Monkey Bizniz

Fo’ shizzles and gigglez (and cuz it’s da ‘ I Don’t Like Mondays’ hop, and I needed a laugh today) I done writ dis blozzle post wit da awesome assistance of Gizoogle.net, which yo asses should all check out.

Todizzle was tha birthdizzle (I won’t say how tha f**k old) of mah Explorer Friend, n’ up in celebration, she invited a jam of our asses ta accompany her ta Monkey World, up in Dorset.

I took Niece n’ Neff n’ our crazy asses had da most thugged-out fabulous dizzle (apart from, as Neff kept remindin me, tha 2 minute traffic jam on tha way there, turnin a 1 minute journey tha f**k into 2.5)

We saw f**kin shitloadz of monkeys (this one was mah favourite)

Though this one was bang-up cute.

And chimps.

And tha odd, sad-looking-but-I-understand-actually-quite-content orangutang.

And fo’ Neffz benefit n’ enjoyment (and cuz he missed his thugged-out lil’ pronunciation)

Q: Whatz white n’ dope n’ swings all up in tha trees?
A: A meringueutang

My f**kin most straight-up bangin time up in tha whole dizzle was layin fo’ half a minute up in one of tha big-ass basket swings wit Niece n’ Neff curled up on one side each, swingin gently up in tha sunshine n’ chattin bout every last muthaf**kin thang n’ not-a-damn-thang n’ all tha thangs up in between. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. Dat shiznit was a precious moment.
Like dis, yo
And cuz itz da bomb, I’s gonna share some of da most bangin’ transcripts from da rest of ma blizzle page.
Wut it done to ma comment comment

If anythang here has struck a cold-ass lil chord, tickled a gangbangin’ funkybone or otherwise resonated, feel free ta bust all dem lyrics mah way – I’ll always aim ta reply, since you’ve taken tha time ta comment.
 

Wut it done to Dwija’s blizzle name


DoggyDen Unseen. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. Life Unscripted. 


Wut it done to ma blizzle list heading

I be a gangsta yo, but y’all knew dat n’ mah Blizzay List     

Wut it done to ma profizzle


Hooked Up fo’ 3 years, found up dat we probably won’t have lil pimps naturally, have one chizzle at fertilitizzle treatment n’ so is explorin adoption. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. Grapplin wit game as cheerfully as possible (most days). Developin faith at a straight-up dope church.

 

Wut can I say, but dis is rizzle fo’ shizzle! 

Misplaced Alaskan
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35 thoughts on “Monkey Bizniz

  1. By the end of this year we'll know forsure that our chances are 0 of natural conception. Once we know that, I reckon we'll be into the adoption queue like white on rice. I just hope they accept us!

    That's so sad for your parents 😦 But great that they went on to have you and your brother…I guess somewhere, Good can come of these difficult things. And that's where we must focus.

    Like

  2. A very entertaining and fun way to write a post! The monkeys are cute and it sounds like you had a great time with the kiddos! I say go for adoption; my parents found out they couldn't have kids after my mom had a full term stillborn baby girl. So, a couple of years later, they adopted me. And then my brother. You'd never be able to tell we were adopted. 😀

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  3. I'm not even going to attempt to adapt my language to what you presented here! lol Ain't nuthin' but an “Old” Thang, I guess! OMG, seeing all those pictures reminded me of my wife's family reunions!!! And I was having a really good evening, too! 🙂 Great Job!

    Like

  4. We went to the zoo today and my favorite part was the primate house. The gorillas were so much fun to watch – they were actually flirting! I took a bunch of photos too. The monkeys are all so expressive. I love these photos!

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  5. (really struggling with this reply – having severe technical issues. Here goes for #3)

    I read your post a while ago and it cracked me up 🙂

    You can reassure your daughter that the place was really hot on conservation and treated their animals very well. They also had petitions around to combat the idea that it's ok to keep monkeys as pets, which was good (…course, I couldn't find one to sign)

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  6. Oh gosh. This is funnier than funky n' tha thang is dat I KNOW most of dat shit. Even though I've never heard mah playas drop a rhyme like dis y'all. Do playas straight-up rap like dat anywhere?
    I be glad dat you had a pimped up time n' dat tha kiddos enjoyed it like a mutha-f-a.

    Kool as f**k belated birthdizzle ta yo' Explorer Hommie yo yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin' yo yo. Hope dat freaky freaky biatch had a gangbangin' funky-ass earth dat

    Like

  7. Your comment's fine – mine…maybe. I replied to Elizabeth (two above) at the same time as I replied to Dana (above) and when I came to see this, my reply to Elizabeth was gone, and the one to Dana remained.

    Tres frustrating.

    Like

  8. It's the side of me that changes Facebook into Pirate Talk Mode and then can't figure out which Jolly Rogering phrase means 'turn it back to English now, please!'

    It's a great joke. Sadly Neff didn't get it because he hadn't realised he'd been mispronouncing in the first place. I had to explain it then, and it lost all its funny.

    Like

  9. This is hilarious! My daughter also loved the monkeys, but was very concerned that the one behind the fence was “trapped.” She may be my budding activist! The Fo Shizzle edit cracked me up. It reminds me of the night we taught my daughter to speak a little urban slang! Here's that link if you want to check it out (http://rocksnosaltmommy.com/2013/06/18/fo-shizzle-welcome-to-our-hizzle/). I wish I'd known about this editor you used when I wrote that post! That would have been even better!!

    Like

  10. Ok, those Monkey sure did put a smile on my face, as well as my younger daughter's, who could not stop talking about the monkeys and kept wanting me to move the cursor to see more. Seriously, thanks for the almost Monday smile over here!! 🙂

    Like

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