TToT #3 (An interview with my Sub-Conscious)

Welcome to day two of the third Ten Things of Thankful blog hop. Please fetch yourself a drink and a nibble and take a seat, ready to begin

Our guest speaker has travelled a long way (figuratively speaking) to get to us today  and I’d like you to put your hands together and welcome my Sub-Conscious

SC: Er, thanks. Why’m I here again?

Well, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity for you to answer some questions which have been bugging me and a few other people (notably anyone I tell about you)

SC: Ah.

So you’re responsible for my dreams, right?

SC: Yesss, although it can be argued that all I do is piece together the elements of your conscious experience and try to organise them in a more processable way – you could say I’m the equivalent of a defrag for your brain. I take the snippets of life you’ve not paid much attention to (or, conversely the things you can’t get out of your thoughts) and let you work through them in your dreams.

Sounds a little as though you’re trying to shirk some responsibility here, Sub Conscious…let’s look at some of the crap you’ve put me through, shall we? 

SC: Oh no

Oh yes! Let’s begin with the flamingoes, shall we? Or the wolf which chased me through a castle unlocking the doors I locked to bar its way? Or the shoebox full of cheerleading tropical fish? Or the hut on the heath filled with endless stairs? Which will it be?

SC: You know, you have a part in this too – somewhere along the way, you encountered these things and didn’t process them properly. You took them in somewhere along the periphery and never came back to organise them – rather like the way you’ve left your unpacking – all over the place and shoved around the sides of rooms, tucked in cupboards so you don’t have to deal with it.

Okay, ouch! That’s a little harsh! Time to bring on the big gun – what about that nested dream where I was choking and each time I ‘woke up’ I started choking again and more and more people were trying to rescue me and every time it wasn’t real but another layer of dream? I can be harsh too – what was *with* that?

 SC: *sigh* You were going through a difficult phase of life and were feeling particularly stressed. You weren’t doing any good at reaching out to people to help you and you were feeling suffocated by your situation. Is this *really* what you wanted? To get me here and ask me the most simplistic of questions? I’m an enigma; a mystery; a puzzle which has had you humans drawing blanks ever since you first became aware of me, and you’re asking me things which a ten year old could probably provide you the answers to?

Fine. Why are you an enigma?

SC: At last – something I can get my teeth into. I’m an enigma because there’s really very little evidence of how I work or where I live. Not to mention the sheer amount of theorising which surrounds why I work the way I do. I tend to work with your unconscious mind – the place where everything you’ve forgotten is kept. While I’m mainly in charge of your more recent memories and helping you to filter through all the input you’ve received as you go about your daily life, I also have a formative effect on your behaviour, your beliefs and opinions and the way you view yourself. And yes – I create (for want of a better word) your dreams, sometimes to inform or warn you of things you’ve picked up on but not realised consciously, sometimes to let you work through something which is troubling you and sometimes just to entertain you and get rid of a load of thoughts you don’t really need to hang onto. For instance, did you know that every person in your dreams has the face of someone you’ve seen in real life? You might only have seen them for a split second, but I pay attention and those are the faces I use for the characters you encounter post-sleep.

Wow! That’s quite a lot. So you’re saying that the woman with the jewellery shop and the sad woman in the office were people I’ve really encountered?

SC: Master of the understatement, you are! Yes it’s a lot! When you do your so-called ‘considerings’, you have no idea how much you draw on me and the things I’ve done for you. Yet there you sit, taking all the credit. I process *everything* for you and cut it down into manageable pieces so that you can fit it into your worldview. And yes, you’d seen those women before, only don’t ask me where – that information is tucked away in the unconscious mind in a box marked ‘irrelevant’.

My worldview? You’re beginning to sound like Clark

SC: Yep, but you know what’s better? I made that connection even as I said it, then managed to give you a sufficient nudge that you picked up on it. The more analytical you are, the more critical you are of your life, the things going on around you and your own thoughts, the closer we will become and the better able to communicate.

Talking of communication, shall we get onto these Ten Things of Thankful? After all, that’s what these lovely ladies and gentlemen have really come here to see and join in with. How do you affect them?

SC: Sure, now you’re being polite, we can move on. Your Ten Things are hugely influenced by me but I really think the easiest way to go about this is if we handle them one by one – what’s your first today?

I’m very pleased that I found lots of shops selling lovely, perfect things for a bag of ‘cheering-up’ prezzies for my best friend, who’s poorly at the moment.

SC: Easy. You’ve spent a lot of time and investment in becoming emotionally close to your bezzie, and as a result, when she hurts, your empathy drive kicks in and you feel sad and want to help fix it. You’re pleased about the shops because the held things which enabled you to accomplish an action (or set of actions) you’d identified as ones which would help you move towards this ‘fixing’ goal. Next, please.

Secondly, I’m still very thankful that I have fresh water (and that I was able to share about the toilet twinning – people seemed to like that)

SC: This is a more interesting one. Did you know that you feel quite guilty about having access to fresh water while others go without and suffer horribly for it? You know for a fact that it’s not your fault that they don’t have fresh water and you know for a fact that it’s an accident of birth that you grew up in an affluent, western society where clean drinking water is commonplace, so what do you think about that, Considerer?

Is this to do with my empathy drive again?

SC: Not as much as you’d hope. While that is a factor, I’ll admit, it has far more to do with greed. You know that there are charities out there working tirelessly to bring clean water to places which don’t have it and you don’t contribute to any of them – you look at their adverts, their stories, their ‘donate’ buttons online, and think “That’s nice” then go off and – let’s see – what did you buy for yourself today? A new book. When you have bookshelves full. Your recent posts demonstrate that much. Surely for one so enlightened by written knowledge; one who can rhapsodise on the wonder and pleasure of books, is intelligent enough to know that the money you spent on yet another book could have gone towards saving someone’s life through helping out one of the charities which does that kind of thing.

This is meant to be to do with gratitude, not guilt!

SC: What can I say – yours in this instance are wrapped up together. Shall we move on to number three?

Yes please! I’m very thankful that I didn’t have to cook tonight, and my mother-in-law not only shopped for, but cooked a wonderful roast dinner for us all

SC: This is much more positive, you’ll be pleased to hear. Your thankfulness here is mostly to do with the bonding which this demonstrates, as well as a small part about you not having to worry about sourcing and making the dinner yourself (thereby taking responsibility for demonstrating the state of the relationships). Your mother-in-law is generous and kind, and you’re thankful for this because many people struggle with their mothers-in-law, to the point where she (as a role) has become something of a stereotype. Yours does not conform to this stereotype, so your latent expectations to the negative have been delightfully disproven. This is supporting evidence. Additionally, you recognise that she feels comfortable enough in your home to go through your cupboards for pots and pans, to cook in your kitchen and generally treat your flat as home-from-home. This is a great relief because it means that there needs be no awkwardness in the time she is staying with you. And the fact that she did it at all shows that she has accepted you as part of the family and considers you kin. 

Wow! I didn’t realise so much thought had gone into that Thing of Thankful! Fourth on the list for today is the chance to meet with friends later and play geeky, fun tabletop games together.

SC: “Geeky, fun tabletop games” give me a break! Just say that you play Dungeons & Dragons with them! For crying out loud. You’ll never be happy or at peace until you can admit to the things that you do without being so judgemental of yourself. It’s because you’re a bit of a snob and on my level, you’re rather divided – you think that D&D is the province of the outcasts, the socially inept; the losers, and because of your experiences through school, being put back in ‘that place’ terrifies you. You’re an adult now. These people are your good friends, you have fun with them and you enjoy spending time with them. No, the ‘cool kids in school’ probably would think you were all a bit weird, but WHY DOES IT MATTER? We’ve had 15 years of this crap, you and I. When are you going to let it go? Build a bridge and get over it!

Snarky bloody Sub-Conscious, aren’t we

SC: Look who I belong to…

Oh piss off! You’re making me grumpy, not grateful! I’m about ready to finish at four things at the moment

SC: It’s up to you how you respond – you’re in control of your own actions and behaviour, but you won’t do it because you’ll be too embarrassed about losing control and showing yourself up, not to mention letting everyone down by stopping far short of Ten Things…you’re the HOST for crying out loud.

For pity’s sake! Could you just stop already? Number five, quickly please – I’m thankful for this opportunity to interview a subject so fascinating and intriguing as yourself.

SC: Nice try, but you can’t get round me with flattery – I was the one who came up with that. *I* second-guess *you* – not the other way around. But you’re welcome. I’m glad to be here.

Okay, a real one this time for number six. I’m very thankful that my Mum and WonderAunty are having us all round to tea tonight

SC: Another social one – you’re full of these today. You’re glad that your Mum and WonderAunty get on so well with your in-laws, and it brings a warm glow to the cockles of your heart. You’re also glad you don’t have to worry about providing another meal yourself (again, concerns that your offerings won’t be adequate and will damage the relationship between you and your in-laws). There’s a separate element of excitement because, let’s face it, you’re known for liking your food, and one of your Mum’s buffet meals is a thing you’ve always relished the partaking of .

That all sounds good. Number seven now – I’m still loving the support and encouragement I’m receiving from the ladies in the infertility group with regard to getting healthier and fitter – we shared little ‘high-fives’ today as we all compared our efforts

SC: You better believe you love that! You know why? Because you’re really good at doing some exercise and offsetting it with food, but it *sounds* as though you’re doing great. And with the buffet coming up tomorrow evening (a situation where you always over-eat) and the fact that you’re sat there chomping your way through a slice of unnecessary cake right now, you like that by posting that Thing of Thankful it looks like you’re doing better than you are. You won’t shift the flab that way, my girl!

There was me thinking you were starting to be nice. 

SC: It’s not my job to be nice – it’s my job to be real, and you really could do better at losing weight if only you’d sort out your relationship with food.


I just gave the second slice of unnecessary cake to Husby

SC: Then you’re doing him no favours either! I know you got the cake for Neff, and it was a sweet idea, but you’re all affluent, well-fed westerners – none of you needs cake as a treat! I’m going to prompt you to learn other ways of showing people you care rather than feeding them. I know it taps into their deepest instincts and makes them like you because you’re providing them with substances which fire off the dopamine in their brains, but let’s get the oxytocin going instead, ey? It’s a far better chemical to go for – more bonding – more secure in relationship terms, and just as lovely to receive.

Talking with you is an education! I’ll try to listen. Shall we get on to number eight? You’ve talked a lot…


Right. Um, number eight. I’m thankful that the blog hop’s going well in its third week – the people who’ve shown up repeatedly seem to be forming some sort of core of ‘thankful people’ who are all eager to participate for what seems like some quite deep reasons – they recognise the usefulness in trying to find the good things in life – they appreciate the challenge and they seem to want to continue joining in for a good while yet

SC: *yawn* You had a good idea and their being here validates it for you. Validates you.

No, I resent that! It truly is more than that. It’s a good idea, I’ll grant you, and I’m pleased people have recognised that, but it’s not *my* idea – all I’ve done is taken it and made it bigger and more join-in-able because it’s something I’ve found useful in my own life.

SC: Okay, that too, but it does make you feel good that you’ve started something people like. It’s that ‘outsider’ in you – never quite sure how you fit in, or why you don’t, but always wanting it and (when it happens) never quite trusting it.

Moving on to number nine. I’m thankful that the kind folks on the Reece’s Rainbow Facebook page were able to confirm that my lovely Violetta and Gretchen have both had an enquiry each (though this was tinged with sadness when one person said they’d been to Violetta’s orphanage and not seen her there – this suggests she’s now been institutionalised and it’s too late for her, but this isn’t confirmed yet)

SC: This is a bit of a sad one, really. You’re still hurting about not being able to adopt either of them (especially Violetta, who, let’s face it, you prefer (even though you know you’re not meant to pick favourites among children – she’s just the one who spoke most to your heart with that smile)) and you desperately want someone to see them and bring them home. The fact that you’ve been heard a little encouragement on this front is a huge boost to your hopes. I’d also like to take this opportunity to point out that not understanding how PayPal works is an unacceptable excuse as to why, if you love them so much, you’ve not donated to their adoption funds…put your money where your mouth is, because your bank statement will most accurately reflect the desires of your heart.

The other reason you keep bringing up these beauties in your list of Things of Thankful is because you nurture the hope that one day someone will see them and realise that they’re meant to be their new Mama, thereby achieving what you cannot, and fulfiling a desire very dear to you – to see these girls in a loving family instead of left to rot in an underfunded mental institution in Eastern Europe. I don’t blame you – plug away at it.

Let’s be having your final Thing of Thankful for this week, and then you can toodle off to bed and let me take care of your dreams…

Not likely! The night is yet young and…we’ll see. The last Thing of Thankful for today is for my faith in God, who I believe has been with me and helped me through (and is helping me through) this tough journey called ‘infertility’. 

SC: Oh well done! You’ve finally plucked up the courage! This has been a bit of a struggle for you – you inherently think that people are going to be put off by the fact that you’re a faithful Christian and so you hide your light under the proverbial bushel at the same time as lamenting your lack of courage and your desire to do better. This is a good first step and you’ve done well at taking your inspiration from Kate and many others, who are utterly frank about their faith and still have LOADS of people thronging their blogs and their lives, who haven’t been rejected (which, let’s face it, is what you’re worried about) and who are clearly loved by many.  Consider this – honesty is good, and hiding something this important has been a challenge you really shouldn’t have undertaken. Be bold, be strong – the Lord your God is with you. So are the people who love you. Not everyone who knows you or comes here will like that you believe this. Some may find you ridiculous. Some may tell you as much, but as it’s a truth you believe, it’s good that you’ve gotten around to having the integrity to be transparent about it.

Thank you. And thank you for agreeing to be a part of this post. You really have been a fascinating guest to interview. Will you stay in touch? Your insights are pretty useful.

SC: I will if you will. Now let your readers go – they won’t have time to make their own Ten Things list and join in if we witter on for much longer.

Thanks for joining us, readers. I hope you found it an interesting talk. and that you’ll want to join on in by linking up your own Ten Things of Thankful below. See you soon.

Now also a part of the ‘Humour Me’ hop

38 thoughts on “TToT #3 (An interview with my Sub-Conscious)

  1. Hi Jak – thank you for all the great things you said 🙂 It was the most fun to write. Not sure why I did it backwards (you're the first to mention the italics) but I think it had something to do with the focus being on SC – like chat-shows where you don't necessarily tune in to watch the host so much as the guest.

    I love the scope the 'Ten Things' hop gives for 'doing thankfulness' however it suits. It's not at all prescriptive.

    Husby often DMs and I know he puts a lot of effort into building adventures which we (the party) can take in any of a number of directions. He's very adaptive and it's great fun. I'm interested to hear that DMing provided the inspiration for writing your books….

    The 'Humour Me' hop is another funny one, as there's no accounting for taste, but I love that each person can put their own brand of humour out there for others to (try to) enjoy.

    Thank you for stopping by – I'm sure I'll invite SC back soonish 🙂


  2. I read this at like 6am this morning with having no sleep and it pretty much blew my mind… So much so that I had to wait to comment, because it was beyond my grasp of comprehension. This was a great, epic post!

    I recall being all… Why the hell is her SC not the one talking in italics?! That factor alone was placing my mind in a headlock lol

    You had a lot to be thankful for, even if your SC felt the need to attempt trumping some of them with it's — his, as you've been noting — brand of rationalization.

    It's been years since I've played D&D. I used to be the DM/GM and I thought it was a lot of fun, albeit stressful at times. I think its a great way to workout your imagination muscle! To be honest, from the simple storyline of one of my campaigns spawned the aspiration for my triple trilogy! Playing it really can get your creative juices flowing.

    I'd only be prone to shy away from a blog/someone if they were overly preachy/pushy about their belief. Likely if it were on a constant basis. Sometimes you have something to say and are passionate about it, so it may look preachy, but hopefully your friends/family/readers/fellow bloggers can determine that. If not, what can you do really? I'd not worry about it and just be you.

    I'll avoid rambling about dreams, because I will drone on and on and on and on and on…

    The Humor Me Blog Hop intrigues me some, but I don't feel I've yet tapped into that reservoir inside of me fully.

    Great post and can't wait so see what shenanigans arise the next time you invite your “know-it-all” subconscious to participate!

    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink


  3. A very unique and fun way to present the things you are thankful for. Nicely done! 🙂 And I'm thankful that you linked up with the Humor Me! Blog Hop! 🙂


  4. Thanks. Your idea sounds like great fun! I'll have to see if I can find it on your site (or you could link me here if you check back before I get to it 😉

    Thanks for stopping by. Loving the hop 🙂


  5. What a cool idea to have SC visit you. Once I had my laptop steal my blog and write a post for me. It's really fun to write! Thank you for linking up with the Humor Me Blog Hop!


  6. Might have to – he's been so popular!

    I'm not really sure how I came up with it – I've done other posts where the 'thoughts' behind the words have been included in italics, and I've seen other blogs (like Kate @ Can I get another bottle of Whine) do 'conversation' posts.

    I was also looking for a new take on the way I presented my Ten Things of Thankful, because listing them is something I've done a lot lately and I wanted to have some fun with it.

    Seems like it worked! I now wonder whether to bring SC back or quit while I'm (we're?) ahead…


  7. Well done you. I've just been trying to fix my facebook box up there in the sidebar and have (figuratively) thrown my hands in the air, huffed and given up. For now.

    That sounds like a pretty scary book!

    (I grew up without one and had one for a short while from late teens to early 20's – I have a distinct advantage of practice of not having one, ergo not missing one)


  8. I fixed it. Had to do some html coding…but uts much better now. The book was John Saul The Right Hand of Evil..not very scary but I am a born coward.
    I have my TV but I rarely use it. Somehow I can't let go of it…


  9. I no longer watch scary movies. One was quite enough! I watched TV this evening (Miss Marple – classic Christie I can manage) but we don't have one at home, so it was a rare treat.

    The scariest books I've read are Jeffrey Deaver's, and they're not *too* bad. I think if I ever read a really scary book I'd have to take advice from Joey Tribbiani and put it in the fridge overnight to keep me safe…

    New houses are great! I'm not keen on ghosts, though I don't *think* I've ever met one. Looking forward to your TToT – jumbled sounds fun 😀


  10. Ok now I'll definitely have awful dreams. I try not to watch scary movies. In fact I haven't watched TV in a while.
    I read a kinda scary book one time and I fell asleep only to be be plagued by awful dreams. I had to wake up and put the lights on and I even threw the book way under the bed so I wouldn't see it. A new take on the monster under the bed. Lol I am a coward.
    For that reason I like that the house I live in is tiny and relatively new. No ghosts from past residence hanging around only the ghosts of my dead ideas.
    I submitted a TTot but its all jumbled together 😦


  11. Thank you very much 🙂 I had a huge amount of fun with this post. You're right about the attitude! I guess my SC has much to keep tabs on, and some of the stuff I (clearly) make it deal with have rendered it snarky.

    That sounds like you're having some rather scary dreams. I only had a truly terrifying dream once, after I watched my first (and only) horror film – Wrong Turn. It's pathetic, really – barely even horror because it's so full of CHEESE, but there I was, running in the nighttime over a muddy nomansland covered in barbed wire (like WWII) with the light of bombs peppering the distance, being chased by one of the creepy mutant hicks. My foot caught in a dip in the ground and I crashed forward, face first into the mud. He caught me up and stood over me, waving a golf club over the back of my head with a soft and very sinister *whoom* *whoom* *whoom* as I waited, cringing for the moment he lifted it and swung it full-force into the back of my skull…


  12. That was Amazing. You're a gifted writer.. SC sure has an attitude lol but I guess it comes with the territory? I just found out about the faces in dreams being people you've seen and I keep racking my brains over which one of them keeps chasing me with the intent to kill me.


  13. Now did I know you were adopted? I can't remember whether I knew that or not, but I can see what you mean about it sometimes being better not to be a Big Deal.

    The law thing – it's all down to greed. Because of the NHS, I think the government don't want all all the (clearly hundreds of) people who have a heart for special needs kids in other countries to bring them over and use taxpayer money on complicated conditions requiring sometimes intensive, long-term medical treatment.

    When I found ThankfulLand, the people will be able to adopt from ANYWHERE and the healthcare will still be free. Because people will want to freely contribute according to their ability and we will be one big community of Givers.

    Your MIL's funeral sounds really good – that's how I want mine to be. Anglican funerals tend to be really dour. I want fun, introspect and CELEBRATION. I want people to talk with positivity about me and how I had an impact on them.

    I love how our thoughts can flow out through our fingertips – our souls distilled and displayed in ink or pixels – gorgeous 🙂


  14. Aw poor little grey dog who didn't win. Oh well, maybe next dream he'll beat those fish out.

    You know, the whole rules on adoption really anger me. Here's this little girl who needs a mom and dad. A family. And here's a family who would “dearly adore to adopt her” and is not allowed to. There's so much wrong with that. I don't understand it and it just makes me sad. My brother and his wife have been waiting a while to adopt a little girl. It seems so wrong that they've been waiting…when there are children who need homes TODAY. I'm sorry to read that the system continues to be flawed. I myself was adopted back in the days when it was all very hush-hush and it almost seems like it was better (easier anyway) then. Sigh.

    Having a great time is what counts – life is too messy and brief to worry about what people think about which game you choose to play. The important thing is that you play with friends.

    We really should try a different church. It's interesting how very different they each can be from one another, even those that are of the same brand of faith. On a side note, my husband's mother passed away last summer. While I never agreed with her brand of Christianity (strict southern Baptist who was convinced that all gay people are damned and other silly stuff like that), her funeral was the best I've ever attended. Attendees shared stories of her life – there was singing and praise and true honor. Not sure why that's relevant but it popped into my head and thus from my fingers to your lovely pages.

    And yes, it does do so much to remember the good. Thank you.


  15. Kahunas. Yes. Thankyou 😉

    Looking forward to getting and seeing everyone else's latest contributions.

    (as a relative spring chicken, I feel much has just whizzed over my head…)


  16. I'm glad you read SC as a man, too. I'm really not sure what that's about, but you're right – I know where to go to ask! Clark and his 'worldviews' have clearly become part of my psyche!

    And the fish – I loved them, but only saw the back of the shoebox they were in. I just knew they were there (also, they were in a talent contest and I was kinda bummed because there was a grey dog which had sung a song (with his head poked through a trapdoor in the tiny, tiny stage) who I wanted to win, but the fish beat him)

    I would dearly adore to adopt Violetta, and I did a lot of research and in the UK I'm not allowed to adopt a child from another country with which I haven't a prior connection, nor am I allowed to adopt an international child with special needs, period. It's a very sad state of affairs and it breaks my heart. Thank you so much for the kind thought though.

    I shall try to be less embarrassed about D&D. I have wonderful friends and we do have a great time.

    I shall certainly endeavour never to be preachy or condescending (there's really no need!). Faith can often be a bit complicated – I've had a few snaggles of my own lately, but I think I'm getting there. Perhaps you should try a different church – I'm blessed to attend one I love with a community of really awesome people. Are we unworthy of grace? Yes – but it's to do with the character of God, not to do with our worthiness or otherwise – thank goodness! Let me know what your SC says (also a man? interesting!)

    I'm really glad you liked it so much and as ever, thrilled that you joined in (and left such gorgeous feedback for me). It really does a great job to highlight the areas of our life where Good is happening, and that we share these areas with one another is so precious and so bonding.

    I shall see whether the cheerleading tropical fish ever pay me another visit…watch this space.


  17. I only wish I KNEW! It's never anything out of the ordinary – this is the thing. I've never been able to establish any kind of pattern to the utter bizarrety of my dreams!


  18. Why thank you – it was so much fun to write!

    I will soon be the owner of a DocTee, but no hat – I shall improvise with various hats of my own (I do like a good hat!)

    (Feedback (especially when so lovely) is never 'lame')


  19. heck of a post, yo

    (isn't it amazing, how sometimes when you start something like what you have done with this Post that it starts to take on an identity of it's own? Total props on the … (trying to think of a relatively polite non-sexist expression for having the nerve/courage/temerity*) to do this thing.

    er Christine! (it was before your (and most of the above correspondents above) time… the show was Laugh-in (late 60s the line was done by Arte Johnson in a quick 'blackout' sketch that would not make it to the TV screen today.)

    *have I covered over the expression that was lurking in my compliment sufficiently yet?


  20. This is epic and amazing and utterly brilliant. You could do an entire book interviewing SC (which I read as a man as well – weird and I'd appreciate you asking HER why we all assumed she was a he). I, too, thought of Clark when you spoke about your worldview and love the imagery of cheerleading tropical fish! Love.
    The book conversation was priceless. Since I'm not familiar with Reece's Rainbow page (and honestly, I'm not sure that I should be – there are some things that bother me too deeply but for you, I will check it out), I have to ask, have you considered adopting Violetta? Is this something that you want to make happen and that we should all rally around to raise funds for her?
    Regarding D&D – funny way to share. My brothers used to play for hours. I never learned how to play myself but I'm glad you have such a great group of friends to have so much fun with. And I am never turned off by people expressing their faith, or their lack of it unless (on either side) it is preachy and condescending. You, my friend, are neither and I'm proud of you for sharing something that you weren't sure whether to share. My own faith is a bit complicated these days. While I strongly believe in God and pray daily, church doesn't often “help” me. I'm not sure why. I should really explore this – did I have a bad experience? Do I feel unworthy? Unsure. I will have to ask my SC (who is likely also a man).
    This might be my favorite post that you've ever written. Ever. It's amazing (as are you). OH! I almost forgot to include that 10 Things Thankful truly is an awesome idea. I love the exercise each week. It always makes me realize how lucky and blessed we are where sometimes, when playing with typical children, I don't always see. I'm thankful to be included and I'm thankful that you shared your fab idea with the rest of us. You deserve cheerleading tropical fish for this alone!


  21. Thank you for writing this post. It was totally awesome. Lame words coming after the ones I just read but I am sincere:)
    Tell me you not only have a new Wakefield Doctrine docTee but a Doctrine hat as well! Got to borrow from Orson when I say you be a speaker for the clarks lol
    I loved your post today Considerer.


  22. Thank you – I had so much fun doing it! It was a real writing exercise as much as something which started from a germ of an idea. Thanks for including Violetta and Gretchen in your prayers – the more people who get in there, (hopefully) the better things could be.


  23. Yes – I never saw them; only the back of the shoebox they were in, but I knew they were in there…

    Have you ever read the book 'I don't have enough faith to be an atheist'? Husby's read it and found it fascinating. I don't know whether I'll find that people run away now, but I love the openness of the blogosphere that allows all people to have a voice and be heard without getting too cliquey.

    The blogging world definitely affords opportunities for meeting new folks and it's great fun. You're right though – if someone's offended enough by my faith to leave, the chances are this is not the place for them – thanks for that thought 🙂


  24. Thank you – that's very encouraging to hear. I will try harder – I know I was failing rather on the 'total honesty' front. I feel a bit better having made a step in the right direction.


  25. Hah! I bet! Carol Burnett would be proud of you 🙂

    Fascinating that you nearly went with the male voice, too – evidently I defy all logic, but at least I'm consistent in it.

    I know what you mean about The Shack. A lot of it was rather too big for the edges of my mind to fold around.


  26. Cheerleading tropical fish, eh? Hilarious mental picture! I found it interesting how you feel nervous about sharing your faith. When I was a devout Christian, I felt the same way and like no one else would understand. Now that I'm an atheist I feel like the blogosphere is primarily Christians and if I mention my non-faith, people will run away.

    The thing is, I love meeting different people and reading perspectives I wouldn't necessarily run into in my daily offline life. My favourite bloggers are honest and authentic and I don't necessarily share their views or beliefs. But I still like hearing about them as long as they're presented in the spirit of learning about each other and ourselves.

    If someone is scared off by you talking about your faith, is that person really someone you're going to connect with anyway?


  27. Oh my word, I laughed when I wrote that joke. I crack myself up.
    You thought of your own SC as a man? Huh. As I wrote it, I almost wrote “he” but stopped and changed it to “she”. You're a woman, so of course your SC would be a she. Veeeerry interesting. (Make sure you say that with a rolled r. I can't remember what show it's from, but that's always how we say it.)
    The Shack was mind-boggling. I loved it and hated it all at the same time.


  28. This was F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S….thank you for sharing it with all of us. And as far as the “confession of faith”…I have to agree with In The Coop…it IS part of you and if you're going to put yourself out there in this blog, put ALL of yourself. Your writing is a blessing to so many, I am sure! Thank you for sharing ALL of you with your faithful followers! 🙂


  29. Oh WOW! I'll take some ice with that burn 😉

    You're right though about the honesty thing – it is important and thus far I've been pretty much a wuss about it. SC has a point.

    Interesting that you identify SC as 'her' – another friend and I both identified SC as a male voice, which was weird (particularly that he and I came up with this independently).

    I'm really glad you liked it – I've never tried anything like this before and it was kinda an idea which got away from me, but it was so much fun.

    (Also, isn't The Shack awesome but mad!)


  30. You are brilliant. It very much reminded me of when I read “The Shack”. I had to keep reminding myself, “She actually wrote this whole thing. This isn't really an interview. She's coming up with this on her own.”
    Funny how you are so open about so many personal things in your life, but you are afraid to say you are Christian. Your faith is a part of you, and an important part at that. I agree with SC (See, I have to keep reminding myself that she's not “real”.) Be honest. It's worked for you so far. 🙂
    I'm thinking people would leave over the D&D thing before the Christian thing.

    It's a joke!!! No one's going anywhere!! 🙂


  31. I'm glad I can still make you say that!

    And I suppose I have taken a 'not my idea' and turned it into a 'my thing' and taken my co-hosts (and lovely, regular contributors) along with me. I love all the conversations we have, though. They are what make it so good (as well as all the Thankfuls)

    900 million blogs? That certainly boggles the mind!


  32. damn!*
    thank you…**

    * a compliment

    **actual, cause I now have a focus for morning words tomorrow! (another compliment: your SC may state something to the effect that you are simply taking a good idea and running with it… you have done more than that. Two things more: a) you are adding to the idea (especially the more open/conversational feel of this while still technically being a 'hop' and 2) you are manifesting yourself/your feelings and emotions through what you have put into this effort… in other words, in a blogosphere os aprx 900 million people and nearly as many blogs, a certain number of people have chosen to come here and participate… by their choice… not bad for something that is 'not your idea'…


  33. Well done for making it through – have 10 Awesome Points (I think you and everyone else who reads this monster post deserves them!)

    I hope so too – they weigh heavily on my heart and I really should try harder on their behalf.


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