pen. That particularly applies to fiction, though not necessarily to stories about pigs. But anyway, that’s why I suggest said notebook and pen, and since you can type fast you have my full permission to do so. And to come and teach me how to stop making mistakes, because years and years of writing have not cured me.
    Something came into my head then, but it’s gone again. That’s how slow I type. Oh yes – I used to believe there was a connection between writing with a pen and accessing the unconscious mind, but then I read “My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor. She’s a neuroscientist who had a stroke affecting the left side of her brain, and eventually made full recovery. When she was in recovery she couldn’t right because, being right-handed that required her left brain, but she could type, since it used both sides.
    So type away!
    This may not be the funniest comment but it is full of information you never knew you wanted!
    And I totally get the validation thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think the most inspiring writer I ever heard of was Jean-Dominique Bauby, who dictated the ENTIRE manuscript of The Diving Bell and The Butterfly with winks of one eye…the only part of his body he retained control over…

      But you’re right – I was fascinated by your comment – it truly is fully of information I never knew I wanted. And I now have a snicket of terror in the middle of my mind because I never knew that a stroke could rob you of the ability to write. Thank GOODNESS for typing!

      As for typing fast – practice, practice, practice. I’ve been working on it for probably two decades, and I still make typos and have to go back and erase things and correct a bit here and there…

      But yes, in the end, however it is we write, we should WRITE 🙂


    • *snorks* I can’t BEGIN to imagine the pig’s ear I’d make of it! I like the idea of telling a story one day though. But spoken word…(don’t tell anyone)…bugs me. It always feels so desperate – the intonation; the rhythms getting faster and faster and more intense until, barely stopping for sobbing breaths, the poet makes their point…and then pauses

      for emphasis,

      as though the words in and of themselves weren’t enough, but physical space were needed, and sufficient mid-air to hang them on to let them be understood.


  7. i read this four times. (*lying*)

    i think this is just really cool and I love the mission behind it to just WRITE. I also know that we all have seasons of dry spells or whatnot and perhaps that’s when we can breathe and exhale things like this. Or rest our writer’s heart and read…pray…think…live! Live life and experience the freshness that it offers our writing souls…

    Then it comes. It always comes again!!

    I love your words- always, no matter where they take me…where they take you!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Now then, that’s not STRICTLY true, is it Kitty. To the point where you wrote the most glorious post utterly REBUKING some of my words. Rightly so, as it happens. And I still think on that post from time to time, and wish I could write it on the walls of my spirit so that it might sink in…

      Eventually we figure out a way to slip back into the patterns which sustain us. This is one of my positive ones – this writing. And I’m glad of it.

      (You read it five times really, right? 😉 )


  8. Ooo! I get to win a prize for original and funny commenting?

    Let’s see…. (er, maybe not totally original)

    One day there was this little boy. All the boy wanted to be was a writer. So he told his family that he would one day be a writer.. When they asked him what kind of things he would like to write he replied “I would like to write something that makes my readers feel. They should be sad, they should get mad, they should jump up into the air and pull their hair out… so profoundly good will my writing be” …..

    And then what? When he grew up. Can you guess what kind of job he got?

    Well friend Lizzy – he is now a writer for Microsoft –
    Writing all their error messages.

    As for the rest of your … what 1200 word ramblings I think the point is for you to try and get over your wirters block and the ….. way you are feeling right now. (threfore joke above) I’m here if you wanna talk.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I can almost, with a fair amount of certainly, proclaim I will possibly, probably, definitely be reading this again. I admit it made me smile, not the :o) kind of smile where you say you were smiling since no one can see that you’re not, no, it was the real deal, a bonafide smile . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhh well that makes me happy on the inside (and on the outside, cos I’m pretty sure I just smiled a quite large, actual, InFact smile) because there’s almost nothing comparable to knowing that one’s writing – however vaguely ramblifying it may be – has inspired a smile on the face of a hitherto unknown person in an as-yet-undefined geographinatudinal location behind their own screen.

      Gotta love the Blogosphere 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  10. at (least) one other (person)… though you have much better skills at the parentheticalized parenthesiseses…. (I will claim status as neologizer as well, my claim is not in the words I credit, but rather the unexplainable * lack of shame with which I use these words and such.
    I am glad I came by tonight!

    *actually that is a bit of a lie, it is explainable, by everyone’s favorite Doctrine… clarks have this really amazing, nearly totally secret confidence (in and of intellect**) as to allow the comfort in the words we make simply because we feel like it.

    ** not knowledge or language skills, not even intelligence …our confidence is in our intellect. I know go figure

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aren’t we disgusting sometimes? But yeah – I do it in *actual* conversation, too…and sometimes it even manages to get passed off without requiring explanation or that moment when everyone cops on and dissolves into giggles because I just invented a word for a whatever I couldn’t remember the *actual* term for 🙂

      I’m glad you did, too – I learned. Learning is good.


  11. Ack! I’m not good at the funny when I’m on the spot! I was on an improv group in college. It didn’t go well. The only skits I did well were the ones where I was by myself ad-libbing a story with ideas thrown in from the audience.
    Ok, in honor of your post with no real point, I give you the funniest joke ever told. Stick with it, just as your faithful readers stick with your rambling. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gotta love a post with no real point, O faithful reader 😉 And yeah…the moth joke was funny, but not as good as the NACHO CHEESE! Joke.

      Also, I laughed harder at your lip-synch video than at the fella’s joke. You were funnier. By far 🙂


      • Hahaha! I almost wrote nacho cheese and left it at that! Dammit! You Clark’s are rubbing off on me, making me overthink things!
        FYI, I just typed funniest joke ever told into Google. That’s what it came up with. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Did you really? Google sucks. It has no sense of humour – it’s a total roger (apart from that secondary scottian bit in the ‘feeling lucky’ thing).

          Had you written NACHO CHEESE, I think I would have laughed uproariously, just for the history there…


  12. Make you laugh? Well…I don’t know if I can make you laugh..but I could probably make you smile. Perhaps even giggle. But laugh? Hmmm…one time at an aquarium my mother video taped me walking into the glass where the fish lived..my head actually ricocheted off the glass and hit it a second time. It’s probably something you need to see to actually laugh. And it could be that just my kids laugh about it. I didn’t find it funny. And I had a bad haircut in that video.

    I enjoyed this post quite a bit! Thanks for writing it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I laughed but mostly cos I recently fell over playing netball and hit my head so hard in the court it bounced and hit again.

      Now if you *shared* the video….


      I’m happy you liked this. And I *did* laugh…

      Liked by 1 person

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