I write a lot about my friends. Mostly because they’re lifeblood to me. I’m absolutely, 100,000,000% a ‘people person’ and it’s within relationships that I thrive. I’m absolutely blessed to have made so many wonderful friends, all with differing degrees of (geographical and emotional) closeness, and where I’m luckiest is that I feel that I have several who approach the inner-circle of friendship.
The inner-circle (in The World According To Me) is where your People go. The ones you feel most at home with. Safest; connected on many levels and able to understand one another, almost immediately. There’s a delicious level of synchronicity which exists there, and you might find yourself, on occasion, seeming to ‘channel’ one another, especially if you’ve been spending a lot of time together.
Your People are the ones who you turn to first in a crisis. The ones you ask for advice. The ones you trust with your secrets, your fears and your hopes. The ones who tell you their dreams, their frustrations, their sorrows and the things which make their hearts glow. The ones you’re at home with.
And yet there’s a further level to friendship, and it happens at the very epicentre of the inner-circle.
I know that there are many definitions to this term, and I’m sure that I won’t be able to even scratch the surface here, in terms of what it means to have one, or be one. But let me try.
First and foremost, I don’t think your soulmate has to be your spouse or significant other. If that happens, so much the better, and bully for you. To my mind it’s the person to whom you somehow, perhaps without warning, and almost certainly without effort or trying, find yourself belonging to (in a way), at the same time as they begin to belong to you.
The synchronicity runs deep; to the point of identical exclamations or thoughts, even over huge geographical distances or after time apart. It speaks to shared viewpoints (not all, but a significant number), senses of humour, senses of self, and most of all, the ability to communicate in a way which somehow is beyond words and non-words, but happens as though your hearts speak directly to one another.
And the best thing about a soulmate is that you never lose them. No matter the other relationships or friendships or time spent apart, when you meet, or talk, or even think of one another, you belong.
I have one.
And in a serendipitous moment of Blogosphere-magic, I found myself challenged to write a poem on the topic of ‘influential women’, and without straying into inheritance, there was only one woman who I could consider as the largest, most wonderful influence in my life.
And when I wrote this poem and sent it to her, she cried and used the ‘S’ word to me. I went all *twinklysparklyglowy* and used it right back.
We have shared so much over the very-nearly-half-our-lifetimes knowing each other.
All the things of true, deep-down goodness (late-night philosophy, poetry, dreams, hopes…wine)
All the things of incredible silliness (licks on the face, kicks in the backside, fantastical word-stories of burly Farmer-boys, holding hands and skipping down the road…wine)
All the things of practical sensibleness (stationery, clothes, carshares, advice, blankets, pizzas…wine)
All the things of comfy, heart-warmyness (compliments, sofas, long conversations, movie-a-thons, hugs, tears, sleepovers…wine)
All the stages of our lives from teenagers to thirty-somethings.
All the things.
Because of all the People, she is my Person. And I am hers.
Though our lives will change and shift and fall apart and get fixed back together; though our locations may alter; though our hopes and dreams and hurts and fears will pass through seasons and become altered with time; though the inevitable onward movement of life will change us both, there will probably always be wine and wonder.
And there will definitely always be Us.