It’s discipline again and I am surely lacking.
Whether it’s not filtering the comments and views my brain explodes and letting them slide into being with precisely no critical analysis, not looking after myself (by doing that simplest of all things – going to bed before midnight, just *sometimes*), or not processing WHY someone might have done something to put me in a highly embarrassed meltdown before going absolutely to town on them, ripping off their head and hitting them with the stump of it…my track record sucks at the moment.
Perhaps it’s lack of sleep (all my own fault) or illness (exacerbated by lack of sleep) but this last couple of weeks has not been brilliant for me. I’ve been operating on maximum 70% efficiency and some of my nearest and dearest have borne the brunt.
Perhaps it’s priorities which are out of sync.
Perhaps it’s a head-in-the-sand reaction to bad news (and as yet no further input to the positive).
Perhaps it’s just that I’m sprinkling stupid all over my breakfast each morning.
Perhaps it’s immaturity.
Perhaps it’s habit.
My bezzie has a theory that it takes 66 days to break a habit. She’s an inspiration and also kind of a motivator. She bears no truck with my complaining-but-not-actually-doing-anything default. I may try to learn from her experiences and commit to something mad like 66 days where I’m in my bed before 11pm. After Christmas, natch.
Still pondering why we do things we know aren’t good for us, and when we realise, why we perpetuate them. Why we allow them to continue.
Likewise when we see something we don’t like occurring in the world, the collective default seems to be to make much noise and do little. What is it about pro-activeness which is so hard to get into? Other than the fact that you need to be pro-active to get into the habit of being pro-active.
M. Scott Peck’s book ‘The Road Less Travelled’ has a very interesting last section on spirituality, wherein (amongst other things) he makes the suggestion that perhaps the Original Sin which afflicts the human race is laziness. Whilst I’m not sure about the theological accuracy of this statement, laziness certainly does seem to be a common issue.
Was it always? I guess there have always been better (read more enjoyable) alternatives to doing the things we don’t want to do but know must be done. It can’t just be our current, modern society that’s affected by a lack of energy, whether mental or physical.
The big question is – what am I going to do about it?