The time is coming

Things are trundling forward in a decidedly negative way.

Husby is struggling ever-more with his condition (and I am struggling ever more with him, bless him – he has to put up not only with a medical nightmare but with a wife who regularly displays less-than-sympathetic responses to the multitude of ways the medical nightmare affects him; somehow we’re still married and on the same team, which I daresay speaks a lot more to his greatness of character than mine).

Whilst we’re so, so lucky to have the NHS (and reading the blogs of various Americans, this has lately been much underlined) it would be so nice if the various elements of it were able to find a way to talk to each other. Or us. Because at the moment, due to patient confidentiality etc I can’t do any of Husby’s phonecalls for him. And he’s mostly not in a condition to make them (sadly no-one’s yet invented a way of remembering to make, then having important phone conversations whilst asleep).

At our last appointment, the fertility doctor said that Husby would need to ‘make a couple of donations’ before proceeding on a particular effective treatment, due to the possibility that treatment holds for rendering him permanently infertile. Said doctor emailed the donation team, who immediately replied. Two months on and we’re still waiting to hear from them. Husby’s next appointment with the fertility doctor is at the beginning of February. My appointment with him (to see if I’d even be able to carry a child) is at the end of February. At this stage we need Husby’s treatment to start from the time of his appointment.

If the appropriate samples are taken, there’s a chance for me to receive IUI (once I’m 30). If the samples are not taken, this will no longer be an option.

Husby needs fixing, and whilst we’d both dearly love a biological child, we have always been prepared to adopt (we’d just considered it an and/both option rather than either/or, or a straightforward alternative) I am beginning to come to the point in my thinking that one way or another, this delay might swing the balance. If there is to be no IUI, we will move forward with adoption. If IUI is on the cards, we’ll try that first.

I only hope that in proceeding with adoption, they won’t then make us wait 6 months before moving forward with us (standard procedure when couples learn they’re infertile) because we’ve received conflicting information on whether or not the treatment will actually render Husby infertile – the endocrinologist says yes, the fertility doctor says likely not.

In which case we’ll be looking at (in the best possible analogy) a case of Schrodinger’s Sperm – we won’t know whether or not Husby is infertile until I do or do not get pregnant. In the meantime, I see no reason why adoption procedures should be delayed.

I only hope that the adoption people think the same way ’cause this trying-to-be-patient thing is wearing very thin.


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