Bondage (and not the fun kind)

I’m sure this isn’t a revelation to many of you, but you can be in bondage to all kinds of things. Sometimes this is funner than others.

In the case of today’s stories, it’s the not-fun kind (sorry). It’s the immensely hard, stuck-in-this-place-and-it-hurts kind. The desperate, agonising kind which eventually wears you down beyond the end of your strength and starts undermining your soul.

And the worst thing is, while you’re tied up in it, you can do little else. Your capacity to love or help others is severely reduced, because your world shrinks to the size of whatever Big Ugly has its teeth and claws death-locked into your psyche.

HandsfreeBut what if you were free? What then?

That was the question which struck me (finally, after years of not even considering what life would look like beyond the constriction of those bonds).

Come on over to Say What You Want To Say (at Mother of Imprefection) to read ‘Hang-ups and Hypocrisy’, in which I made quite a revolutionary leap in my patterns of thinking.

And please, do me the very great honour of also visiting the SisterWives site, to read the brave and heartbreakingly beautiful story my Precious, Samara, wrote about the devastating way her marriage ended.

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29 thoughts on “Bondage (and not the fun kind)

  1. You have healed the visible wounds – and now you’re moving on to the invisible ones. Knowing they’re there is half the battle. Don’t close the door on a new relationship – you’re starting a new chapter in the book of your life. There may be someone out there who takes you by surprise. But take your time. Gather your strength. Figure out who you are first. This is a great step. Very raw and powerful. And it will help someone. Thank you for speaking out.

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  2. β€œYour capacity to love or help others is severely reduced, because your world shrinks to the size of whatever Big Ugly has its teeth and claws death-locked into your psyche.” Ah, Lizzi – while you may think this is the case, it isn’t. Your capacity to love is infinite and you have helped me more than you know! I know it’s not like ending world hunger or finding homes for all of the unwanted pets – but it means a lot to me!

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    • Jana, I live very much by the starfish theory – it makes a difference to this one. And thank you, so, so very much for letting me know that you’ve found me helpful.

      I still think if I was less self-obsessed I could do more πŸ™‚

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  3. I read both linked posts. My heart goes out to Samara. And I’m pretty sure that when Samara thinks of you, she thinks of your love and how you were there for her in her most desperate time of need. I hope that both of you can recognize the goodness each of you has.

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    • Yes – Samara and I are a right pair! But we do boost one another up, and look out for one another, so there’s that. I am HUGELY thankful for SW for putting me in touch with her, and for being part of the way we’ve grown as friends πŸ™‚ And thank goodness I was around that night…!

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