Facebook, why only NOW?

Dear Facebook

I have a confession to make – this year, in the midst of all that has been going on lately – I nearly forgot about my wedding anniversary.

And you didn’t help, either – you only sent me a notification this morning (complete with pretty, pink heart emoticon) that ‘Anniversary with Joe today’ is happening. Well shucks – thanks for the heads up!

As recently as the weekend, people have asked whether we’re ‘doing anything Wednesday’ and I’ve casually told them “No, don’t think so – why?” and been puzzled at the shocked look on their faces. Apparently I have committed some form of cardinal sin in forgetting (with so little sign of shame) that the date is significant.

Nonetheless, with in-laws visiting, combats with mental health on many fronts and with various loved ones and the ongoing grieving/acceptance process of the loss of two children and the prospect of never having more, the marking of our wedding anniversary seems to have slipped, faded into the background and become unimportant (in a way).

You may have noticed though, that this morning came with an update – yes, Facebook – we celebrated in style over breakfast by cracking open the Twinings Tea (and for two people used to the Sainsbury’s or Lidl value brands, this is *quite* the occasion) and shared a lovely cuppa while reminiscing about what we’d been doing at that’o’clock three years ago…

The day itself, that relatively short time ago, was lovely.

It was the culmination of months of effort on many people’s parts,  notably WonderAunty, who bore my occasional Bridezilla-ness with an attitude of calm practicality and was able to calm me down, make suggestions and find ways forward where I’d hit a brick wall.

Husby and I, on the other hand, went variously to pieces – falling out over the wedding dance (to the point that, two nights before, we nearly chucked it all in) because he can’t find a rhythm in music and I don’t let him lead, but not wanting to miss the opportunity of having a ‘first dance’ and forever regretting it; panicking about being late (me) or falling out with siblings over a tie (him).

[A pause so I can share our wedding song with you – we did dance in the end, and well, according to onlookers – thank you Sam Cooke]

I recall distinctly (Facebook, you might too – I expect I posted about it at the time, thinking it was such the original thought) agreeing with Husby that neither of us wanted this day to be ‘The Best Day of Our Lives’ because that would inherently mean it was all downhill from there, and this allowed us to be somewhat forgiving of situations which didn’t go entirely to plan and allowed a (marginally) lesser level of panic.

In the end our wedding went as smoothly as clockwork. I was ready on time, arrived on time, got married on time and (most importantly according to the two of us) the reception ended on time (thus preventing the Irish wedding tradition of drinking til the wee hours which may otherwise have ensued), and we were firmly and (I hope) irretrievably wed.

I have some fond memories of the day

  • Seeing Husby looking proud and nervous in his gorgeous suit
  • Husby and I pulling our first ‘Newly Married’ tongue-pokey-out faces in the doorway of the church while sensible photos were being called for
  • Tripping over my own dress while trying to manouevre for photographs (and realising that no-one had noticed and I’d gotten away with it)
  • Sneaking away to a room away from all the crowds to have a plateful of lunch with just Husby and I and no People!
  • Our cake, which was 3 teir, white and coated in pick’n’mix sweets with a spray of sweets on top. The table was also strewn with the remainder of (about 3kg) pick’n’mix the cake decorators hadn’t used and we threw handfuls of sweets at our guests after we’d cut the cake.
  • My going away outfit, which was gorgeous and had shoes which utterly crippled me in under half an hour
  • Returning home from the wedding reception to take shoes off, put feet up and watch Come Dine With Me, nursing a cup of tea together on the sofa
  • Trying to change our status from ‘Single’ to ‘Married’ on Facebook and realising it would take 24 hours to alter
  • Eating at a Mexican restaurant, still giddy at the change in relationship status
  • Our first night together…

 Facebook, you have been with us from the off, and it’s been wonderful to appraise our friends-and-relations of the status of our relationship via your updates.

It’s been great to hear from people long distant that they’re thinking of us, praying for us and otherwise encouraging and supporting us via your functions.

But Facebook, when it comes to letting me know it’s my wedding anniversary when I’ve got a lot on, could you give me, say, a week’s notice? It would help an awful lot and prevent me from committing social hari-kiri in quite such a spectacular way…

Thanks, though, for being there and documenting our journey.

Yes it looks a little weird – it’s a photo of a photo because I’m too much the troglodyte to have a digi image to hand…

(Fittingly) The Final Two Weeks of Ten Things of Thankful

1. Husby and the way our relationship has evolved and grown stronger over the last three years.

2. Tonight’s meal (with accompanying parents-in-law) to celebrate

3. The lovely array of cards and best wishes we’ve had from friends-and-relations

4. The weather, which continues while not to be summery per se, has witheld on the downpour front for some time now.

5. For a lovely shower this morning which somehow inspired two blog posts which will be present in the near future

6. For the Ten Things of Thankful which has been rather a blessing and has really encouraged me to make the effort each day to find some good, and even on the days where that has been difficult, good has been found.

7. For a friend of Husby’s who offered us fertilised chicken eggs, an offer I would dearly love to take him up on, but one which I think I must refuse due to the nature of the shared gardens at our flat and the restrictions imposed by the council. They’re ok with snails and a tarantula and a fish tank (coming soon) but I think chickens may be pushing the envelope a little far. It was an awesome offer though, and a dream I hold dear.

8. For being slightly starstruck at the calibre of people ‘Liking’ the Considerings Facebook page and for discovering a that one of my favourite bloggy people has ‘liked’ it (and upon discovering their presence on Facebook, worrying that it’s too stalkerish to request them as a friend, sighing and clicking away)

9. For having confirmation from my lecturer that my final pieces of work have been received, marked, and I have passed the unit (and likely the course)  with flying colours.

10. For this three hour video of waves crashing beautifully onto a beach, which I have discovered makes a far superior (and less distracting) audio background to writing than music (I’ve also just discovered quite by accident that if you listen to it at the same time as the aforementioned Sam Cooke number, it’s like having a private Sam Cooke concert on a secluded beach, which is perfectly delicious)


16 thoughts on “Facebook, why only NOW?

  1. Thanks Cyndi. Life is a test we must all pass, right?

    It's a great word (and a bit different than the usual hubby/hubs/husband fiasco – which is likely why I use it).

    11.5 years and still in love is a real inspiration. All these long-married people I will aim to emulate 🙂 Well done youse.


  2. XmlSplit-33-Trial Happy Anniversary. And yes, though life itself will test the temerity of your relationship, if you're committed to each other, you'll come out stronger for it. and it sounds like you are. 🙂 My husby (I LOVE that word! I'm going to have to use that, lol) and I have been through the gamut of life events. We've been married 11.5 years and I'm still in love. 🙂


  3. I'm so glad it wasn't just me! It did turn out to be a very special day. I've even got some pics now (sent over by my WonderAunty, who *does* have the digi images) so there's a future post right there 🙂


  4. Oh well look how that worked out! You're on. Is this before or after the lemonade on the porch (if the workers are permitted to join – WonderAunty is definitely all up for that).

    The song is gorgeous and having happened across how great it sounds with the beach track, I've been listening to it all day.

    It was great but not without stress and I think if I did it all again, I'd consider eloping and having a jeans and t-shirt wedding, but it was lovely.

    Cheers to that!


  5. Fortunately, I don't need to rely on FB to alert me. I just need you to write an anniversary post each year. Ours is next week, and you will be my week-ahead reminder. Thank you in advance. 🙂
    Fantastic song! So glad you both saw the light and realized the wedding (and the dance) was not something to stress about. I've heard women say they haven't enjoyed their wedding days because it was all just so much work. It makes me sad every time.
    Here's to a lifetime together!


  6. Thanks 🙂

    WOW seven years! That's a long time but I'm confident that Husby and I will make it there – we will follow in your footsteps. Looking forward to your pics (are there going to be pics?) as loved your ones of Kevin and the girls – you've got a real knack for showing your life in a wonderful way on your blog.


  7. What an adorable and charming (and funny) post! Happy Anniversary and hoping that the future bring you many more years together filled with love, joy, and much deserved happiness.


  8. Happy Wedding Anniversary and the two of you look so beautiful in the wedding photo you shared above. We, too, will be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary in a few short weeks and I know what you mean about life sometimes getting in the way. But so nice to know Facebook will never let us down and remind us, lol!! Seriously have a wonderful day and enjoy your special anniversary 🙂 🙂


  9. That's such a good idea! If I could find my perpetual calendar I'd stick it in there for mid-may! Traditions are good as long as you both can enjoy them.

    I was impressed with the wedding dress in the end – managed to find it locally for not too much money and it was a stunner (course, I'm not sure what to do with it now…)


  10. A week's notice is a good idea. My husband and I always plan on celebrating, and we talk about it a month before the anniversary date, and then on the actual week we forget. It has become our own, sad, little tradition.

    Your wedding dress was beautiful.

    Love the idea of writing a letter to facebook. Brilliant.


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