Okay, so I’m a tart…

Tonight for the first time I realised that I understood (on a very personal level) the phrase ‘comment box whore’.

Because I am one.
And it feels slightly *naughty* to admit it, but there you have it in plain print. Unavoidable. Un-take-back-able. And really, really straightforward.
Something about those short, encouraging, validating messages which arrive under most of my posts, has me absolutely hooked.
Last August when the blog was beginning, I remember my heart beating faster as I checked my page-view statistics. I remember being *so* excited when they reached double figures. I used to get possibly one comment every few posts, and each one was like a newly discovered gem – something I’d mined for with words and dug for with truths and ramblings. I’ve clearly been networking, because now when I see a comment count of fewer than ten (of which I know at least half are mine, because I try my best to reply to everyone. And visit their blogs, too) then I feel disappointed, as though my efforts had been in vain.
Very slowly and imperceptibly, my perspective has changed. I would now find a post with no comments rather upsetting. And page views in the 10-20 range would be downright hurtful. Perhaps my perspective has changed on account of the ever-increasing distance between my eyes, on account of how swollen my head’s become.
Seriously. Tonight after receiving so many wonderful comments on my very over-the-top-excited post about being offered the job I wanted (I’m still excited now – you can’t stop me nor bring me down just yet), many of which said lovely things like how pleased the commenter was for me, how much they felt I deserved the good news, how excited they were for me, I told Husby how well it was going and that he should take a large pin and pop my swollen head if I got stuck in any doorways.
Later, he mimed just that when I forewent a third episode of Big Bang Theory with him in lieu of checking back on my blog to see if there were more affirming comments. There were, and I pointed out the list of notifications in my inbox. “See” I told him “people love me!”
He gave me an incredulous stare and mimed pulling out a pin, ‘popping’ it in the very middle of my forehead.
But it’s deeper than mere popularity, than validation, even.
The comments which count the most are from the people I’ve begun to build bloggy relationships with. We comment on one another’s posts, we’ve read each other’s’ archives, we’ve been there, in the comment box, offering support, encouragement, commiseration, celebration, and yes – friendship.
Friendship of a singular type, to be sure, but this is a brave new world, and the lines are ever blurrier. These friends; the ones who I would perhaps dare to call ‘regulars’, matter. Some of them quite deeply. I respect their honesty, I value their opinions, I love being able to catch a glimpse of their lives and show them a smidgen of my own. 
I adore that we can pour our thoughts and feelings out through our fingertips into this magical world called ‘The Blogosphere’ and touch someone’s heart. It’s cockle-warming, affirming, and my own heart swells to near bursting when I see that one of these friends has left me a meaningful comment on a post I’ve really…well…considered.
So I shall pick up my new label and wear it with bemused pride.
“My name’s Lizzi, and I’m a comment box-a-holic.”


74 thoughts on “Okay, so I’m a tart…

  1. *sings* I hate those blurred lines (you know you want it)

    You're right though – it's all a bit of a brave new world, and I love the adaptability with which (certainly those here) people come to it.

    My followers have hit a plateau. I appreciated Clark's quote, but it really seemed to do nothing!

    That said, I know nothing about how to tally blogger followers, G+ followers, Bloglovin followers or how many crossovers there are. It's all too confusing!!

    Interesting that you like receiving (as well as giving) back comments – I've rarely done that because I figure that the time has passed and the post is no longer relevant to the writer, but perhaps I should be more flexible and open-minded on this. I certainly like receiving back-comments from you 🙂


  2. Oh lord 72 comments… I'm glad you are already sitting at the computer or have your phone handy, or you may not make it down the hall!

    It's odd, I just talked about this some with a friend last week, and had hoped to post a similar topic of sorts. I recall when I first started out and it was just writing friends (those I met last Nov) leaving comments. Barely even then… I think my views were like… single digits? Maybe some crested above 10? As of now I'm uncertain how they stand.

    My post was questioning some about how exactly Google Analytic works, because there are all sots of seemingly different numbers for the same thing.

    I, however, don't get so down by it (except with my fiction blog, which I'd like critique/opinions on). I don't mind when people post way down the road from when the blog entry was made even, in fact I really enjoy that. I have found I get bummed when I see people don't bother to do the same, though. Considering I am always behind, that may be why >.< I'm glad your followers (I noted Clark quoting your comment about picking up a few more followers) have increased over the months. I'd imagine the hops help a lot (or has with me). My count has remained stationary for… 2 months now? I've never really looked into how to gain more followers. I follow way way too many, more then I can keep up with (apparently) and I'm sure half of them don't “follow” back/read lol I like how open more people are about lines being blurred as to what may actually constitute friendship in this day of age 🙂 Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink


  3. Why thank you 😉

    I slightly feel as though I put a great big trail of chocolate drops all the way to the comm box on this one – I don't usually get half this many (or half of half this many, seeing as half here are my replies, but you know what I mean).

    I have lots of lurkers too, it's just so lovely that some have come outta lurking to give me a li'l comment sugar on this post 🙂


  4. *goes to get it coined and minted* That said, I dunno, it could be the kind of phrase that feels a bit awkward, I mean, is it something you just *know* (i.e. “Oh look, turns out I'm in this awesome bloggyship with so-and-so”) or would you actually have to go up to someone and be all “Hey, you wanna be in a bloggyship with me?”. This new term needs some defining.

    😀 You know that Big Ben is the BELL, right? And the clock's just…well…no-one in England actually knows what it's called cos we're so used to calling it by the name of the bell, the actual name has receded into history*

    I am pretty 100,000,000% certain it was unintentional. Husby was not appreciating having his game interrupted to come and assist his hysterical wife. Nor did he appreciate my snarky comments about the bottle neck being too small. No-one was copping any feels.

    In the end, I had to jam my fingers in the way just as the li'l bug was making a break for my cleavage and it ended up ON me, so I flicked it into the bottle and he got rid of it from there. Yuk.

    And as I've said (oooh, about 30 or so comments down) – I've been stuck in this room the past few days, unable to leave even for the toilet. My head's grown so big that it's resting on the floor and I'm pretty uncomfortable because all the pins in the world weren't enough for me to stop from feeling pretty smug about the response to this…

    *I am, of course, lying through my teeth.


  5. Oh my gosh! 67 comments here? You totally win the internet. I love comments, but have more lurkers most of the time on my site. I totally love the comments I get though. You aren't the only whore. And I mean that in the best possible way. 🙂


  6. OK, that story about the beetle is fantastic. One, clock beetle? All I can think of, you being in England and all, is European vacation, “Look kids! Big Ben!”
    Two, are you sure it was an accident that it went down your top?
    Use a cup to catch it? In your shirt? Or did you shake it out and catch it on the ground? Oh, it all makes me giggle.

    “Bloggyship” is a great word. Consider it coined. By Considerer. 🙂

    Look at you getting so many comments!! Hopefully there aren't too many pinholes in your forehead.


  7. True dat. On blogs I regularly read and comment on, I'll sometimes check back and reply to replies. Which is fun. But it doesn't happen all that often, sadly. Still, each comment, each exchange is a small bridge built.

    Can you link the Tom Petty review? (or I can just try and find it…hope it's transferred to elleroy) I've never had a negative comment yet (though a few double-edged positive ones) so I guess I should be quite pleased.

    Looking back (see directly above) it took me a page and a half worth of posts (25 or so, at a rough estimate) before I got my first 'Other' comment. Hard work, this stuff!

    Course, it gets better, then it gets awesome 😀


  8. I love comments too. And it took me so long to get them (and from people who I didn't know IRL) that I cherish each one I get. Except for the one nasty one I got for my Tom Petty review. And I like leaving comments too. It's fun getting a dialogue going!


  9. Gosh yes! You know, I'd never thought of that! I need to go back and see who my first 'unknown' comment was by!


    It was by Rebecca Frech, whose blog, Shoved to Them (http://shovedtothem.blogspot.co.uk) I still follow and enjoy 🙂

    Which is cool, because I was reading her blog long before I started mine, and she kinda inspired me, so I'm really pleased that it was her who was my first 'unknown in RL' comment

    Thank you Andrea, you've given me a nice little trip down memory lane there.


  10. Wowee! I had to scroll pretty far down to find the empty place to leave a comment…yay for you!!! 🙂 I remember the thrill of that first comment from somebody unknown in real life!


  11. Lol. I don't feel slighted when people don't read, after all, we all have different ideas and opinions, for as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, good literature (if blogs count as such) is to an extent in the mind of the reader.


  12. I feel the same way. The worst is when one of my posts doesn't get much attention, and it can drive me nuts wondering why people didn't like it. And then I re-read it, and sometimes I get mad at the general public for having no taste.


  13. Janelle, you've put it perfectly. Each comment is precious in its own right, but getting to chat with people, have banter and learning and sharing, *that's* priceless 🙂 Thanks for joining the conversation 😀


  14. Nope, been stuck in this room for the last coupla days. You'd think that having to *go* on a bucket and be brought all my food would be a humbling experience, but the comments keep coming and the head keeps swelling. At this stage it's resting on the floor while I type…it's too heavy for me to lift any more and the doctors are highly concerned that my neck might just snap #carefulwhatyouwishfor


  15. Why thank you kindly *revels just a little* Course, it's really only 23 or so, seeing as how half of these are mine, but who keeps track these days? Pfshaww!

    Thank you, and yes, you're quite right Karen – making friends is awesome.


  16. Hahaha! That's funny. My blog's pretty new, still, and every comment still feels like gold to me. Golden dollars, actually, the kind with the chocolate inside.

    The other day, though, my husband asked me what I like more, getting comments or interacting with the commenters. I answered definitely the latter. He was suprised because for him, as he confessed, he just wants to see the number grow. More, MORE! hahaha


  17. wow! look at all these comments! you must be not fitting into any doorways at all! ha! i think getting comments and seeing page views grow is totally addictive. and true also, is how disappointed i can get when an essay i feel proud of doesn't get the attention i had hoped. i guess we need a support group!


  18. Dear Comment Box Whore, I now present you with #55 🙂

    I love that you call yourself the “Considerer” – great name!

    I agree with you that one of the greatest things about blogging is making new cyber-friends.



  19. Hah I am in good company then 🙂 Comments from regulars are so precious 🙂

    Don't fancy the email barrage though! Perhaps I've just not posted anything contraversial enough yet 😉

    But yes – at least they read it. Far worse is the inappropriate 'I'm leaving you words but haven't read yours or taken them in' comment.


  20. POP! I am soooooooo a comment whore…especially if I haven't seen one from someone who is a “regular.” I totally think its a blogger thing…I had a blog entry where I ranted about Santa and got some pretty nasty personal emails…like over the top idiotic and I have to say…at least they read it! OMG I think I may have a problem.


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