My favourite decade
was…ahhh nope. You can’t get me there, FTSF. This is a trick question, fer sher!
For me, Lovelies, it’s quite simple. None of my decades has been my favourite so far. Unless we’re talking musically, in which case it’s the 60’s all the way. Because they were GREAT for music, and don’t you dare try to deny it.
No. In the 80’s I was too busy being born and learning that childhood in my unique-yet-not situation was somewhere rather challenging to be.
In the 90’s, there was just challenge and heartache and suckiness. If there was a decade of my life I would quite happily torch and never see hide nor hair of again, it is the 90’s.
There was precisely ONE thing I can be thankful for about the 90’s, and that is September of 1999, when I first met my bestfriendinthewholeworld. But we took an instant dislike to each other, so it’s entirely possible that I can still write off the 90’s, burn them with fire and attribute her to the better side of the Millennium.
The naughties masqueraded as being fun, yet somehow totally failed to deliver. Yes, I entered the workforce and began the long, slow process of turning into a halfway decent human being. (IMMENSE effort, and I know I’m not there yet, but there’s time…there’s time!).
The 10’s. Which always seems so clunky to say.
Let’s take a look.
In 2010 I got married, which you might hope and think would be a shining, beacon of positive loveliness in my world, and so it was, but it has also heralded a recursion to the Feels of the most challenging times in my life thus far. And it has also brought new worlds of pain with it.
If you want to know more (and believe me, I wax lengthy on these) feel free to find my word cloud over there on the right, and hit ‘miscarriage’, ‘infertility’ or ‘depression’, and you’ll see why it’s really not been great so far.
(anyone else hear “UNDERSTATEMENT” echoing around here?)
If nothing else, the 10’s have brought me some really pure golden wonderful shiny-happy bits.
Blogging is one. Writing generally, another. Getting fitter. Healing relationships. Developing relationships. Ever-growing bonds with Niece and Neff. New friends. Old friends.
And it’s all lovely, but no. Too much heartbreak at the beginning of the 10’s for this to be it.
My decade will be the 20’s.
And in glorious style, as I think back to how the 20’s really was the beginning of glamour and gorgeousness and a feeling that the spirits of the world had somehow lifted. There was a lightness of being, which made its way into wartime determination in England, and it founded an absolutely unshakeable faith that we would NOT be put down.
And though I sincerely hope there are no wars, and no more heartbreak, I think that for me, the 20’s will be WONDERFUL.
I will get to be 40, or – more importantly, 41 (which is going to be ‘my AGE’) – and I will be able to look back on my life and know that there’s still SO MUCH time to have fun and relax into being a grown-up and just ENJOY, without all the anxiety and complexity and pain of every other decade.
I will be confident and capable and I will have my shit together. And even if I feel like I don’t, there might be some impressionable young 30 year old, who thinks that *somehow* I know what I’m talking about, and who’ll listen when I impart pearls of wisdom.
Because by then I will have lived. There will be sufficient experience under my belt for me to take the gloves off and lay them down, knowing I don’t need to fight, because it’s not about fighting – it’s about dancing.
I will be able to do silly things without feeling unnecessarily self-conscious, because WHO CARES?! And I’ll truly buy into that. And I will (maybe) finally be able to accept the parts of myself I still struggle with now. I might be able to look in a mirror and catch my own eye and just smile, instead of looking for something to criticise.
And most importantly, there’s always the possibility that I’ll finally be at peace enough with feelings and self-worth and have enough faith in other people that when someone tells me they love me, my immediate response won’t be to panic and wish I could run the other way, because the wonder and the terror of that is too overwhelming. I might even be able to say it back.
It’s all about goals, people. And the 20’s are gonna be GREAT!
Of all the things I’ve written lately, I think the one which has (rightfully) had the most impact – for better and for worse – has been my two-part post for Our Land, on Getting Older.
This week, the concluding and most powerful part went live, and the response has been INCREDIBLE. People are scared of this – of the future that awaits them in old age. Or they feel that pinch now, as they struggle with how to address the needs of the aged people who belong to them. Or they worry about their children and how to raise them with a right attitude towards this oft-marginalised sector of society.
And I propose no fixes. No changes in regime or calls to revolution. But what I do want to see changed is people’s hearts.
That’s where the answer lies – inside of each of us.
We just have to find it.
A NEW Bard – and this time, new to me as well! Come on over and see Zoe’s pal RICK as he debuts with his poem ‘Hobbled’.
My dear friend Marcia, who you might know as the Menopausal Mother, has a reputation for being bubbly and sparkly and bright and always, always happy and full of funny. And you’re right, she is, but that second ‘always’ isn’t strictly true, because Marcia also has a seriously gorgeous deep-and-thinky side to her.
I confess, I had written her off at first as ‘just another humour blogger’ (albeit one who was doing very well) and then I stumbled across one of her posts which identified her as a person I recognised. One I felt echoes from. And when she asked me to consider writing for Jenn at My Daily Jennism, because she was doing a month of Mental Health March – how could I refuse? A topic (and a friend) close to my heart.
And so I wrote. And I haven’t scared anyone away yet, which is a relief. And there’s a part two of this to come, as well. But first, let me take you back into my past – those dreaded 90’s you read about, and some noughties as well…
And so from the desperate into the utterly-bloody GLORIOUS! Helena Hann-Basquiat, who I introduced you to earlier this week, and who has the most gorgeous, effortlessly elegant style of writing I have ever, ever come across (seriously – my writing wants to be like hers when it grows up), REACHED HER GOAL!
Which means, YES – she gets to publish, and YES – she gets her reviewers, and YES – her world was made utterly perfect and without-blemish for several golden seconds.
But most importantly: I GET MY FOR-REAL BOOK WITH HER WORDS IN IT!
And that’s really all that matters.
And (nearly) last of all into a gorgeous, gorgeous romp, because when one of your darling ‘Mericans asks you whether you’d mind writing something for her, you WRITE, dammnit! And so I wrote. And poor Sandy had no idea what she was letting herself in for, because not only did I send her something which requires TWO posts to complete (hey, am I rocking the two-parters this week or what?!), I also cliffhangered the story and ONLY SENT HER THE FIRST HALF.
Because the second half is only half written.
And now the first half is out there and published, and has a few people hooked in, I really need to deliver!
Kidding. I’m going to be gardening and delightfully covered in mud again. And I’m pretty sure that tonight there will be the Awesome Bloggers VidChat.
But I shall FORSURE be Thankful. So I hope that you’ll join me…