Firstly and most importantly, I *have* to share this with you.
Some of you will roll your eyes, having heard it a hundred times and not really listened to the lyrics. You may skip on to the rest of the post.
For some of you, hearing this will be a profoundly moving experience.
I was in the latter group, and can only once again express my delight and joy and HUGE gratitude to lovely Sandy, who shared it first, at her blog, yesterday, on this hop. The rest of her post is fabulous too, but this song made my day. I have been mainlining it ever since. I kid you not – I’ve listened to it on a loop for several hours straight (that’s how I roll…)
In a week which has been truly challenging, this song and its beautiful lyrics shot straight to my heart. It was an absolute bullseye. And a much-needed one. Because this week (at times) has been desperately, crushingly hard. To the point where the clouds have descended in front of my eyes, my breath has caught in my lungs, as though they were paralysed, and it’s been all I could do to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
I was on my knees, floundering, nearly lost and swept out to sea (again) by the sneaker-wave of grief which thundered into my life last weekend, when I was already struggling. The timing truly sucked.
But. And here’s where the Thankful begins. I had so, SO many friends (and relations) both on and offline, who held me close, dusted me down and helped put me back together; back on my feet and kindasortanearly ready to go out and face the world again (1).
Which I did. With aplomb (2) (10 Awesome Points to anyone who referenced this, this weekend. 10 more to anyone who knows (without looking it up) what a ‘fortnight’ is).
I accepted a most beautiful ‘sisterhood’ blogging award, which lovely Cyndi awarded me because she likes me, and all sorts of other wonderful-things-that-she-said-reasons (3). And then because I wasn’t happy that I only got 10 nominations to make at the end of it (though I was HUGELY delighted to write about my beautiful friends and share their blogs, and their selves, with other people), and even though I broke the rules (because I can, and frequently do (4)) I wanted more.
So I created my own award (5) and handed out a load of Hardwired Hearts. And because it was late and the list was already SO LONG, I stopped. Ready to pick up again this weekend. Which raised no small amount of flak and aggravation from certain people who shall Mike remain J nameless Mele.
I went to my work Christmas meal, and had FUN (6). Slightly (but not too much, promise) drunk fun, with much letting off of steam and being silly together and eating good food, and gloating about the most GORGEOUS tiramisu (7), when others had ordered a not-nice cheesecake. I WON at pudding.
I co-hosted Finish The Sentence Friday (8) and in spite of the extra effort of another blog hop to manage over the weekend, it was such fun, and a real honour, as FTSF is the first hop I ever joined in with, and like your first Timelord, your first blog hop is not something you get over in a hurry.
I’m SO grateful that when you stop moving and interacting on Google+ video chat, it automatically ends your video feed and puts your profile picture back up for everyone else to see (9). Because I might’ve completely, totally fallen asleep HALFWAY THROUGH CHATTING with Clark, Michelle and Zoe. And I felt SO embarrassed when I woke up at 4 in the morning to discover myself ‘alone in the room’. And then I knew that THEY’D SEEN ME ASLEEP!
Fortunately, after much panicked messaging, I was able to ascertain the following
- I’m great at sleeping sitting up whilst looking as though I’m deep in concentration
- I neither drooled or snored
- I’m “cute” when I’m asleep
I’m thankful to the Nth degree for Husby(10), who got on and returned the defunct sledges (they were for Niece and Neff, but Grandma bought them one each and neglected to mention it to me), made the Christmas cards (and checked the list so I could see how many stamps I needed to buy whilst at the post office today (mailing out my lovely red package to Beth – remember?) and for giving such good hugs when I returned from my shopping trip traumatised by Too Much Christmas Everywhere, and a veryincredibly cute tiny girl who patted my leg and smiled up at me excitedly while I was in line at the greengrocer’s stall…
And because it’s MY HOP and I want to, I’m going to name a few more of the (still-to-be-finished) list of recipients of the Hardwired Heart…
Remember the rules – it’s not just for bloggers – it’s for ANYONE ONLINE, this award. Anyone who means something special to you.
1) Nominate as many people as you like – but you have to say WHY they mean so much to you. Declare it proudly and shout it from the rooftops.
2) If you receive one, try to pass it on to at least one other person.
Katia – can write to break your heart in two, fix it together, transport you to another time or place, or speak so gently and personally, it’s as though she’s RightThere in front of you, showing you the world through her eyes. She’s also a really, really sweet lady, a gentle soul and a great offerer of support, encouragement and wisdom.
Mike – my constant pal and back-up (or grasser-up when shit goes down) in wreaking havoc and chaos whenever there’s an opportunity for silliness, irreverence or a wind-up. Especially on Twitter, where we have most of our fun and cause most upset and trouble. Which we love. We collect the number of times people *rolls eyes* at us.
Terrye – not around on the Blogosphere so much these days, but a consistent Bubbler, and very cool lady. We began rockily with the promise of a duel or evisceration of some kind (which never happened, by the way), but once I’d gotten to know that she’s not HALF the bad-ass she’s advertised as, and is in fact [Comment removed after
a fight, which I lost an un-refusable request from Terrye was made, along the lines that over-saccharinity would ruin the reputation she’s worked so hard and given people aggro for SO LONG to build up]
Starr – *shrugs insouciantly* She’s brave, she’s fierce, the gloves are always off; she’s addictive. And I’m hooked. With all the related risks. Too much and there’s a very real possibility of ending up burned. But I can’t not go back for more because she’s so good.
Jen – Maestro of the Blogosphere (to me) – wonderful, open, friendly, awesome-mom with the talent and passion to start a music hop in the blogosphere and become instantly one of the coolest people out there. Her hop brings SO MUCH beauty in rhythm, harmony and melody. It (and she) makes the world a better place.
Kerri – absolutely straightforward, uncomplicated and very cool, Kerri is my constant supplier of ‘bitch-slaps through the internet’ for when I write something she fundamentally disagrees with or thinks I’m wrong on. She’s also wonderful, yaknow?
Joy (to the world) – mad as a box of frogs, hilarious, truthful, generous, and with a genuine heart for others…she’s just amazing. And has surprised me by going out of her way to provide that to me. I have lots of affection for this lovely lady.
Teresa – a dear and wonderful friend who Knows the path I tread, and who offers guidance and support from her own experiences, and encouragement and friendship from one of the biggest, most giving hearts I know of. She is a huge source of support to SO MANY.
Helen – okay, so Helen’s not strictly JUST an internetty friend. But she deserves a mention here because we’ve not managed to meet up in the longest time, but have had some fabulous chats and the feelings of mutual support and care are very strong.
SanFranFriend – another non-blogger, but supporter of mine, and has often been the one person I write for, as I knew he enjoyed my posts so much. Sadly his work has taken over his time, but we have wonderful, supportive conversations on Facebook, and as he’s In America, I’m so grateful for the opportunities afforded us by social media, to keep us in touch.
Kathy – my dear, wonderful chapter-buddy in Sunshine After The Storm, Kathy is almost permanently in ‘encouragement mode’ and is perhaps one of the sweetest people I know. She has such a warmth about her, and a presence of kindness and niceness with no edge or agenda. A treasure to know.
Alyson – she’s crass, she’s loud, she’s funny. She’s also good at bringing the Real, working through the nitty gritty and providing information from experience to manage those rougher patches. She awesomerocks and has had more influence on me than she probably even knows.
Lori – my fellow novelist, friendly critiquer, fellow ‘occasional snarker’ and really WONDERFULLY encouraging person when it comes to my writing. A way cool lady with a love for Truth, kairos moments and fun to rival my own 😀
More to follow…