That has to be a record!

To clarify for those to whom this picture will make no sense, it’s the USS Voyager encountering a temporal anomaly

The day started off as a luxuriously lazy Saturday. It was almost indolent – we didn’t get up til midday and then did nothing til 2pm. One of the strong perks of not having children to worry about (there’s that silver lining).

I did a little assignment-completion, Husby did some organising of his man dollies very special toy soldiers, we bickered about the need to go shopping in time to get Neff for dinner.

The phone rang. My mum.

Sister wants an extra half hour to chat before I take Neff.

Things move up from priority 1 to urgent and we zoomed off to the shop, bickering more because Husby hadn’t been ready to go at the pre-agreed time, but then at the last minute I realised I’d forgotten to make the jelly for dessert, so that had to be sandwiched in but still didn’t excuse him for not having been ready on time – we were just both as bad as each other.

The car park was busy, the shop was packed. We had our list, we got in there at 3.15pm and we SHOPPED. A trolleyful of shopping, a wait at the checkout, a quick trip back to get a forgotten item and 4 bags packed later, we left.

Now, I want to emphasise, we live in a fairly normal part of the world. It’s urban, civilised, mundane. There are no temporal anomalies to be concerned with. Time stays regular.

When we got out of the shop, I checked my watch. 3.21pm.

Six. Minutes. Later.

What the…?


I still don’t know.

Answers on a postcard, please, and nominate us for any super-speedy-shopper awards you see fit!

On the plus side, Neff was still psyched to be visiting for tea (despite his Aunty and Uncle’s apparent magicalness with time travel) and helped to cook, played on the CBEEBIES website alone (this kid is 5! How can they just KNOW how to use computers so young?) and ate his tea very well indeed. It was a super, lovely, warm time and I’m already looking forward to next time.

For those folk who love hearing about new recipes (and I only say this because I got told off for omitting them before, naming no names) I will hereby announce the bizarre-yet-wonderful concoction that is Salami Stew with Dumplings.

Ingredients (serves 4)

For the stew
1 red onion
1 can chopped tomato
1 cup sweetcorn
2 carrots, peeled and diced
8-10 slices of salami
1 tblsp tomato puree
1 tsp garlic puree
1 tsp stock (OXO, Buillon, whatever)
1 tsp mixed herbs
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp chilli powder
4 tsp Bisto gravy powder (or equivalent)

For the dumplings
8oz Self raising flour
2oz suet
1 tblsp mixed herbs
Water to mix

Finely chop the onion and begin cooking it in a little oil in the bottom of a large saucepan. Once soft, add the tin of tomatoes and about half the tin filled with water. Add the sweetcorn and meantime cook the carrots in the microwave until nearly soft, then add them too. Chop the salami into strips (it helps to roll all the slices together then cut them) and add it. Add the tomato puree, garlic puree, herbs, spices, stock and gravy. Make sure the mixture is runny. Leave it simmering on a low heat.

Combine the dry ingredients of the dumplings and add water until a soft dough is formed. Pinch off ping-pong-ball sized amounts and roll them, then drop them into the stew. Cook for a further 10-15 minutes until the dumplings have risen. Serve and enjoy.

Okay, I slightly lied about the time-being-normal thing. After I’d taken Neff home, my best friend in the world visited and we chatted and time did that slowing-down-and-becoming-richer thing it does around very good friends. And there was tea – lots of tea.


4 thoughts on “That has to be a record!

  1. Oops! Did I lose you in translation? My apologies! If you use the stew, I hope your kids like it – the credit is all Neff's – I would never have thought of it without his inspiration.


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