The Hardwired Heart Award

Lovelies, it’s time to announce the inception of a brand new award.

I’ve been presented with a number of blogging awards in the past few months, and they’re truly wonderful things, given (and passed on) largely in recognition of the style and quality and content of a fellow blogger’s writing, and how it speaks to you.

But each time I complied with the rules and chose my five or ten or eleven bloggers to be nominated to receive the award from me, I felt horribly uncomfortable and discomfited, because important people – important to me people – were missing out.

The recognitions were for writing, or for sisterhood, or for sunshine…and while these are all well and good and completely wonderful, sometimes the people on the internet who I’ve become close to, and who matter to me, begin to take precedent over the content or style of their blog.

They are more than ‘just bloggers’ to me – they matter, and have become friends.

I’ve referred enough to this concept that you’ve probably all read it before here – the idea that I’ve (in a small but significant way) ‘hard-wired’ my heart: plugged it into the internet and allowed myself to explore and enjoy the treasure which is ‘Being Friends Online’.

It’s new territory, and for some it may seem too surreal – to not have face-to-face time (but wait, there’s video chat…) or to be stuck in different time-zones (it’s fine – messages in print can be seen hours later without losing their meaning) or to even know the basics like what a person’s voice sounds like…how tall they are…how they walk…their mannerisms and facial expressions (you can figure these out yourselves – there’s sufficient social media capability in the world to allow for these too, to be revealed).

But here’s the thing: with the removal of all the traditional face-to-face social constructs, we bypass the distractions (like “Is she more fashionable than me?”, “Why does he do that irritating thing with his eyebrows?”, “I wish she’d get off her phone and stop texting while we’re meant to be spending time together” and even the stomach clenching “I’ve run out of things to say…”) and get to know the very essence of a person.

Our heart and soul, poured through our fingertips, into letters, to be read and understood by our intended.

It’s a new world, lovelies, and it’s beautiful. But it needs more recognition.

So here’s the new award: The Hardwired Heart Award.

And it’s not just for bloggers – it’s for ANYONE.

As with all awards – the rules:

1) Nominate as many people as you like – but you have to say WHY they mean so much to you. Declare it proudly and shout it from the rooftops.
2) If you receive one, try to pass it on to at least one other person.

Hardwired Heart Award
Hardwired Heart Award

So with no further ado, the first round of nominations (because honestly, there are so many that I can’t begin to tackle them all at once – keep a weather eye for more in upcoming posts)

Dana – Kiss My List – so sweet and wonderful and manages to provide much-needed common sense, care and concern when appropriate, and the occasional influx of loveliness which has the ability to make me go quite soppy, perhaps more than once in the day. Dana is particularly important to me, as she is one of the people who offered to hold onto my baby hopes for me, when the pain of holding onto them myself became too much. What an incredible, wonderful lady she is.

Julie – Next Life No Kids – I’ve mentioned her before, as well – my Bad Juju, who always turns out Good. She’s always utterly truthful and brooks no obfuscation, but has a beautiful, incredible heart and a soul which shines for others. She is fierce and fearless and completely wonderful and I adore her.

Janine – Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyholic – another hope-holder, incredible supporter, who always, but ALWAYS has something positive to say, and is usually first here to say it. I’ve developed a theory that she’s Santa Claus’s kid, because she’s able to travel the internet impossibly fast and make first comment on so, SO many people’s posts. She also shares so freely and so beautifully about her family and her life and her happinesses, that it makes me happy to know her.

Melissa – Home on Deranged – who is a quiet, small voice here, but away from the public arena, a HUGE amount of fun to know, as well as a person who has precious insights to share with me, which she does cheerfully and with great humour, tenderness and understanding. She plays a mean game of Scrabble and is one of those people who I know absolutely always has my back.

Shanique – BZNaturalista – who has been off in Police Boot-Camp, but who rapidly made the transition from ‘fellow blogger’ to friend, and whom I miss very much (she hasn’t a great deal of time online these days). She is one of the first people I was able to come out of my shell with. She has a wonderful and hugely beautiful perspective on life, and she is generous to a fault – she will tell me off for being up too late, or she will sing to me when I’m sad, or even tell me a bedtime story over live chat. I think she’s absolutely AwesomeRockin’.

Clark – The Wakefield Doctrine – founder, instigator and genius behind the Wakefield Doctrine, this guy intrigued me from the get-go, and then when I discovered that he KNEW – he UNDERSTOOD MY BRAIN – I had to keep going back to find out more, and more, and eventually (with enough pushing on my part) he accepted me as part of his group of outsiders, and I consider him a dear friend and guru.

Denise – Girlie On The Edge – whom I found through the Wakefield Doctrine, and who can write and talk in such beautiful circles which (to me) make absolute sense. She’s a quiet one, and apt to sit and watch and take everything in before coming out with something pertinent or hilarious. Still waters run deep with this one, and she amazes me for being able to do everything from arguing to learning to be her own car mechanic to pondering the mysteries of the universe with such dignity and glamour.

Cyndi – Pictimilitude – to whom I couldn’t return her own award, but who DEFINITELY gets this one. We are in the same boat in so many ways, and I take such enjoyment in the beauty of her words and the world she shares through her photographs and art, and such solace in the togetherness we share in our lack of babies and our heartache and our grief. But through the wonder of the internet, we can be there for one another, and I truly cherish her.

Zoe – Rewritten – my dear, dear fellow Bard, who writes so beautifully and who just KNOWS so much. And is so much, and so encouraging and hilarious and wonderful, and caring, even from a (geographical) distance. She sent me a genuine Winter Survival Pack, and she can say ‘Schnookered’ in a way I will never, ever get tired of hearing.

Michelle – Getting Literal – who is simply inspiring and positive and incredible to chat to and always full of good, sensible advice and who has been just such a HUGE support and encouragement to me. She’s also incredibly good fun to video-chat with, and sharing this experience with her is often a high spot of my weekend.

Marcia – Menopausal Mom – who I was awed by from the start because of her incredible humour, but who is a truly sweet and caring lady, with much to say in conversation and a huge amount of appealability (dodgy Lime Jello Salad recipes notwithstanding) and who I am so enjoying getting to know.

Kristen – Mrs Always Random (But Usually Shallow) – who is a source of encouragement, support, prayer and that life-changing recipe for Caramel Salted Pretzel Bark. I owe much to this wonderful lady, and consider her friendship a boon.

Rich – That’s Life Sometimes – who is (supposedly) hiding from the blogging world right now, because he works a million hours a week and somehow still finds time to write the occasional absolute mind-blow of a post. He is the Big Daddy of blogging, and he is hilarious, poignant, relatable and outrageous in equal measure. He is also a genuine and caring chap, and I have had many causes to appreciate and value his insight and input.

Sandy – Mother of Imperfection – who found ME, and set up camp and won me over with her incredible enthusiasm, encouragement and sheer joy of being. She’s another person who has the ability to write me a comment which makes me go all soppy at the edges. She’s also hilarious and sweet and completely awesome.

Piper – Talk About Cheesecake – who, is so much fun to know, to go off into flights of storytelling with, to chat with on Twitter in between patients at work, and just to have a laugh with. She’s frank, funny, sweet and a true gem.

Jenergy – Hysterical Casserole – who makes me laugh like a DRAIN, keeps me in her cupboard as her #BadCopyEditor, and who is just full of wonder and delight and all things awesome. She is like a shiny, glittery, noisy-toy-you-can’t-turn-off, and I am SO pleased to know her.

Kate – Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine (with my morning quiet time) – who writes one of the first blogs I ever read, and is the stalwart co-host of one of the first blog hops I ever joined, and who is funny, funny, funny, but also a person with many depths and layers of wonderful, which shine through at different times. She’s also writing a book about adoption, which is a topic dear to my heart, and which I can’t wait to read because I know that her insights will be so valuable to my understanding.

To each of these, I say thank you so, so much for being part of my online world, and for your friendship, even across wires and distances, because it’s the YOU in it, which makes it so wonderful.

If you need a refresher for why my ‘usual suspects’ all get this award too, read all about it over here:

50 thoughts on “The Hardwired Heart Award

  1. Pingback: Riconoscimenti dolci | Considerings

  2. Aha! So I'm not a tool. PHEW! 🙂 Well maybe I am because I didn't bother to click on the link and check to see if it was me or someone else. Never mind. Tool is the correct name.


  3. Owp! Looking up there – t'was another Julie! I seem to have no luck with people of the name, cos I don't recall her taking it up either! Glad you picked up on Sandy's though, m'dear 🙂 I shall return and edit blog names into this.


  4. So, I'm a tool – clearly. I went to Sandy's blog today and saw that I got an award from her and clicked on the badge and ended up here, which much to my surprise led me to see that you nominated me as well?! And I'm so humbly grateful and sorry that I paid no mind three months ago (And yes, if you want me to pay attention, tag the crap outta me on twitter okay)?! Thank you Lizzi!!!!!


  5. Awww no problem. Like I say – you're one of the first blogs I ever read consistently and got into 🙂 That definitely counts for something. And FTSF too. And your book. And you 🙂

    Pass it on whenever fits. And don't worry about ticking people off. I got a TON of flak off this for a particular (no names mentioned, right, MJM?) list happening to exclude others who will be included at a later date 😉

    They'll survive.


  6. You are so sweet. Thank you for blessing me this way, I really appreciate it. I might do my post the week of Christmas or between Christmas and the New Year. I've got to find my blog calendar. And I think I might share some of my favorite “must-read” blogsl Although, then I risk ticking some people off. Crap.


  7. Ahhh the joys of cyclical behaviour. Very cool that you guys are a sponsor couple though. I guess that gives to you as much as it takes from you (assuming there's a level of support/training for you and COW as the sponsors…).

    It's a work in progress, and it's hugely gratifying to see it beginning to work *beams*

    And yeah. Duh! *facepalm* I forgot. Got well and truly Wakefielded there, huh!


  8. When we became a sponsor couple for an engaged couple, we spent quite a bit of time discussing “family of origin”. We repeat what we've learned growing up unless we make a conscious decision not to, and then work to make the change. Hun, you made the decision and you made the change. It is no easy task. COW and I had to do the same thing, so we know how difficult it is.
    As for the essay, isn't that what scotts do? Draw people out and make them talk about things? 🙂


  9. No! Don't you DARE! I will fight you too, if I have to!

    *hackles raise*

    She didn't TAKE anything. She just was quicker :p

    I try 🙂 I'm having fun glowing it up and throwing virtual glitterbombs (you know how much I love a good glitterbomb)


  10. I think it really works to fill a gap, yaknow? The blogging stuff can only be taken so far before the people become real and then…it's no longer enough to be handing out things like this just for writing 🙂

    There really are – I'm so blessed to know such awesome people.

    I feel this is the first list of many…


  11. *dances* SCHOOKERLOO! Love it 😀

    Glad you're out of the cocoon, and hope you start feeling better again soon m'dear. Rest slow and heal quick, 'kay? I'm glad you like this one as well as the Golden Sideboob 🙂 And your words were just perfick 🙂 *HUGS*



    Now listen. When I say (like I did in the post) that this is my FIRST list, and that there will be OTHERS…do you not reckon that just perhaps I might have a trick or two up my sleeve and a place for you on one of those? Because I do, and now you've made me blow the gaffe completely by sulking!

    Which is why Jen should like ME best 😛 I don't sulk 😉


  13. I am with BETH!!! Christine should be FINED!!!! She took all our beautiful and endearing sentiments and there should definitely be a penalty!!!!

    See? THIS stuff here- you keep shining…it everywhere. See? I bet your simply oozing with radiance right now. I can feel it all the way over here….. 🙂


  14. This morning I emerged from my medical cocoon where I have been cloistered for the past few days. I was making some incoherent comments in blogworld on Monday a.m. By now I hope to be more articulate….don't count on it. I decided before I leave all these lovely pieces of equipment and professionals behind to check the email as I feel utterly disconnected. I tell you all of this because often when I leave the hospital I am feeling pretty beaten up both physically and emotionally…you made a difference for me this morning (and always). I was honored by the golden side boob and again by this new lovely gift. Im afraid I am still cloudy and stumbling over words but please know I am honored and relying upon everything all of those people before me said so much more eloquently…xo L/Z and of course….skips


  15. As a fellow clark, you know I struggle at times with the expression of emotion.(“no..really?!!!) I have experienced much of late, all of which has not been shared. But the one thing I will share is my total thanks that I have met you. You and I don't know each other yet as well as other “online friends” but here's the thing – I know you to be a clark and as such I know that once the offer of friendship has been extended it has life. And though it may be slow to grow, the seeds are well grounded. clarks are always there. always. Thank you my friend.


  16. Awwwh Lisa, thank you so much 🙂 That means a lot to me, genuinely, and thank you for saying so. I'm so glad you found me and the TToT, too 🙂

    I think it is like pen-pals, but more immediate and with more flexibility for true relationship to be built through the immediacy of it, rather than the weeks of waiting for the next installment of friendship through snail-mail. But yes, I reckon that people who have pen-pals experience this kind of thing.

    And sorry to disappoint you – I've always been a TERRIBLE pen-pal! Even when it was my IRL BFF who was the person I was writing to! Shameful really, but there you have it! I'm MUCH better when I can get an immediate (or nearly immediate) response.


  17. DOWN Beth! *edges into the way* No fist-shaking necessary here…

    I forget whether TToTLand has Christine as my 'muscle' or me as hers, but I'll let you know for free that if there's to be any fight-starting here, I WILL finish it *flexes biceps, ostentatiously crosses arms and levels a stare*

    Share nicely, 'kay?

    And the glowing – you know, I think I might, but it's only because I have such wonderful, amazing friends who make me so, so happy. I really needed to invent this award because there were too many people who I couldn't edge into any of the others, or who I just wanted to recognise in a 'more than blogging' sense. Because they count. They matter.

    You matter.

    And I'm still so grateful for whatever it was which made me stumble across your blog…because I felt like I'd hit the jackpot then, and I love that your analogy is so apt for both of us 🙂


  18. I try. I try very hard (and with genuine feeling) because for much (if not most) of my life, due to example and experience, the thing I've been best at is tearing other people down and trashing them and making myself look good by ripping them to shreds, which I'm quite aware is repellant, vile behaviour, but it's what I learned, it's what got engrained, and it's what I still frequently fight against.

    There came a point where I wanted to be 'one of those nice people', and I realised that the only way I could do this was with effort and with behaving nicely to people, and with learning to feel (and express) things which were rather alien to me, like love…care…respect…kindness. And that if I engaged with those things and worked hard, perhaps one day I'd be able to build genuine, warm, reciprocal friendships/relationships and would finally be able to consider myself a part of the category of 'Nice People'.

    Fast-forward a decade or so, and a LOT of hard work (and no few relapses along the way) and I feel as though I'm making headway. I've changed a lot.

    But it's so amazingly wonderful to think that one of the things I might've developed is a gift of encouragement, where before there was only the gift of destroying. Thank you for that.

    And believe me, again (as ever?) I feel in each case as though I am MASSIVELY the beneficiary, and the person whose life has been enriched through the friendship.

    Also, ESSAY! Wow! How did you…? Now look what happened there. You make me want to make sense to you…sorry it was long and wordy!


  19. Ewww! I get the imagery there, but that's redneck GRIM *bleahh*! I'm…Ack! I'm glad you did it and now can't get that thought out of my head. So just know that you made me smile HUGE and also look completely grossed out all at once – it's like my face is having a fight with itself to express both things…

    But I'm glad you smiled and that it made you happy. That's completely awesome. And yes – the internet is INCREDIBLE for doing this kind of thing – for putting people together and into one another's lives, in spite of the distance or any other traditional limitation. Love it. And glad you love it and love the award 😀 😀 *hugs*


  20. Oh good! Cos I do love our little chats and FB exchanges, and I know this is all a bit full-on, but I do think of you as one of the people who's more 'friend' than 'other blogger person out there'. 🙂 Anyway, I'm glad you like it 🙂


  21. Lizzi, you are like the nicest person on the planet, aren't you? You have a marvelous soul. I am so glad to have found your blog and your TToT hop.

    The blog friend thing…it's kind of like pen pals, don't you think? You can write for years, never having met in person and still know and love so much about one another. Same thing. Somehow I think you were probably a great pen pal. 🙂


  22. Christine stole everything I was going to say. Is there a comment fine for that? How did she do that? Witchy Woman! Except I like her….a whole lot. So I won't be mad at her. We can share the words. THIS TIME. *shakes fist*

    What an absolutely brilliant award you've invented! I love it!

    You must glow. I don't think I've ever known anyone who oozes joy like you, or has the ability to lift others up like you. You genuinely inspire me on so many levels. I won the lottery when we met in the blog world. I really did. THANK YOU.


  23. You are one amazing woman. I don't think I've ever met anyone who is as good at encouraging others as you are. We are better people because we are your friends. I'm not surprised at all that you would come up with such a thoughtful award. Nice work.


  24. Representing the fine and honorable State of Ychromistan, I will say, “harumph! why thank you” and (as is characteristic of my people) I will give you a solid (virtual) punch on the upper arm.
    “thank you for the kind thoughts”.

    You know I agree with your thoughts on the virtual world and the new kind of relationships that are possible there. There simply is no parallel or comparable environment in the physical world. I consider myself fortunate to know you and the others on your list, my life is better for it.

    thank you


  25. Dude, I ALMOST cried! But I knew you wouldn't want me to so I just kept smiling ear to ear and read probably what has to be one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me. I was actually thinking of you today and thought how amazing and fantastic it is that this lovely thing we call the internet has the power to bring people into our lives that can touch us to our soul. I have met some of the best people, literally in the world here. I am glad that I found you and “set up camp”, or what we redneck 'Mericans call “dug in like a tick”!
    I think we're all very, very lucky to have found each other and call each other friends.
    I will display my award proudly and I thank you, Lizzi….from the bottom of my heart!


  26. Oh Lizzi, this was such a nice surprise to find tonight! And so incredibly sweet of you to include me. I feel truly blessed to have met you through our writers groups–you have such a beautiful heart and you always know how to make people feel good. You are awesome, lady, and I proudly accept this lovely award from you. Thank you so much! ❤


  27. Yes – I just felt so horrible at having to pick and choose so very carefully, and only highlight so few, when so many mean so much to me.

    So HA! A solution (take notes on THAT ONE!) and it's beautiful and I love it and I love how many people I can include on my (first) list of worthy recipients.

    Hang in there, my friend – your studies will end soon (big picture) and you can immerse yourself in the worlds of writing and beauty and art once more 😀


  28. I like this one, too. 😀 You're incredibly thoughtful and so considerate. I know, too, that it kind of sucks not highlighting everyone you want to. So now Ima gonna write a post for this and highlight all the wonderful (okay…I'll START) bloggers out there. I continually love this world of blogging, forging friendships and wishing I could squeeze more hours in the day just so I can visit everyone's blogs that I want to read every single day. It could number in the hundreds…but yeah.
    When I finish my master's degree, I just think it's so cool to hope that I could be home full time writing again…I really want to photograph more, get into photo projects and more art projects. Ahh…Have a wonderful, sweet day. xoxo


  29. Awww don't cry! That's FOUR TIMES NOW TODAY! I don't 'do' soppy, and yet you say such wonderful things and I just…

    Ack 😀 You're awesome and so lovely and once again I haven't the words, Dana.



  30. You made me cry, Lizzi. In a good way. You have so much love in your heart, but what makes you truly special is how you share that love with each person who is blessed to receive it. I just copied and pasted your lovely words about me, so that I can look at them whenever I need a Lizzi hug. Thank you, my friend – you have a piece of my heart too. ❤


  31. YAY! Santy Kid does it again! Honestly, you're incredible at this and I'm still amazed at you every.single.time.

    I'm so glad you like it so much, and that you got it right at the very end of your day, as a happy thing. And also HUGELY pleased you mentioned the Golden Sideboob Award (because I didn't want to lower the tone of my post, but I am SO proud also of that one – it was such a lot of fun).

    I love being online friends with you and am so, so pleased to know you 😀 *HUGS*


  32. Seriously, Lizzi you just made my night and I was just about to close down my computer for a few minutes since I have been on for about 2 hours catching up and along comes a tweet from you. Seriously, you have totally become one of the most wonderful friends I could have ever asked for on here and cannot thank you enough for that and so much more!! Besides the Golden Sideboobs, this is up there as my favorite award. Thank you a ton again 🙂


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