The fallout of being a child

Offspring of a father’s will
Your life so short yet; turbulent
Updown, goalposts changed
Hurts were caused without repent
Life changed at last for positive
Forever and for good – you’re safe
Though infant pangs emerge
And day-to-day you find they chafe
The anger curled in one so small
Set to be hurled at slightest irk
At those who love you most
Your violence is hard work
Unmet demands cause meltdown
“More.” “Now.” “Do it.” “You.”
Uncomprehending of empathy
Trapped in tunnel-view
Listen, resistance is futile:
You will be loved, though
Your resistance means
It’s hard to let you know
The smallest thing can cause a snap
‘Twixt closeness and aggression
Those adult patterns in your child’s brain
Writ in fierce expression
The crunch of skull connecting
With tender flesh and bone
Red mist descending, love and rage
Pain and anger shown
Insolent shrug, grimace, retreat.
Why won’t you meet my eyes?
You don’t care; you little sod!
Bruise breaks, heart cries
I won’t talk back.
Adult pain and childish hurt
Rolled into one confusion
How can this revert?
Later, ignored, you try
To please and show me something good
Begrudgingly I praise,
I wasn’t sure I would
Onward still, you snuggle up
Sit on lap, cling and don’t let go
Not even to sneeze may I release you
Hurt recedes and there let comfort grow
Spiky, desperate, fierce, scared
The only way you know to share
The pain of feelings burdening you
Deep down though, you care.

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